You are my light
by SeriinSakura
Summary: It's not like I don't want to be friends. It's not like I don't want to trust them. and especially him. But will they still want to be my friends if they know? Because after all...How could I ever tell them? Yukino tries to live her life as well as possible, but finds herself trapped in a very dangerous situation , wich makes it hard for her to open up to others ( OOC)
1. Control

**A/N**

 **Thanks for reading. please review, since this is my first fanfic ever. it's a bit short maybe, i'll try to make longer chapters**

 **CH. 1 : 'Control'**

The loud music pounded trough my room as I turned the bass on, and the volume high. I sat down on the ground next to my bed, leaning my back into the frame as I picked up my pocketknife. I closed my eyes as I pulled up my sleeve. My heartbeat was pounding in my ears, louder and faster than the music. Faster than it should be. My breathing was shallow. The vibrant red pulsed behind my closed eyelids, as I put the knife on my upper arm, added pressure, and pulled back. A sigh escaped my lips as the burning sensation made me feel almost exhilerated.

 _'Control. I need to regain my control. I can't lose my control',_ i thought to myself.

I cut trough my skin a second time. And a third. And then I just kept going untill my heartbeat slowed down, my breathing turned back to normal, and my eyelids didn't pulse red anymore. My arm burned from the cuts, as I felt blood dripping down. Slowly I opened my eyes.

 _'How many this time?'_

I took in the damage as I counted.

 _'Too much'_

My dad slammed my bedroom door against the wall.

"Yukino! Turn that music down! Now!"

Ofcourse he'd start yelling as soon as he came home. Calmly I pulled down my sleeve and got up. If he noticed the cuts, I knew he'd never say anything about it , or it would be a hatefull remark. He didn't care anyway. Never did, not even then...

 _My mother yelled at my dad, while she started crying._

 _"That's it! I've had enough! I will not accept you tormenting me any longer! This time I mean it. I'm leaving!"_

 _And she picked up her suitcases and walked right out the frontdoor, and out of my life. And he just snorted as she left._

 _"Good ridance", and he gave me a faul grin, like he purpossely tried to hurt me._

 _I know she didn't leave me, or at least; she didn't intend to. But I never saw her again. She moved as far away from my dad as she possibly could. She fled. She emailed and called me every now and then, but truthfully, I was hurt by the fact that she left me here, with him. I knew why she left. I knew what he was like. Just as I knew he would not let me leave too. First of all, I was still a minor. Second of all...I was his favourite toy_

I walked over to my radio and turned the volume down.

"Anything else?", I taunted him.

I knew I was provoking him, I knew that. I just hated him so much for imprissoning me like this. For not allowing me to have a lock on my bedroom door, and allways invading my privacy. There was only one reason why I did not go to the police to turn him in; when the time was right I would kill him with my own hands, without getting convicted, because it would be selfdefense. That's why provoking him didn't bother me, even though I knew what might happen if I did. I just needed to be pushed a little more. So close to the edge..

 _'Just another nudge old man, and I'll send you straight to hell.'_

"Get diner ready, bitch."

And he left. No remarks on dressing up, as he sometimes did. Fine. I'd get diner ready. Maybe I would poison him in the process. First him and then myself. I wanted to taste the sweet bliss of death.

...

...

...

Next morning was Monday. The first day at a new school, since my father decided to move to Magnolia over the summer break. The school was called "Mavis' Higschool for the gifted." Apparently it gave it's students the freedom to explore and develop their talents, and the teachers gave appropriate guidance, adapted to each students' qualities. I liked that. Maybe I'd finally be able to play the piano again. I loved music. It calmed me, soothed me. Especially classical music.

As I got ready for school, my father passed me in the hallway on his way to work. Just when I thought he would let me leave without messing with me for once, he shoved me asside and pushed me against the wall, one hand on my right shoulder, the other firmly grasping my chin, forcing me to look at him.

"Listen up. If I find out you start dating one of those punks at school, I'll beat you within an inch of your life, understood?"

"Yes, sir." _'_

 _As if I wanted a boyfriend after being diviled by you',_ I thought.

As if he read my mind, his left hand lowered to my breast, squeezing it.

"That's right, you little slut. You're mine."

And after that he let go, pushing me out the front door. As I started to feel nauseous, I ran out of the street and turned the corner to the subway station. I made my way to some bushes, and bent over them, emptying my stomach on the leafs.

"Fuck".

He got to me again.

Arriving at school, I noticed it was huge, and crowded with students.

 _'Oh God, help me.'_

I hated crowds. It was allways so narrow and noisy. I already heard over a thousand voices at once, all from the students and teachers crowding the school grounds. It was getting on my nerves. I grabbed my upper arm, putting pressure on the cuts. I wanted to tear them open, and let the stress bleed out.

A warm hand touched my right shoulder.

"You ok?"

My stomach twisted in my body as I realised a guy was touching me, and in a split second I swirled around, slapping his hand away. The pink haired boy shook his hand more in surprise than actual pain, and stared at me a bit dumbfounded. His party of friends looked at me with surprise and distrust, although one black haired guy looked pretty amused. I knew I overreacted but he startled me. A blonde stepped forward.

"Sorry, Natsu probably startled you. Are you allright? You look a bit off."

I stared into her big brown eyes, and tried to see if I could trust her.

"I'm fine", I finally replied.

"I just got a bit overwhelmed. I'm not used to having so many people at one school."

I gave the pink haired guy a coutious glare.

"Sorry about that."

He gave me the widest (and honestly the dumbest) grin I had ever seen.

"No problem."

He held out his hand.

"I'm Natsu."

I carefully shook his hand, noticing how feverish this guy felt, making sure not to flinch at the contact.

"Yukino Agria."

Natsu nodded and gestured at the blonde.

"That's my girl Lucy."

Lucy nodded with a bashfull smile when he said 'my girl'. Natsu gestured at the blackhaired guy, who was almost shirtless, apart from a sleeveless jacket he was wearing, showing of his clearly toned and tanned upper body.

' _What the hell?'_

"That's Gray, my best buddy",

Natsu told me, as he was already turning around slightly to point at the others. There was a beautifull red haired girl, who was obviously older than Natsu, Lucy and Gray, And a blue haired guy , standing quietly next to her.

"That's Erza and Jellal."

Natsu finished his introductions with a smile. Erza nodded with a stern face, as Jellal smiled at me slightly.

"Hello, Yukino. It's nice to meet you."

Jellal's voice was gentle and soft, and somehow I felt a little more at ease. I nodded in return, and decided to ask for a little help.

"Say,Lucy. I need to go to the secrettary's office, to get my schedule and such. Could you tell me where it is?"

Lucy smiled, seemingly pleased with my request.

"Ofcourse, come with me. I'll show you."

As she led me into the building, I noticed the entire party followed us. They must be close friends. Lucy showed the building to me on the way to hte office, explaining in wich direction what classes were held.

"Here we are",

she said, stopping in front of a door that had the name 'Ms Mirajane Strauss' on it.

"She is young, but very kind",

Lucy told me.

" If you need anything, you can ask her".

I smiled and thanked her, and said goodbye to the entire group, before turning towards the door. I took a deep breath, and knocked.


	2. Newbie

**CH.2 Newbie**

"Come in!"

The female voice sounded kind, and like music to my ears. Slowly I opened the door, and stepped inside. A fair, young, silverhaired woman looked at me with big blue hues full of kindness.

"What can I do for you?" she friendly inquiered.

I took a step forward, drawn in by her kindness. After all, I've known so little kindness in my life.

"It's my first day here. So I've got no idea where my classes are, or how it all works."

My direct and honest answer made her smile.

"Close the door and sit down. I'll get some papers for you."

I did as she said, looking around as I took a seat. The office was not very big, but light, decorated with some really girly furniture. Not really my taste, but not bad. There was a picture on the wall, showing the woman in front of me, with a younger girl that looks exactly like her, but with a short pixie haircut, and a massive muscled guy. Obviously her relatives.

"My siblings", Ms Strauss explained as she noticed what I was looking at.

"My younger sister, Lisanna, should be about your age. She goes to school here too. My brother, Elfman, is in the school football team. Quarterback."

She smiled at me as she put a stack of papers on the desk.

"I just graduated last year. They liked me so much, the headmaster asked me to stay as a student counselor."

She reached out her hand.

"Mirajane Strauss. But you can just call me Mira. Everyone does."

I grasped her hand and shook it gently.

"Yukino Agria."

Mira nodded, and grabbed a pen, scribling something down on a memo. She handed me a paper, wich turned out to be a list of the basic classes everybody has to take, plus a list where those classes are held, and where the classrooms are. Mirajane looked up at me again.

"Do you have any specific classes you want to join, to increase your talents? Or try something new?"

I nodded.

"Yes. I wanted to take music classes and arts."

My thoughts wander back home. I am too weak. I need...

" And Self defense, and martial arts. I'd like those too."

Mira looked happy when I mentioned music and arts, but at martial arts her face looked shocked.

"Are you sure? Erza Scarlet is the only girl in that class, and she is as rough as the guys are, if

not worse."

I nodded again, this time more frantically.

"Very sure."

Mirajane sighed in defeat as she saw the determination in my eyes, and went trough some papers again. In the distance I hear a schoolbell ring and Mira's

"Oh boy, I'm late."

told me I should probably be in class right now. She picked another letter from drawer, signed it and handed it to me.

"Show this to your teacher. That way he won't make a note of you being late."

She handed me the rest of the papers.

"If you want to join anything else, come see me. But for now, off you go."

I thanked her and left the office with an impressive pile of papers. Where was that school map again?As I searched for my schedule and my map, the stack of papers in my hand became a bit annoying to hold in one hand. When I finally found the right papers, and pulled them out of the stack, the rest of the papers where sent flying trough the air, and slowly glided to the floor.

"O my."

I got down on all fours to grab my papers, and was suddenly confronted with a pair of huge black army boots right in front of me. Before I could look up, a black haired guy squated down, and started picking up papers. His long black hair was ridiculously messy, pointing in all different directions, and his face and body were addorned with flat, metal piercings. His nose, his eyebrows, his ears, even his arms. I looked down at my papers in shock. He looked scary.

" New huh?"

His huskey voice rumbled in my ears.

"Uh, yeah."

He hands me the papers, and I look up to thank him. My words get stuck in my troath as I looked him in the eye. His eyes are a very dark shade of brown, but they seem to have an almost red-ish glow to them. I can hear myself gulp, and by the look on his face, he heard it too. The left corner of his mouth twitched into something I guessed was meant to be a smile,revealing a long fanglike tooth just slipping over his lower lip, and basically, it makes him look like a tiger stalking his prey. And I don't paricularly like that idea.

"Uh...I...Uhm...thanks for helping."

He chuckled at my stuttering.

"No problem, newbie. Need help getting to class?"

My heart almost stopped beating.

"N-No, I'll be fine."

I looked at my schedule, hoping he would go away, but instead, he took a step forward, so he could stand next to me, peeking over my shoulder so he could look at my schedule. I stood frozen in fear. A guy like this standing behind me, and so close. I was really scared, as I felt him breathing down my neck.

"Oh, we both have Maths. Follow me newbie, we're late."

My head snapped up as he walked away, basiacally leaving me no other choice but to follow him. Great. Not like he was waiting for me or anything.

Reluctantly I folowed him, while my father's parting words from this morning rang in my mind. Not even he would call this dating, but if he would be irrational enough, or just looking for a reason to hurt me, he could definetely find a way to call this dissobediance. A cold shiver ran down my spine as I started to calm my mind.

 _'Calm. You're save here. He can't hurt you here.'_

I told myself that over and over. The black haired guy stops in front of a door, wich has the number of our maths class on it. I inhale nervously.

"Scared newbie?"

he asked me with a mean grin. Gosh ,he is annoying.

"No." I exclaimed firmly.

" It's just another damn class."

I paused.

"But thanks for taking me here. Sure saved me some time."

He chuckled a bit weird, for some pierced punk like he is. It sounded a bit mischievous, like a high "ghihihi", and it send shivers down my spine, and made my hair stand on end. I don't think I like him.

"Ladies first, newbie."

I snorted. "Yukino."

He grinned.

"Yeah, like I'll remember."

Ugh. Annoying punk.

"Whatever, scum."

Now he just laughed at me, as I swung the door open and marched into the classroom, completely annoyed and irritated. The teacher looks at me, his face one big questionmark.

"I assume you would be Miss Agria?" he asked me.

I nodded and handed him the letter Mira gave me. He looks at it, and then nodded, before glancing over my shoulder at the 'rockstar'.

"And you, mr Redfox? Do you have any good reason to be late? Again?"

The punk chuckled.

"Newbie over here decided to decorate the floor with her papers. So I thought I'd help her pick them up, like the gentleman I am."

Someone in the back snickered at his explaination, as he continued:

" And I decided I'd let her tag along, as she needed to be here anyway."

The teacher looked at me in disbelieve, and I nodded reluctantly.

"Allright, Gajeel. You're off the hook this time. Take your seat."

The guy, who's name apparently is Gajeel, walked over to a red haired girl somewhere in the middle and took the empty seat next to her. I wonder if she's his girl. She looks weird enough to date trash like him. Her long red, flame like hair is so long, even in a high ponytail it still reached the floor. She wore a tight red dress, with splits up to her tighs. It looked hot on her, but who wore a dress to school?

The teacher cleared his troath.

"Miss Agria?"

I looked at him with a blush on my cheeks as I realised I missed his question.

"Sorry? I didn't hear you."

The majority of my new classmates started to laugh and giggle at my absentmindedness. Great. I'm already making a fool of myself. The teacher smiled at me friendly.

"Could you introduce yourself to your classmates shortly?"

O shit. I hated this.

"Uh."

I saw a familiar flash of pink to my left, and as I looked at it ,I saw Lucy and Natsu. I kept looking at Lucy, who gave me an encouraging nod. Talking to her won't be that bad. I looked at her as I started talking.

" My name is Yukino Agria. I moved to Fiore during summerbreak, and now live in the Magnolia district with my", I gulped loudly. "My father."

If anybody heared my gulp, they sure didn't respond to it.

"I like music, and play piano."

Gajeel jolted upright from his lazy position at my last sentence. I can hardly imagine he would like my kind of music ,but either way he has a huge grin on his face as he rests his chin on his right fist. The teacher claimed my attention again.

" Thank you, Yukino. Go take a seat. Next to Gray is empty."

And he points at Natsu's half naked friend. Why do I have to sit next to a half naked weirdo? As I hessitantly took my place, a blue haired girl turns around in front of me with a look that could kill.

"Looove rival.." she whispered eerily.

 _'What the hell?'_

Gray sighed next to me.

"Never mind Juvia. She is obsessed with me for some reason."

He paused.

"Unfortunately."

What kind of weird ass school is this really? I tried to ignore the fact that this school is obviously full of crazy people and focussed on my Mathemathics. I've always been fairly good at it, so it wasn't hard for me.

The rest of the day goes by reasonably. I have to introduce myself in basically every class, because there is so much optional classes to take. The normal classes is always with the same people though. Good to know I'll be stuck with half naked Gray, obsessed Juvia and rockstar Gajeel most of the time. I notice Gajeel, Jellal and Lucy are in my music class too, and Jellal is also in art class. So, for the time being I had some familiar faces to cling to. As long as they don't get too familiar.

Music class was the best class of my first day. It was held in a huge auditorium and almost every seat was taken. That was a good thing with choir singing, but not so good with solo performances. Too much audience. But ofcourse our music teacher, Ms Kinana, decided a solo performance was the best way to introduce myself, as she said

"Music is the reflection of ones soul."

After she greeted me, and welcomed me to her class, she demanded the students attention, wich they immediately gave her, even though I was sure some students were older than she was.

"Class. This is Yukino. Lets greet her like we do with all new students."

And like she gave a sign, the auditorium erupted in singing, as the students sang hi to me. It was childish, but they sounded like angels and I got goosebumps head to toe , just listening to it. And ofcourse I was massively emberassed.

"Eh. Hi."

O good. I managed to stutter something comprehensible, how nice.

Ms Kinana turned towards me.

"It's a custom that new students introduce themselves by playing or singing a song of choice. You can choose any instrument you want, and take all the time you want. Your introduction should be clear and void of stress."

I grimassed.

"I'm not really relaxed at the thought of a solo performance."

"Ghihihi, newbie is scared. "

I blushed as red as Erza's hair as Ms Kinana corrected him.

"Silence Gajeel. I do not allow this kind of nonsense from you."

Determined to show Gajeel a piece of my abbilities, I headed straight for the piano. I hadn't played a real one in years, but the sound of every key was carved into my memory. I adjusted the seat and pressed a few keys, to see if it was tuned, wich ofcourse it was, and took a deep breath.

 _'Calm down Serena. No reason to be anxious.'_

I saw Gajeel sit up straight , paying attention, like he was actually curious what I was going to play.

My left hand pressed the first chords and my right hand quickly followed. My heartbeat slowed down as I started to play the first movement of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. It had allways been my favorite piece. Even though the first movement reflected my sadness and darkness, I was happy I was still able to play this.

As the students listened in silence, and my performance echoed trough the auditorium, a little man quietly walked in, accompanied by Mirajane. They took two of the few empty seats in the front and listened, as I moved on to the second movement. This part was a bit quicker, even though it was still mysterious, and I could allways imagine fairies dancing in the moonlight as I played. This was my happy place. The place I fled to when my father...

I pounded the keys as I moved on to the third and last movement fluently. Although this was suposed to sound a little happier, I couldn't help but make it sound angry, like the monster of my nightmares had chased the fairies away and left nothing but darkness. I felt my eyebrows furrow in anger, as my foot pressed the pedal in a steady pace, and I bopped my head to the rythm, while my hands danced on the keys. This sounded way more agressive than it should be, but this was the only way I had ever been able to play this. Had I been angry al this time? This long?

My left hand flew up in the air after hitting the last key, and I noticed I was sweating and panting. I thought about my performance, replaying it in my mind. I made more than a few mistakes, but after all it had been more than five years ago, since I last played the piano. That third movement was still too angry though.

My selfreflection was interupted by slow, polite applauding. Maybe my performance was worse than I thought, or they just didn't like classical music. I looked up as Ms Kinana walked towards me.

"That was very impressive. Beethoven is really difficult to play."

I smirked.

" Try Chopin."

I heard an allready familiar giggle at my deadpanned reply, and shot Gajeel an angry glare. To my surprise he actually looked impressed. Until he saw my angry glare that is. Ofcourse that only amused him, and he gave me a wide mischievous grin in return. Annoying, arrogant..

"I would love to hear you play Chopin,"

Ms Kinana interupted our exchange, completely oblivious to it.

"About that third movement though. Was that suposed to sound so angry? "

Miss Kinana looked at me curiously, and she wasn't the only one. I slowly got up, so I was at eye level. Sort of at least, because she was a bit shorter.

"No , it wasn't. But that's the only way I've ever been able to play that part."

Ms Kinana frowned, surprised or worried, I couldn't really tell.

Behind her the little old man and Mirajane got on the stage and Ms Kinana turned to face them, bowing politely.

"Headmaster Dreyar. Mira."

Gesturing at me she inquiered,

"I guess you came to see our new student?"

Motioning me forward she introduced me to the old man, who appeared to be the headmaster. He smiled at me gently, wich such a glee look in his eyes, I felt my chest swell with warmth. I liked this man.

"Welcome Yukino. Your performance was brilliant. I hope you'll be able to develop your talents more, or maybe discover some new talents, hm?"

I nodded.

"Yes sir, thank you."

He smiled at me again.

"If there is anything we can do for you, please. Do not hesitate to come to me or Mira, allright?"

I nodded again, knowing I would never tell them what I needed most.

I could see Mr Dreyar wanted to say something more, but he was interupted by the brisk opening of the auditorium door, an Natsu barging in.

"Oy, gramps! Laxus is losing his temper with one of the youngsters again, and Elfman and Freed

can hardly hold him back!"

The headmasters face turned dark.

"That boy.."

I wasn't sure if he meant this Laxus or Natsu, calling him gramps. He wasn't really his grandson was he? The headmaster turned to Mirajane.

"You see if you can handle that out of control boyfriend of yours eh?"

Mirajane blushed, but nodded and left, Natsu running ahead of her. I looked at them leaving, completely surprised. Mira's boyfriend sounded a bit short tempered, and Mira was so gentle. How did those two end up together? Once again my thoughts were interupted, this time by the headmaster.

"You'll have to excuse me. My grandson causes quite a storm sometimes, when one of the younger kids starts complaining, or crying. We'll have to talk another time."

And with that, he too left the auditorium, just when the schoolbell rang to signal the end of this class, and time for the next.

 **A/N :Please read my other story too : Diner is served.**

 **I hope you like this chapter. I know there's a lot of background stuff now, but it is needed for my plot. please leave a review**

 **thanks!**


	3. Invaded

**A/N : Warning: This chapter is a bit...edgy. I'm not going over the top, and definitely not getting too descriptive( gotta obey the rules after all) but, a paticular scene in this chapter might be mildly shocking.**

 **CH. 3: Invaded**

As the last schoolbell rings to signal the end of the day, I tiredly grab my backpack, and slowly leave the building. I hear someone running behind me, so I automatically step aside to let whoever it is trough. But instead of passing by, the runner stops, and before I can turn around to look, two strong, warm arms lift me off the ground. I start screaming at the top of my lungs, and with a shock I'm put back down on my feet. The guy's hands-'cause it's obviously a guy- slip from the impact, and one of them ends up just below my breast. Feeling my fathers touch from this morning, I whirl around, as I push the guy away, before I slap him in the face as hard as I can. I see Natsu looking at me in shock and disbelieve as his left cheek turns red, and Lucy comes running towards us.

"What? OH! Natsu, what'd you do?"

She turns towards me.

"What did he do?"

I ignore her, staring at Natsu completely infuriated.

"Stay away from me. If you ever touch me again, I swear I will seriously hurt you."

My voice sounds low and icecold. A voice in the back of my head tells me I'm overreacting, but I'm trembling with a sudden strike of disgust and fear, and I don't want them to see how scared I am. Natsu actually looks hurt at my words.

"I'm sorry,"

He mumbles.

"I just wanted to goof around a bit."

I stare at him in dead silence, as I notice people looking at us. It seems Lucy finally understands what happened, because out of nowhere she starts scolding Natsu.

"You lift her up in the air, didn't you?"

Natsu nods, lowering his gaze.

"I told you not to do that with everyone. Not everyone likes that. And especially not new girls. They have to get used to your weirdness."

Natsu nods again. I'm getting tired and fed up with this, and turn around to walk away. And once again, I stand face to face with Gajeel.

 _'Now what?'_

Gajeel looks over my head to Natsu and grins.

"Quite a slap you gave him. You must really hate to be touched, or you just don't like him."

He glares down at me.

"So, what is it that made you slap him?"

I feel a flush of heat shooting up to my face, thinking about the real cause of all this. If it wasn't for HIM! I stare up at Gajeel, my face angry.

"None of your damn bussiness! Now move!"

His facial expression changes, but I can't make out what this expression is. Either way he steps aside, and I march off the school grounds , as my eyes start to burn with tears.

 _'Don't cry!'_

I slam the door shut behind me. I don't even have the chance to check if my father is home, because he opens the door to the living room, looking at me furiously.

"What's with that door slamming? Can't you close it in a normal manner?"

I rudely ignore him and walk straight past him, without even looking at him. I know that will piss him off, but honestly, I don't really care right now. Let him beat me up. And as I think that, something hard hits the back of my head. I fall over, catching myself on my hands, almost hitting my head on the coffee table. I get up and turn to face him, barely in time to dodge his next punch. I raise my arms to defend myself, cursing myself for leaving my pocketknife in my room. My father just gives me an evil grin.

"Oh? So now you want to fight huh? You think you can handle your old man? Well, come on then. Hit me little bitch!"

I lower my fists as he finishes speaking.

"What a joke! You're giving up already? No wonder that lousy whore you used to call mother , abandoned you."

And then I snap. I lunge at him with all my strength and punch him in the face as hard as I can.

 _'Stupid.'_

I know this is stupid.I'm not strong enough to fight him. I don't know why I even tried. I wasn't thinking. Either way, he stumbles back a few steps and looks at me in shocked surprise, as I look at him.

"It is no wonder my mother left a piece of trash like YOU. _Father."_

I emphasise the last word on purpose, my voice dripping with sarcasm, and I see insanity flicker in my fathers eyes.

 _'I shouldn't have said that.'_

My fathers anger grows visibly, making him look like a devil.

"You dirty little slut. I'll get you for that."

As he says those words, I realise this was his plan, even before I came home. He needs to have his way with me again. When that realisation hits me, my anger fades and is immidiately replaced by cold fear.

"L-Leave me alone!"

I try to sound strong, but my fear causes me to stutter, making him smile like a demon as he comes walking my way. I step away from him, backing up as he comes closer.

"N-No! Please, dad. Please don't."

I know. I know I shouldn't be begging. I should be screaming for help. Run, fight, anything. But the look in his eyes paralizes my senses, and all I can do is back up. My legs touch the couch, and losing my balance, I fall to the seat. The next second I'm pinned down by my father, my hands pinned above my head, his right knee pushing between my legs. I flinch and try to get away from him, but to no avail. He is too strong, and my struggling only amuses him. He chuckles and gets his face close to mine.

"That's right. Struggle all you want. It wouldn't be fun if you didn't."

I feel panic shoot across my face, when he starts to undo his belt. I twist and turn trying to avoid what I already know to be unavoidable. His right hand still holds both of my wrists pinned above my head, as he lays me down on the couch , using his left hand to unbutton and unzip my jeans. Tears started dripping down my face, and he smirked.

"You know I love it when you cry. You're such a good girl, you know exactly how to please your old man."

He bursts out laughing at my distressed face, as I use all my willpower to stop crying. At least I won't give him that sattisfaction. He roughly pulls down my jeans and my panties in one go, and gets on top of me, leaving me nothing to do but whimper in agony as he starts raping me.

He pulls up his pants and fastens his belt, looking back at me in disgust.

" You know nobody will ever want a slut like you, don't you?"

I silently nod , straightening my clothes and rubbing my wrists. I hear his weight shift, but can only look up in time to see his punch coming. It hits me straight in the face, knocking me off the couch, onto the floor. He stands over me as I push myself up on one elbow, rubbing my left cheek.

"If you ever tell anyone, I promise, this will be nothing compared to what I'll do then."

He pauses, looking down on me.

"I'll fucking kill you! You hear?"

When I don't respond fast enough to his liking, he kicks me in the side.

"Did you hear me?"

I moaned in agony, crawling away from him.

"Yes! Yes, I heard you!", I screamed back at him.

He pulls me to my feet by my hair, clenching his hand around my neck and pushing me against the wall, choking me.

"You'd better keep your mouth shut wench."

I manage to whisper something incomprehensible in agreement, and he lets go, dropping me to the floor, leaving me gasping for air.

"I'll be out for diner. Fix yourself something. Or starve, I don't give a fuck."

And he leaves. He knows he can leave me alone, without having to worry about me going to the police. He has ensured me more than once it would be his word against mine, and there was no way anyone would believe me. Apart from suïcide, I have nowhere to go, and he knows that.

I go upstairs, almost crawling up the stairs, my side hurting from his kick. I manage to get to my room, and start undressing in the dark. I need to take a shower. I feel so dirty and like a piece of trash. I must be, being deviled by him. I pick my clothes up to put them in the laundrymachine, but when I switch on the light in the bathroom, I see a small bloodstain on my shirt. Shocked I look down at my side.

"Damnit!"

There's a small cut on my side, surrounded by an ugly bruise. That son of a bitch caused me to bleed. Again. I examine the cut, wich is not too serious. It already stopped bleeding. I clean my side, and turn the shower on. As I let the water get warm, I look at myself in the mirror. My left cheek Is black and blue, and my neck is also starting to show some colored spots . Seems like I'll have to cover myself up tomorrow. And just after summer break too. It will be way to warm to wear a scarf or a high colared shirt, without drawing attention.

"Damn you."

I get under the shower, and start washing myself top to bottom, making sure I remove all his leftover cum from between my legs.

 _'Filthy rat. If I wasn't on birthcontrol, I'd end up getting pregnant with my fathers child.'_

I shiver at the mere thought and possibility. What would I do if that happened? Would abortion be an option? It feels wrong to kill something that didn't even get a fair chance at life. After all, it wouldn't be it's fault. I shake my head. What am I thinking? I can worry about that when it actually happens, no need to stress myself out more.

As I dry myself off, I decide to go to sleep without dinner. There is no way I can eat feeling like this. My body hurts so much I probably wouldn't even make it down the stairs anyway. And I feel so sick to my stomach, it's not even worth trying.

I crawl into bed, groaning and cursing as my body makes it almost impossible to lie down comfortably. I end up lying on my right side, staring at the moon trough my window. It's so lonely in it's grace and brightness. But even the moon is surrounded by stars, keeping it company. I suddenly feel so completely lost and lonely, my eyes start to burn again. I try to hold them back; I don't want to cry. But I can not hold back any longer. I surrender to my sadness and misery with a loud , agonized howl, and start screaming into my pillow untill I black out.

The next morning my troath hurts like I've been eating sandpaper, and my eyes are swollen from crying in my sleep. I carefully get up, my body sore and stiff from the beating my father gave me. I manage to stumble to the bathroom again, turn on the light, and look at myself in the mirror again. The left side of my face is mostly covered with a sickening purple bruise.

 _'You damn son of a bitch.'_

How am I going to cover this up? My troath hurts like hell, so I think I can get away with saying I have a bit of a flu, and wear a scarf to hide the fingerprints on my neck, pretending I'm trying not to get any sicker. The same excuse should get me clear from fysical exercise class today. But this bruise in my face is difficult. I don't use much make-up normally, so it will definitely draw attention if I do. But just a little won't be enough.

I decide do get dressed first, and then I try to cover up the bruise in my face as good as I can. When I'm done I hardly regonise myself, but I'd rather draw attention for wearing to much make-up, than answer questions about that hideous bruise. I go downstairs, pack lunch and get ready for school. My father isn't even home. Either he already left for work, or he never came home last night in the first place. I hope he got drunk and drowned himself. After all, if he had been in a car accident, I would have heard about it by now. As I close the front door, I take a deep breath.

 _'Please God. Do not let them see the bruise.'_

And off I go.


	4. Denial

**A/N: Sorry it took so long. My mind is overflowing with ideas for lots of different stuff at the moment, and it's difficult to put everything in the right place**

 **CH. 4 : Denial**

When I arrive at shool, Natsu and Lucy are standing at the entrance, waiting. As soon as Lucy sees me, she pokes Natsu in the side, whispering something to him. Obviously they were waiting for me. I approach them calmly. I should probably apologize for slapping Natsu yesterday. I know he didn't intend to hurt me. Slapping him was just a reflex really.

"Morning Lucy. Natsu."

I want to apologize to Natsu but he beats me to it.

"I'm sorry for lifting you up and scaring you yesterday."

He kind of blurts it out, like he's emberassed with the whole thing, and stares at the floor. I'm a bit taken aback really.

"Uh. You know...Natsu. I...you just scared me. I'm sorry for hitting you. It was a reflex."

I pause, thinking that last part sounds like a lame excuse to hit people.

"I...I just don't like being touched. Like that I mean. Thrown in the air and such."

I hastily correct my first sentence. I don't want them to think I'm weird for not liking to be touched. Natsu looks at me a tad confused, but simply holds out his hand with a small box in it.

"Huh? What is this?"

I'm not sure if I'm suposed to take it from him or not, but Natsu makes it easy for me. He looks up to my confused face, gently takes my hand and puts the box in my palm.

"Chocolates. To make up and say sorry. Y'know. Lucy said girls like chocolate."

He shrugs, blushing and looking away again. Lucy just stands behind him, watching our small conversation. I already thought she told him to do this.

"Thank you Natsu."

I try to be as friendly as possible, without giving him the idea he can lift me again.

"I appreciate this a lot. You really shouldn't have. Just...don't lift me up like that again, ok?"

Lucy stares at me intensely.

"You sure put some effort in your make-up today."

I can't help but flinch a little at her remark. I knew it would be too much.

"It looks good on you."

Oh. Allright then. That wasn't too bad. I let out a huge sigh of relieve; apparently I was holding my breath. Maybe today won't be as bad as I thought.

"What happened to your voice though? You sound awfull."

I'm so glad I already thought of an excuse.

"I guess I got a bit of a cold overnight. Just a sore troath nothing else."

 _'Liar.'_

...

The first few hours are all standard classes, and this time I end up next to Juvia for the first hour. She meets me with an angry glare.

" You better not be putting that much effort into your make-up to impress Gray-Sama."

Ugh. Really?

I stare back at her a bit flustered, and decide to just give it to her straight and make my case clear.

"Listen up. Juvia, was it? I have no interest whatsoever in a guy who can barely dress himself properly if he goes to school. Besides, I've only known everyone here for a day, I'm not really looking for a boyfriend. So by all means, please take him. You can have him."

 _'If he wants you.'_

Juvia blinks a few times, and then gives me a really cute smile. That was unexpected.

"Allright then. Then I don't have to hate you."

"Too bad you're not looking for a boyfriend, _Baby!_ I would definitely volunteer for that."

I turn in my seat as I hear an unfamiliar guy's chuckle. Before me is a strange looking guy, with a blue mohawk sort of thing on his head and a weird birthmark between his eyes, that actually looks like a person. He winks at me, while sticking out his long tongue. And my God, his tongue is tattooed.

"Maybe another day, _Baby!_ "

He walks to the back of the class, taking a seat.

"Who...?"

I am so completely struck with surprise, I can't even put together a normal sentence.

"That's Bickslow. He's crazy."

I look at Juvia, sweatdropping at her explaination.

 _'Oh, right. And you're not.'_

"Looks to me like everyone here is crazy."

Juvia doesn't answer, but a familiar pair of arms suddenly rest on my desk. I didn't even notice Gajeel was sitting in front of me.

"You sound terrible today, newbie."

He looks at my face, obviously astounded by the amount of make-up I put on. His gaze rests at my scarf.

"Sick?"

I nod in silence, staring at his pierced arms. His upper arms must be as wide as my upper legs. He must be really strong.

"Could you remove your arms?"

He, surprisingly, does what I ask him,still staring at my face. His eyes narrow, focused on my cheek. Without saying anything, he turns back around, turning his back on me. Once again this day, I sigh in relieve. I was sure he saw the bruise. But he didn't say anything, so I supose he didn't notice after all.

...

Ofcourse, I was relieved too early. When the bell rings to signal the end of the last of our standard classes for today, he stops me on my way out. I look up at him, a bit anxious.

"What do you want, punk?"

I intentionally add the nickname, trying to hide that he scares me, and that I'm really nervous right now. Gajel frowns.

"What's with the bruise? You put so much make-up on your face, it's pretty hard NOT to notice you tried to cover it up."

He sounds a bit harsh, but the fact that he's asking...Is he worried? It makes me think he might not be the bad guy I thought he was.

"I fell down the stairs at home."

I lie to him smoothly. I've practiced this lie a lot in my mind, just in case someone might see it. And I got pretty used to making up excuses for my bruises over these past years. Gajeel raised a pierced eyebrow at my lie. Maybe it wasn't that smooth. He looks at me, scanning me top to bottom. What is he looking at?

...

(Gajeels POV)

I can tell she's lying. It doesn't sound sincere at all. Matched with the scarf...It looks too familiar to me. I scan her top to bottom, looking for other signs, but I can't find them. Apart from the fact that she's wearing a long sleeved shirt while it's warm outside, there seems to be nothing wrong. And if she is sick, she might be feeling cold, explaining the long why is my gut telling me something IS wrong? I already had that feeling yesterday. For a seventeen year old girl she is way too skiddish and jumpy. Like, she's scared of something. Judging by the look on her face, she's pretty scared of me too.

"If you're done talking, it would be great if you let me pass."

Her voice sounds firm. Too firm. She's trying so hard to hide her fear. I step aside to let her pass, and she passes me like she's running for her life. When she's a few steps away from me, I can't resist the urge to say something.

"Newbie?"

She unwillingly looks over her shoulder.

"Try not to 'fall down the stairs' again, huh?"

I make sure to put extreme emphasis on her obvious lie and watch her eyes pop wide open as she realises I know she was lying to me just now. She lied. But why? What is she hiding really?

...

I pass Mirajane's office, and before I even realise it, I open the door without knocking.

"Mira?"

Mira looks up with a demonic shine to her eyes, that's scary enough to even make me shiver.

"Hasn't anybody thought you to knock?" she complains.

Geez, that's why she makes that face?

"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Knock, knock. It's not like Laxus is banging you on the desk, or anything. I need to talk to you."

She blushes at my remark as I close the door and walk to her desk, hands in my puts her pen down, and looks at me with surprise. I don't usually talk to her.

"What is it, Gajeel?"

She still sounds annoyed over my knocking, or maybe it's about my sex remark, but she's curious enough to listen. Or just politely doing her job.

"The new girl. What do you know about her?"

Mira blinks, dumbstruck by my question. My God. Just answer woman. I don't like to repeat myself.

"Why do you want to know?"

Oh, she recovered her brain. I shrug. I don't know really. Maybe I'm seeing things. Although she obviously lied about falling down the stairs.

"She has a bruise on her face, covered up by an inch of make-up. She claims she fell down the stairs, but I could tell she was lying to me."

Mira folds her hands, and puts them on the desk. Her face is deadserious right now.

"You think she got the bruise somewhere else."

It's not a question, she's just stating a fact. So I nod in silence.

"Gajeel, if I may ask: What do you think happened to her?"

Bloody hell, how can one person be so scary and kind and gentle?

"I don't know. Whatever. Nevermind."

I turn around and leave the office to get to my next class. How was I suposed to explain the new girl reminds me of HER?

...

(Yukino's POV)

 _'He knows! He knows I lied! O, God. What if he tells anyone? What if they go talk to my father? I'll be in trouble. Worse. I'll be dead.'_

My breathing comes out in short gasps, and as I bend over , out of breath, I feel my heartbeat shooting up as I start to panic. My right hand reaches down my pocket to grab my pocketknife, as my left hand starts loosening my scarf, trying to make breathing easier.

 _'Calm yourself. You can't start cutting yourself at school. That would be a one way ticket to the shrink.'_

I try to control my breathing, but it's hard.

"Yukino."

I look sideways to see Erza and Jellal. They rush over and Erza kneels in front of me, since I'm still bent over, completely out of breath.

"I'm ok!"

Yeah, that was convincing. Not.

"Slow. Look at me. In. And slowly breathe out."

Erza starts showing me what to do, and even though I know, It doesn't work on my own, so Erza is actually helping. I focus on her face, trying to match my breathing to hers. She glances at Jellal.

"Go get the school nurse."

"No!"

Before I realise it I grab Jellals wrist to stop him from leaving. Looking down on me in pity, he gently pulls my fingers off his wrist.

"Yukino, this isn't normal."

"Yes it is. I've had it since childhood. It's .."

I quickly try to come up with something.

"Asthma."

Both Jellal and Erza raise their eyebrows in disbelieve. I can't even blame them. Even I could hear how false that sounded. I really have to get better at lying, cause this won't do.

"It's fine. I'm already feeling better. There's absolutely no reason to go to the nurse."

I smile at them in an attempt to convince them as I get back up straight, making Erza stand up straight again too.

"What about your neck?"

Jellal's calm question feels like a cold shower to me and I freeze on the spot, tightening the scarf on my neck to hide the black and blue fingerprints my father left.

"It's nothing."

"Yukino, that's not.."

"I said it was nothing!"

I don't want to shout at them. But they just have to quit asking. They look at eachother and shrug.

"Allright , Yukino."

"If you say so."

And they walk down the hallway together, leaving me leaning against the wall. Good thing I don't have any extra classes right now. I don't feel like going to class, and not like studying either. So I just start to walk around, trying to get to know the way around in this huge school.

 **A/N : Thanks for reading again. Next chapter coming up soon! please review!**


	5. Fight!

**A/N: As you can see I added this chapter the same day as the previous one. I thought I would have too much for one chapter, so I split it up. Enjoy!**

 **CH: 5 Fight!**

As I walk around, a metallic sound draws my attention. Curious. I walk in the direction of the sound , finding a classroom that looks like a blacksmith's, with the door slightly open. There's so much warmth coming from the workplace, I can feel it at the door. Slowly, I push the door open a little more to peek inside. It is a blacksmith's workplace. I can see students of different ages hammering on metal, melting iron in an oven , or solder small parts together.

"This school has a blacksmith class?"

"Indeed."

A mean voice sounds behind me. Before I can turn around to see who it is, he pushes the door wide open, slamming it to the wall, grabbing my wrist, pulling me inside along with him.

"If you want to have a look, just look!"

He directs his attention to the students, who all stare at us at this point.

"Look here guys! We got ourselves a handsome, cute little peeping Tom."

He pulls my arm again, holding it above my head, so I slam into him. He keeps me pressed against his body close, grabbing my chin forcefully, forcing me to look at him. The first thing I see is the mean look in his eye, and the fact that's it only one eye looking at me. He keeps the other one closed, God knows why. He makes me feel terrified.

"Well well, princess. It looks to me like you're scared. I love the look of fear on a womans face."

"Lemmy go!"

I start struggling with all my might, but just like with my father, it's no use.

 _'No!'_

"I said: Let me go!"

I pull back my free hand and punch him in the jaw. He lets go and steps back, rubbing his jaw.

"That actually hurt a bit, little viper."

Instead of the anger I expected, he looks amused and surprised. Not for long though, because another punch hits him straight in the face, knocking him to the floor. And that wasn't me. It was Gajeel. I didn't even notice him before. But now he's standing right next to me, giving the guy on the floor a nasty look.

"She told you to let go, Cobra."

What kind of name is that?

"Cobra? "

The question escapes me before I can stop myself.

"His name is Eric,but everyone calls him Cobra, because his house is full of venomous snakes."

Gajeel explains without taking his eyes of Cobra , who is getting back to his feet.

"He is actually immune to most of the venom, by injecting small amounts of it into his own veins. By increasing the amount of venom over time, he built a strong resistance against most of those snakes' venom."

I took a step away from the Snakeboy.

"Ew! Why?"

I'm totally grossed out by the idea of any human injecting venom into his veins for fun. Cobra smiles, brushing off the dirt on his clothes.

"It's an experiment. But very usefull actually. A few weeks ago I got bitten by one of my Black Mamba's. Lethal to any human, but not to me. My arm was swollen for a day though."

He grins, and that kind of makes him look a bit nicer, but I still don't like him.

"And well, if you ever got bitten, I might be the only antidote you've got princess. I would love to exchange bodyfluids with you."

It seem like the universe is trying to make me uncomfortable with gross remarks. I know there is absolutely no way he's attracted to me, guys are just sexually frustrated he smiles at me in a way I guess is meant to be seducing, Gajeel steps in front of me, forcing Cobra to back up a little.

"Back off , Snake!"

Is he...protecting me? But why?

"Just leave her alone. If she wants to look, she can."

"Whatever, Metalface."

"What was that?"

The two guys are basically touching foreheads, as a tall blond, young man enters the workplace. He has a lightening shaped scar on his face.

"Something wrong gentlemen?"

Cobra backs up, crosses his arms in front of him and glares at the tall blonde out of the corner of his eye. He shrugs.

"Nothing. I was just having fun and Gajeel didn't like it."

The tall blonde eyes Gajeel, raising his eyebrows at him without saying anything.

"He was hurting the new girl."

Now the tall guy sees me.

"You're not in this class."

"Uhm. No sir. I heard sounds, and got curious. I just wanted to take a look, but Cobra pushed me inside. I'm sorry, I'll go."

"It's fine. I'm Laxus Dreyar. A teacher in fact, although I might not look the part. Cobra, get working on your project."

He looks back at me while Cobra gets to his working station. So this is the headmasters grandson and Mira's boyfriend? I supose he's handsome, but he seems tough.

"You can look, but stay out of the students way. Some things are dangerous."

I nod and mumble a thanks, and start looking around the workplace. There's a little blue haired girl, who's long hair is tied up into two tails. Next to her is a boy, approximately her age, who assists her with whatever she solders together. Cobra is in the far back corner, putting on a jacket and shoving something into hot coals.

"Come."

Gajeel carefuly takes my arm, and leads me to another corner, where there's another oven, and an open fireplace with hot coals. On an anvil is a piece of metal and a blacksmith's hammer, while on a wooden counter there's a bellows. Gajeel leads me to a stool on the side, with a good look on everything he's working on.

"Sit here."

He pushes me down on the stool, and gets to his anvil, picking up the metal and the hammer, putting the piece of metal in the hot coals. I watch him intently, curious about what he wants to make. He looks at the metal and then looks at me.

"Get me the bellows, will you?"

I jolt up, and look around. Oh right, the counter. I get the bellows and hold it out to him. He gives me an amused smile.

"I only got two hands, clever girl. You do it."

I stare at him dumbounded. Me? But I'm not in this class. I don't know what to do. Gajeel catches on quickly. He gestures with his head for me to come closer. Hesitantly I step closer, looking at him interrogatively.

"Put the tip slightly under the coals, and push both grips together to make it blow air. Gently. We don't want the coals to burst into flames now."

I nod. We? I do as he says, and blow a bit of air underneath the coals, making them glow bright, sending some small sparks up into the air. It looks so pretty. The metal in the coals starts to glow red.

"Back up, cupcake."

He puts the metal on the anvil and starts hitting it with the hammer, producing the metallic sound I heard earlier.

"Cupcake?"

"You look too sweet, newbie. That's why guys like Cobra and Bickslow start teasing you. It's easy to make you uncomfortable. You almost shat your pants when you met me yesterday."

He gives me a quick look, as I blush at his truthfull words.

"I know I look a bit rough. And honestly I don't mind if people are afraid of me. Doesn't mean I would hurt you."

He hesitates.

"If you don't want to tell where you got that bruise, it's fine. But don't lie about it. Just say you don't want to talk about it. Bellows please."

As I start blowing oxigen into the coals again, I nervously glare at him.

"So what do I do the keep guys like Cobra at distance then?"

I can't believe I'm asking him this.

"You fight, newbie. Become stronger so you can defend yourself. Considering the punch you gave Cobra, I know you got potential. But apparently not enough to prevent yourself from getting bruised. You in selfdefense class?"

I nod.

"Yes, and I've signed up for martial arts too."

He chuckles.

"One spicey cupcake. In martial arts class, group up with Jellal and Erza. Natsu and Gray are good too, but they won't be good enough to teach you. When it comes to selfdefense..."

He sighs, glancing sideways at me, as he puts the metal on the anvil again.

"Would you mind sparring with me? I can handle pain, so you can hit and kick me as hard as you want. And if you can defend yourself against me, you should be able to handle..."

He hesitates again, likes he's carefully picking his words, wich seems very unlike him.

"You should be able to handle most guys then."

I know he wanted to say something else. But it doesn't matter. He wants to help me get stronger. But can I trust him? I want to trust. I really do. I want to make friends, and I know I can't be scared of guys for the rest of my life. And he's right. If I can handle him, I can handle my dad too.

"I'll think about it. First selfdefense class is in two days. I'll tell you then."

He nods and goes back to his metal. When the red glow is gone, he puts it in the coals again, untill it glows red again, and starts hammering it again. He repeats this several times, smoothening out the metal into a one handlength, slim object.

"What are you making?"

I can't hold my curiosity any longer. And that seems to please him. Even though he's focused on his work and doesn't look at me, I can see a kind smile on his face. The first kind smile I've seen from him.

"It's a knife. Not too big. Something you could hide in your sleeve. It still needs a lot of work though."

"Indeed. Folding the metal, making it soft over and over, so it won't break if you use it."

Laxus scares the crap out of me, and I almost jump sideways.

"You're lucky Gajeel lets you observe his work. He's the best here, when it comes to metal. And he hardly lets anyone observe him. Maybe he can pursuade you to join huh?"

Laxus grins and continues walking over to one of the younger kids. I can hear him lecture one of them, and after that he scolds Cobra for slacking off. The bell rings, and everyone starts cleaning up their stuff. When we leave the workplace to go to the cafeteria to have lunch, Gajeel walks next to me. It feels different than the way he showed me the way to class yesterday.

"Selfdefense class. Think about it."

When I nod in silence, he leaves and walks somewhere I can't see him anymore.

...

The rest of the day and the next pass in peace. Even my father doesn't bother me, wich is usual. After he uses me, he usually leaves me alone for a while. But on the day of my first selfdefense class, he stops me in the hallway again, when I'm getting ready to leave.

"How is school?"

That is odd. He never cared about school.

"It's good. I like it."

He nods, a strange look in his eyes as he asks the next question.

"Made friends yet?"

What is this about? I shrug, my face blank.

"Not 's some nice girls, but nothing close yet."

He shoves me up against the wall suddenly, making me whimper in pain as he squeezes my upper arms.

"And you better keep it that way. I don't want anyone coming over for whatever. You're not going to parties or sleepovers. I don't know if this school has a prom, but if a guy asks you, you say no, understood? I'm tired of moving around because teachers start asking me about those bruises. You better be covering them up."

I nod, holding back my tears.

"Get out."

...

When I arrive at school, my first thought is to go to the girls toilets and wash my make-up off. This is the limit. I don't want to move around anymore. I won't tell anyone about my father, but I'm done with being his puppet.

As I leave the toilets, I bump into Lucy and Juvia, accompanied by an other blue haired, pixie like girl I haven't met before.

"Oh, 'morning Yukino. Wow! You have a huge bruise on your face."

The three girls stare at me in shock.

"Don't worry. It was an you seen Gajeel? I need him."

Now they're even more shocked. The little blue haired pixie clears her troath.

"I think he just arrived. I saw him park his motorcycle a few minutes ago."

I mumble a thanks and run off to the entrance, immediately spotting his black hair.

"Gajeel!"

Gajeel turns around in surprise.

"You're sure glad to see me."

I sigh. Why can't he just say hi?

"Cut the nonsense. You . Me. Selfdefense. Teach me to fight."

If he wasn't surprised already, he sure would be now. Recovering quickly, he nods.

"You're on, fireball."

...

The first few hours seem to go by so slow as I'm counting down to selfdefense class. I'm excited , but also scared. I want to become stronger, and fight. But it means I might have to let Gajeel touch me, and that turns my stomach upside down.

 _'Deal with it. You have to get trough this.'_

Finally the bell rings, and I run out of the classroom to get ready for selfdefense. I brought wristbands to hide the bruises on my wrists, wich are already turning green. I put consealer on my neck. Even though I washed of the make-up on my face, the bruises on my neck are too obvious. As I change into my gym clothes, I notice my upper arms have blue fingerprints from this morning. Luckily my sleeves are just long enough to cover them up.

I enter the training hall, and Gajeel comes my way.

"Ready?"

I nod, but I can't stop my hands from shaking, and he sees it.

"I'll take it easy on you today ok? Just basic moves."

I nod again, and he tells me to follow him onto a mat. I know this is to prevent us from hurting ourselves while sparring, in case we end up wrestling on the ground, but actually I don't care. I won't have that at he teaches me some basic punches, allowing me to practice them on him, he tries to make me block his punches. When he's satisfied, he tells me he wants to teach me to counter attacks from behind, reassuring me he won't be too hard on me. Gajeel grabs my left upper arm to put me in the right place and I yelp.

"OW!"

He looks down at me. It's the bruises from this morning; Gajeel barely touched me, and he realises that fully well. He steps closer, untill he's right in front of me, stares into my eyes for a second and then carefully pulls up my sleeve. Gritting his teeth together, he slowly puts his hands on the marks, matching his fingers on the prints.

"For fucks sake Yukino."


	6. Nightmare revealed

**Ch: 6 : The Nightmare revealed.**

I tried to pull my arm back, but Gajeel wouldn't let go. He kept staring at the bruises.

"Please, Gajeel. Let me go." I begged him.

"Who did this?"

His voice was cold, and he looked me in the eye, piercing trough me, staring straight into my soul it seemed.

"It must be a dude. No girl would have left those marks. Who is doing this to you?"

"Please, let go."

He reluctantly let go, still staring at me. He crossed his arms, obvioulsy irritated with the way I avoided answering him. I pulled down my sleeve, averting my eyes. I just couldn't look at him. He would see the answer in my eyes, and he wasn't suposed to know. I would get in trouble.

"It's nothing Gajeel. Just some annoying guy."

He snorted. Obviously he didn't believe me. Again. But I didn't want him to be involved. I wanted to get out of this on my own. And if my dad found out Gajeel saw these bruises, I'd be dead for sure.

"Just. Can we please continue training?"

I hesitantly looked up at Gajeel, who almost looked at me angry.

"You're training to fight the guy doing this?"

His eyes demanded an answer this time. There was no avoiding this question, and I knew that if I wanted him to help me, I should at least tell him that. So I nodded.

"Yes. I want to do this myself. I don't want to depend on others to save me. I want to become stronger and faster, so I'll be able to protect and defend myself. And that's why I need your help. If I can handle you, I can handle him."

Gajeel relaxed a bit. He obviously didn't like the idea of me fighting dudes on my own, but it seemed like he at least accepted it. He nodded.

"Fine. I can do that. But that means training hard. I will show you how to fight, defend and how to get out of some situations. First of all. Never show your opponent your pain or tears. He'll use that against you. You don't make a sound, even if he cuts you. Can you do that?"

It sounded harsh, but I needed that. And again, I nodded. And so our training began.

...

Two months passed, when nothing much happened. My bruises faded, and apart from our other lessons, Gajeel and I did a lot of selfdefense training. We didn't talk much, but that didn't seem to bother either of us. We trained, He let Jellal and Natsu show me some martial arts, and every now and then I sneaked into the blacksmith's class, helping Gajeel with his knife. The little girl, Wendy, was very good at making jewelry. Her other projects weren't that good, but her jewelry was the best. Music class was fun. It seemed the other blue haired girl, Levy, was very close to Gajeel, although he allways seemed to make fun of her. She was amazing at playing the violin and if I would have dared, I would have asked her to teach me.

My father left me alone quite a bit, to my relieve. It made it easier for me to concentrate on my school work, and I got really good grades for once. The teachers seemed to be glad with my efforts, and I was glad that i seemed to be a decent student at least. But all good things come to an end, eventually.

...

As I came home one day, I immediately noticed something was different. There was a motorcycle on the driveway, that was not my father's. And when I entered the house, I heard two male voices. Laughing. As I opened the door to the living room, two heads turned my way. The man next to my father was obviously a bit younger, somewhere in his early thirties. There were empty beer bottles on the coffee table, and they both had another bottle in their hands. I don't know how long they had been here, but considering my dad just came home from work, they had consumed a lot of beer in a short amount of time. Result? They were obviously wasted.

"There she is! My girl is finally home. Go upstairs. I got you a present."

My father surprised me with his friendly welcome, and on top of that he bought me a present? Maybe he was trying to act nice in front of his friend. Hopefully I went upstairs, to find a lovely red dress on my bed. It would show a little clevage, but it looked fine nonetheless. I decided I would try it on, to make good use of my father's good mood. Maybe, he would be nicer to me after this. After I put the dress on, I ran downstairs. Maybe I should have known it was too good to be true. But just a small part of me, hoped my father would finally love me the way he should.

I entered the livingroom again, showing my new dress to my father. He eyed me top to bottom, and smiled. His friend looked at me as well, but i didn't really like the look in his eyes. The way he looked at me made it obvious he was imagining me without this dress. Maybe it ws a bit too revealing to show off in front of a guy I never met.

"Well? What did I say, Mike? Don't I have a beautifull daughter?"

The tone of his voice send chills down my spine. Yes,I definetely shouldn't have put the dress on tonight. They were both drunk, and in their wasted eyes, I looked like a piece of candy. I panicked. I knew how to defend myself against one. But would I be able to fight off two off them?

"Well. It's hard to say with that dress on."

Mike snickered, making my hair stand on end. This was not going to end well. My father got up from the couch, coming towards me. Before I could get away from him, he already grabbed my arm. I flinched, because he hurt me, but I remembered Gajeel's words, to not make a sound, so I made sure he didn't notice. Meanwhile, Mike got up too, grinning widely as he came closer. My father pinned both of my arms behind my back, standing behind me.

"NO! Leave me alone! Both of you!"

My voice sounded confident. Gajeel had taught me that too. He told me confidence was important when defending myself. Confidence scared off the attacker or confused them. I guess that did not work with two drunks. My father firmly ordered me to shut up, and as Mike kneeled before me, reaching under my skirt to take off my panties, and my father unzipped his pants, I knew that was exactly what I would do. I would struggle to make it hard on them, but I refused to give them the pleasure of hearing me cry or scream in agony. I bit my lip when my father penetrated me from behind, causing my lip to bleed, but I didn't make a sound. When Mike got back up, and grabbed my hips so he could have his way with me, I turned away my head so I wouldn't have to look it him. This was going to be a long night.

...

The next morning I woke up on the floor in the livingroom. Apparently I passed out last night. Remembering what those basterds did to me, made me feel sick, and I quickly made my way to the toilet, throwing up everything that was in my stomach. My body ached, and I groaned in pain. How was I going to school like this? My father obviously left already, so it was certain that I was already late. But I really didn't want to be home tonight. I had to leave the house, and school was the only place to go. So I got up, went upstairs, threw away my new red dress, and changed into some more school appropriate clothing. I quickly combed my hair, and checked myself in the mirror. Good thing I didn't scream. At least my father didn't beat me up this time, so I didn't have to cover any bruises. I was slightly pale, but that was nothing serious. Nobody could read anything into that.

...

As soon as I arrived, I had a teacher coming up to me.

"A bit late, young lady? "

"Yes sir, I overslept."

The man handed me a note.

"Just this once, Agria."

I noticed there was an autograph on the note, and the note itself excused me for being late. I quickly checked my schedule. French. I hurried to the classroom, and, once inside handed my note to the teacher. She nodded, and made a gesture towards an empty seat. Right next to Gajeel. Flare was in another spot, and I just knew he had kept that chair empty in case I would show up. When I sat down, he moved his chair a bit closer.

"Why are you so late? People were getting worried."

Was he worried?

"I overslept."

I could see him looking at me.

"You didn't. You're in pain,I can see it in the way you walk. You walk like you've been assfucked."

My head snapped to the side, eyes wide open. He said what? How did he know? He couldn't possibly know! His face wen't from smiling about a bad joke to concerned. He looked at my panicked face for a second, before his eyes turned completely dark.

 _'Well done. He taught you not to show your fears and pain, and you can't even hide this from him. You're so weak.'_

Gajeel leaned in, and started whispering.

"We need to talk. After school, at the gate."

I shook my head. No way I could talk to him. I just couldn't tell him.

"Yes, we will. Something is terribly wrong, and either you tell me, or I'm telling Mira and the headmaster. And they might actually call the cops."

I looked at him, completely scared.

"I can't Gajeel. Please don't make me."

He snorted and leaned back in his chair. He wouldn't take no for an answer.

...

After the last bell rang, I rushed out of the classroom. I heard Lucy call my name, but ignored it. I had to get out of here, before Gajeel got to me. I didn't know where I would go, but I had to get away from him. But he was already outside. Maybe he skipped the last class, knowing I would try to run. I quickly passed him, trying to stay ahead of him, but he caught up with me really fast.

"Yukino, listen. You need help. This is not going well. You were scared when I made that remark, wich made me think I wasn't far from the truth."

He stopped in front of me, just as I walked out of the gates, blocking my way. He put his hands on my shoulders, preventing me from walking away.

"Someone is hurting you pretty bad, isn't he? And not just once, this happened before. That's why you slapped Natsu the other day. That's why you hate being touched, and you keep your distance from pretty much everyone."

"Stop it. Don't you dare say it."

 _'He already knows.'_

Gajeel looked at me intensely.

"Yukino...I know you don't want me to know this. But I have seen this happening before, and I don't want it to end the same way. You're being raped by your father, aren't you?"

My heart froze when he said it. I couldn't believe it. I tried so hard to keep this to myself. How come he saw right trough everything?

 _'Because you're weak.'_

"I am NOT weak!"

I shouted at the voice in my head, and snarled at Gajeel at the same time, and punched him in the face with all the strength I had. At least, that was my intention, but he caught my fist in his hand, stopping me, while frowning at me.

"I never said you are weak."

He sounded surprised. Ofcourse he did. I wasn't talking to him.

 _'Then who? Not you, not him. Who am I?'_

I pulled my arm back, and grabbed my head with both hands. What was happening to me? Who was saying this stuff to me? Who was she? I looked back up , on the verge of tears, and saw Gajeel looking at me with a worried look in his eyes. He probably thougt I was insane. Was I? My eye caught a movement behind Gajeel, and I stumbled back a few steps as I regonized the man, crossing the street, coming towards me.

" . NO!"

"Yukino?"

Gajeel called out my name, and turned around to see the man walking my way. Putting my reaction and the look on the mans face together, he instantly knew. Sort of.

"Is that your father?"

"No. It's his friend, Mike. Don't let him get to me, please."

I started crying hysterically as Mike came closer. Gajeel got in front of me blocking his stopped abruptly, looking up at Gajeel, who was at least a feet taller.

"She doesn't want to talk to you."

Gajeel almost spat the words at Mike, and Mike backed off a bit.

"I. I wanted to apologize. Yukino. I'm sorry. What I did last night was terrible. I was drunk, and that is no excuse, but I'm sorry. I'll turn myself in, I promise."

I looked around Gajeel. Mike looked actually sorry. Now that he was sober, he didn't look too bad.

"I don't know if your father does these things when he's sober, but I never would. I don't know...I'm sorry. And if you want I'll testify against your father."

"No!"

I stepped around Gajeel, and punched Mike in the face, causing him to fall flat on his ass.

"You let me solve this on my own."

Punch.

"I will not let you get in my way."

Punch.

"And I will fucking KILL that asshole! So if you wanna die that badly, come stop me!"

And with that I ran off, heading home, my mind made up, as I pulled my pocketknife out of my pocket. I didn't have any choice now. This would end.

 _'Yes. Yes, you should kill him. Make him suffer.'_

 **A/N: thanks for reading. please leave a review!**


	7. There will be blood

**CH 7: There will be blood.**

(Gajeel POV)

I looked at Yukino's back when she ran away. What the hell just happened? The man was still on the ground, his nose bleeding, and obviously broken. I bent over and grabbed him by his shirt, pulling him up so I could look him in the eye.

"What did you do to her?"

"Gajeel! What are you doing? Put that man down! "

Mira came running at me, a worried look on her face, and as she reached me she put her hand on my arm. I angrily shook it off and focussed on the man I was holding.

"I'll ask you one more time. What did you do to Yukino?"

I heard Mira gasp next to me, and I could feel her anxiousness towards the man grow. The man himself looked scared, and I liked it.

"I-I. I did something terrible."

When he stopped talking I shook him firmly, and I'm sure I gave him a whiplash in the process. He yelled at me to stop.

"I'm one of her father's coworkers. I was invited to come over, and we drank some beers. He started telling me what a beautifull daughter he had, and then she came home. He told her to put on some new dress, and when she came back downstairs to show it off, she looked gorgeous. I was drunk man, I never ment to hurt her."

I put him back on his feet, bringing my face close to his, growling.

"What. Did. You. Do?"

"Oh, man. You're gonna kill me. We raped her. Not just me. Her father too. I'll testify man, I swear I'll admit everything, I can't believe I did this."

I heard a very satisfying crack when I punched him in the face. By the way he started bleeding from his mouth, and grabbed his jaw, I guess I made him swallow some teeth.

"Gajeel!"

Mira pulled my arm.

"Stop. We have no time. Where is Yukino?"

"She said she was going to kill him. She must mean her father."

"Oh, no! Follow me!"

She started running back towards the school. I had no idea why, but I followed her anyway. When I spotted Gray and Natsu in the crowd , I shouted at them.

"Keep that asshole down! Do not let him get away. And somebody call the goddamn police!"

I didn't wait for their reply but kept running after Mira, who ran straight into Makarov's office. Laxus was there at the moment, but we couldn't be bothered by that.

"Mira, what on earth?"

Laxus took one look at her face, and grabbed her arms.

"What's wrong?"

Mira completely ignored him, wich would have been funny if we weren't in a hurry.

"Headmaster, we have a problem. A man came to talk to Yukino. He told us he and her father sexually abused her last night, apparently drunk. We need her adress. She said she was going to kill her father, we need to stop her!"

"She probably gets raped by her father on a regular base."

All heads turned to me when I said that, demanding explaination.

"She was covered in bruises the first day she came here. Two months ago she had fingermarks on her upper arm. As big as my hand. And today she was late, and she looked like she was in pain. She was walking very weird, so I told her she looked like she got assfucked. Judging by the look on her face ,that's exactly what those guys did last night."

Mira gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, tears welling up in her eyes from the shock and disbelieve. Laxus and old Makarov both looked very pissed. Almost as pissed as me. Makarov said nothing, but took out a file, looked up her adress and got up.

"Did you two bring extra helmets?"

He looked at me and Laxus. We both nodded. Makarov stormed out of the building, with the three of us on his heels.

...

(normal POV)

I slammed the door closed, but this time I didn't even give my father the chance to come storming into the hallway, as I stormed into the living room myself, almost bumping into him. My father backed up as he saw me, a bit surprised at my storming in, but he pulled himself together fast enough.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Is this a way to come home?"

"He came to my school! That son of a bitch came to my school!"

His right hand slapped me in the face.

"Mind your language and stop being so fucking hysterical! Who came to school?"

I gritted my teeth, and looked him straight in the eye. I was not going to back down this time. My pocketknife was hidden in my right fist,ready to be used.

"Mike did! You know, your nice raping buddy. The fucking asshole came to apologize for what the two of you did to me yesterday."

My father's face turned pale. The next second he pushed me against the wall, almost crushing my upper arms, getting his face close to mine. I kept looking him in the eye, not even flinching about the pain he was causing. And what do you know. The bastard looked a bit taken aback.

"What did he say? Was there anyone there?"

He was scared. He tried not to show it, but I saw it in his eyes. If anyone knew what he did, he would be in jail for a longtime.

 _'Those who are scared, are weak. This is our change. Take him down. You can do it.'_

I raised my left arm, and rammed it down on his arms, forcing him to let me go. My right hand shot up in the air, as I pushed the button on my pocketknife to make the knife appear. For a short moment, I saw a flash of fear on my fathers face, and the next moment my knife sank into his chest, covering my hand in blood when I pulled it back out. My father stumbled backwards and dropped to the floor, holding his hands to his chest to avoid bleeding to much. I made myself as tall as I could and towered above him. This felt so good.

 _'He deserved it. Now tell him. And finish him!'_

" He told me he was sorry. And that he would testify against you."

I felt my mouth twist in a smirk. To see my father in pain, scared of me, knowing that even if he survived, he would go to jail.

"That's right, asshole. You're done. No matter what you do, you're screwed."

I giggled like a maniac at my sick joke.

"At least now you know how it feels. But don't worry about jail. I'll make sure you won't end up there."

I walked closer, and squated down above him.

"Better yet. You're not going anywhere. At least, not alive."

"You can't! I'm your father! You can't kill me. You're a good girl. Don't ruin your reputation. I'm sorry , ok? I'm sorry. Please don't..."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

 _'That's right. Don't believe him. Finish him.'_

"I will!"

The knife came down again. And again, and again and again. Blood splattered everywhere, covering both of our faces, our clothing, the livingroom. Everything looked red.

...

(Gajeel's POV)

Laxus and I came to an abrupt standstill on the drive way. Inside we could hear screaming, and without giving it a second thought I ran to the door, Laxus close behind me. As I tested the door to see if I could enter, I heard Mira calling the police and ambulance. Makarov came towards us.

"Can you break it open?"

Laxus turned to was his grandfather.

"Maybe if Metalface here and I throw all our weight into it. But I think it's better to break the window."

We all looked at the only window on the front side of the house. The curtains were closed, wich was weird, but we could definetely break it.

"Yo, Laxus. Together. On three."

Laxus nodded, and we got ready to run into the window. Inside we heard Yukino's voice screaming, but no man. In the distance we already heard the sirens. But we couldn't wait for them. I looked at Laxus, who nodded.

"One. Two. THREE!"

We ran towards the window, jumping up and kicking it in. The glass shattered into pieces, flying in all directions. We landed on shards, and in one quick glance I could see we both had cuts. But that was nothing compared to the mess in the livingroom. There was blood all over the place . In the middle of the livingroom there was a man on the ground, holding his arms up, as Yukino kept stabbing down on him, sitting on top of him. She was screaming, even though she wasn't using any words. It was basically just shreeking her lungs out, and the insanity of the situation gave me goosebumps. The poor girl finally snapped.

I ran over to her, and grabbed her from behind, slapping the knife from her hand, and pulling her arms behind her. She struggled, and I actually had some trouble restraining her. Laxus kneeled down by her father.

"He's alive, but not for long, if those medics don't come soon."

Mira stepped through the broken window, quickly followed by Makarov. They rushed over to Yukino's father, putting pressure on the wounds to stop the bleeding. Yukino started to cry hysterically as she watched them.

"No! NO! He has to die! Let me kill him. Let me finish him. I have to finish him!"

She kicked and wriggled to get loose, but I wasn't letting go. I was glad when the medics finally arrived though. She was completely insane, I didn't want to see her like this. The medics took care of her father first, putting him on a brancard, and taking him to the hospital in one of the ambulances. Yukino shreeked and struggled all that time, begging me to let her kill her father. Finally one of the medics came towards me with a seringe. He looked at me with a look of understanding, not saying a word. I wouldn't have heard him anyway. He pulled up Serena's sleeve, pierced her skin with the needle and injected a sedative. At least, I asume that's what it was, cause she almost immediately collapsed in my arms, dropping to the floor. Two other medics came to pick her up and put her in the other ambulance. I looked around the room, and saw Makarov and Mira talk to the Commissioner of police. A female agent was talking to Laxus, making notes on a notepad. I heard someone clear his troath next to me, and looked down. A short police officer looked up at me, his notepad ready.

"I'm sorry. I need to ask you a few questions."

...

(normal POV)

 _'You didn't finish him. You couldn't even kill him. After all Gajeel taught us, you couldn't kill him. You're a faillure. Weak. No wonder your father raped you this long. You were to weak to stop him. Loser. Weakling. I will not let anyone hurt this body anymore. It's mine now. You might as well be dead.'_

"SHUT UP!"

...

(Gajeel's POV)

It's been three months. Three fucking long months. And she is still in there.

I stand in front of the mental hospital. It's so familiar. I don't even want to be here. But I have to check on her. As I have been doing ever since she came out of the hospital and got admitted here.

After the police took all of our statements, we went to the hospital. Yukino's father was alive, even though it was a narrow escape for him. Yukino on the other hand... She wasn't injured as bad as he was. She had a few cuts from her own knife and scratched from the glass shards that were sent flying when we kicked in the window. Her mind was a totally different matter. It seemed Yukino didn't only seem to be insane, she actually was. The doctors couldn't really test her on anything mental, bacause she just didn't answer. But they did have to strap her to the bed, and even then it was hard to give her an infusion or medication. She bit the nurses, and she never stopped screaming untill they sedated her.

Finally, after a month she calmed down, but she refused to talk. Or eat for that matter. They had to probe feed her. And she just let them do whatever they had to do without making a sound. Her fysical examination at the hospital already confirmed she had been repeadedly raped by her father, and her father was pretty quickly convicted to spend the next twenty years in jail. His friend got a lower sentence, seeing he only was an accomplice once, and he testified against mr Agria. When the doctors told Yukino about this, she didn't respond at all. She just stared into nowhere. And so they decided, since she didn't need fysical aid anymore, she had to go to this mental hospital. They still probefeed her. And as far as I know, there hasn't been any improvement. So I'll just keep checking in untill there is.

Another thing. That bastard better die in jail. If he ever comes out...

.

.

.

.

.

I'll kill him.


	8. Kayleigh

**CH : 8 Kayleigh**

 _'You are so weak. You couldn't even kill him. After all Gajeel taught you, you couldn't even kill the bastard who abused your body for ten years. You might as well be dead. I'm taking charge now.'_

(gajeel POV)

As I enter the mental hospital, the receptionist greets me. She allways does, even though I never say anything back. I walk straight to the department where Yukino is, seeing Mira already there when I arrive. She's here everyday, since she's the closest thing to family the police could find. There is no sign whatsoever of any relatives she might have. The police can't even find her mother. Mira is talking to one of the doctors, and even though I don't really want to be a part of that conversation, I don't mind eavesdropping.

"So there is no improvement at all?"

Mira sounds dissapointed, and I can understand why. Yukino has been here for three months, and she still won't talk. If only she would, she would be able to get therapy. But according to the doctors, she is completely lethargic. She won't respond to anyting, or eat. They have to probe feed her.

"Unfortunately, no. We tried different things. No matter who talks to her, she doesn't respond. That's why we called you to come. Maybe she will talk to you."

The doctors response confuses me. Mira is here everyday, so why did they call her?

Mira sighs. I can see the thought of talking to Yukino confuses her. She wants to, but I think she doesn't know what to say. I watch her face as she looks up at the doctor, and nods.

"Allright. I'll try. But what do I talk about? "

"Anything. But try to avoid the abuse and her father. Maybe school or her friends?"

"Music."

They both look at me, obviously surprised that I say something. Or maybe they didn't know I could hear them. I'm not ashamed for interfering now. Not that I get ashamed at all. But this is important. So I look them in the eye like nothing happened.

"She likes music. Maybe that will make her talk. Or just play some music."

I hesitate. I'm not a doctor, but I think avoiding the most important topic is stupid. That's exactly what she has to talk about.

"I think talking about her father is the first thing you should do. Even if she gets mad, that would at least be a response."

The doctor gives me an agry glare.

"It's not really our intention to make her more depressed. Or agressive. She might hurt someone."

I raise my eyebrows. So that's why they're so carefull. She might attack them. Wouldn't matter to me.

"I'll go."

Mira gets up and comes at me.

"Gajeel, you can't just march in here and decide all of this. The doctors know what they're doing. If they say we shouldn't mention it we shouldn't."

I feel myself getting angry and frustrated. These doctors 'know' what they're doing, but they haven't made progress in three months. Something needs to happen now.

"They know shit! She hasn't said a thing, and you are scared she might attack you. I'm not. Let her hit me. She can. She can scream, and hit me, or throw stuff at me, I don't care! We need something to go on."

"Gajeel.."

"Let him."

The doctor suddenly interrupts Mira, and surprisingly sides with me.

"If he's not afraid of whatever she might do, let him."

Mira turns to face the doctor, her surprise visible on her face.

"But doctor.."

"It's his choice ,Ms Strauss. At this point I can understand his desperation. She needs help, quick. If we can't get to her, maybe he can. She needs to wake up from this mental slumber."

Mira nods and looks at me.

"Allright. But try not to hurt her."

I nod without saying anything and walk to Yukino's appartments. I've been in front of this door more than once, trying to hear anything coming from her. But I allways had to stay on this side of the door. This time I'm going in, and I'm not leaving untill I get a response, no matter how little.

I quietly open the door, and at first I don't see anyone. Then I notice the huge lounge chair by the window, and see her reflection. Without saying a word I walk to the window and sit in the windowsill, making it impossible for her not to see me, since I'm practically blocking her view.

"Hey newbie."

No response. She doesn't even look at me. She seems to be staring right trough me, like I'm not there. Her eyes look so empty, void of any emotion. I wonder what she's thinking, if she is thinking that is. Her face is pale, and she looks so skinny. She's merely a shadow of what she was, and what she was wasn't much in the first place. The atmosphere around her seems so cold.

"You look like hell. You've sure looked better."

I can almost hear Mira gritt her teeth at my remark. Maybe she is listening. I know they have camera's and mics in this room, to monitor everything that happens. Mira will kill me when I'm done here.

"I especially liked those bruises you had."

I hate myself for saying this. But I have to push her. Being all nice and sweet won't work. Although I'm not getting much now either. I really don't want to push harder, but I'm afraid I don't have a choice.

"So...Your father got convicted. I supose you're not too happy about that. After all, you wanted to kill him. I think you would've preferred it if he was here, so you could strangle him or something like that."

Her fingers twitch, and I know I'm hitting the right spot somewhere.

"Maybe you rather want him to be here instead of me."

Her eyes flash up to meet mine, and I regret what I said. Her eyes are stonecold and dark, pinning me in my place, freezing me on the spot. I just can't move. I'm captivated by this person, who looks so far gone, and yet so deadly. I keep staring at her, waiting for her to say something, but she just stares back. Who is this girl? It seems like I don't even know her. It's her face, but those eyes...

I swallow and try to find my voice again. I got a response, I can't quit now.

"Maybe you can kill him when he comes out off jail."

I'm so dead. Mira will torture me.

"Or you could just let him rape you again."

Yukino smirks with the same cold look in her eyes. It makes her look evil. She looks possessed. The girl in front of me is not the quiet girl I know from school. This is a demon. She slowly gets up and stands right in front of me. Even with the 'assylum' clothes, I can see how much weight she lost. I look at her as she just stands there, smirking at me like a devil. And then she suddenly puts her hands on both sides of my face, leaning forward a bit. Her hands are so cold. What is she doing?

"Yukino?"

"Wrong, hot stuff."

Her voice makes my stomach twist and turn, and I have to try really hard not to shiver. It sounds so different. Much lower and almost manacing, while at the same kind she seems to be purring like a cat. She keeps her eyes fixed on mine, and now that's she's closer, I see how dark her brown eyes really are. And honestly, she scares me.

"Wrong how?"

It's good I've worked years on keeping my cool. She won't notice a thing. My voice sounds just the way it normally does. She still smirks, and leans in closer, her face only an inch away from mine.

"Yukino wouldn't do this."

And then she kisses me. I'm taken by surprise, and look into her cold , dark eyes as she presses her lips on mine. She isn't doing this for fun. She is just trying to shock me. Well I can play that game too. I roughly grab her wrists and throw her on the ground , sitting on top of her, pinning her to the ground.

"Don't fuck with me ,Yukino."

She spits at my face.

"Don't call me that. Yukino was only good enough to get raped, and pittied by the likes of you and that silverhaired cunt. I'm not that weak."

I pin her hands above her head, knowing very well her father might have done the same.

"Seems pretty weak to me, since you're pinned to the floor. Unless you like that."

Her eyes flash with anger, but I see a slight spark of fear. I knew it. The old Yukino is still in there.

"Get off me."

She commands me coldly, like she doesn't doubt I will obbey her. But now that I got her to talk, I'm not letting go. I can see it. Deep down, she's scared. I hate doing this, but she has to come back. So I lean down and kiss her firmly. She freezes underneath me for a second, and then a sharp pain goes trough my lower lip. She bit me! I pull back, putting my finger on my lip to see blood. Only for a brief moment, 'cause Yukino hits me in the face. Hard. I fall backwards on my ass, and look at her in surprise. She looks at me with such a vengefull look in her eyes, and then she jumps me. She throws me back on the ground and starts punching me again and again. It amazes me that this thin fragile girl can do this. Where is this coming from?

I hear the door open and footsteps coming in. A man in a white coat starts pulling at Yukino.

"Let her!"

I shout at him. They should not interfere. But she stops hitting me anyway, and I look up to her face, as she straddles me. Her face is still hard, but her eyes...There's so much sorrow in them.

"Aren't you the noble one. Are you just going to allow me to hit you?"

Her voice is still cold, but I can see it in her eyes. She's out of control, and the one in control obviously hates me.

"I don't care what you say. The real Yukino is still in there. And if this will help getting that girl back, you can punch me as much as you want. In the mean time, I would like to know who's punching me."

She gets up from me and stands towering over me as she stares down at me, smirking that devilish grin again.

"The name is Kayleigh."

...

A nurse hands me a napkin to whipe the blood from my face. That girl punched me so hard , she gave me a nosebleed. I don't know whether to be angry or proud. Mira sits next to me, a bit shocked at the recent events. One of the shrinks sits on a chair opposite of us, his hands folded.

"I think we can say for sure she has a split personality. Apparently this 'Kayleigh' is taking over at the moment. We can treat schizophrenia, but we have a problem."

The doctor pauses like he's on motherfucking Oprah, and sighs.

"The medication is something she has to swallow. There's no other way of getting that into her system. If she won't take them, we can't treat her."

I grunt.

"Then force her."

Mira looks at me shocked.

"Gajeel! We couldn't possible do that. She might choke."

"Indeed."

The doctor nods in agreement at Mira's protest. I can't believe this. We finally know what's wrong with her, we have the treatment, but we can't give it to her. Because there is no way in hell Kayleigh will take those pills.

"So, now what do we do?"

The doctor looks at me intently for a few moments.

"I think it would be best if you came by more often. You're the only one that got her to talk. So maybe you can reach whoever she really is. And since you had the idea to use music... I supose you would know what kind of music?"

I nod in silence and get up.

"I'll be back tomorrow."

...

"Hey newbie."

Once again there is no respons. Yukino, or Kayleigh, is just staring out the window again.

"You'll be happy to know you caused some serious bruises yesterday."

She looks at my face briefly, but her expression doesn't change. She just goes back to staring outside. I sigh and sit in the windowsill again blocking her view completely this time.

"Listen here, sweetheart. You can ignore me again, but I'm not leaving untill I'm satisfied with my visit. So we can get this over with real quick, or this is going to be a long day."

She looks at me and sighs.

"What do you want,asshole?"

Well, that is something. Obviously she chooses the faster method. Fine with me.

"Kayleigh, was it?"

She nods.

"So, Kayleigh. Wouldn't you rather go outside, instead of just staring? You look pretty dumb like this."

She snorts.

"Like they'll let me out. I know they figured out I'm schizofrenic. They will try to treat me. But you know what, punk? I don't want them to treat me. Yukino was weak. She depended on you too much. She couldn't even kill that asshole. I most certainly can. And that's another reason why they will never let me out."

She sounds distant and calculating, like it's not her she's talking about. And I supose with schizofrenia, to her, Yukino is a different person.

"Ok. So you don't want to be treated. Then what do you want?"

"No. What do YOU want? Why are you trying so hard to get that weak girl back? What am I to you?"

I honestly have no clue what to say now. Because I don't know. What is Yukino to me? I care about her, that's for sure. But why? Maybe because she reminds me so much of..

"Sorano."

Kayleigh looks at me a bit confused. I never told Yukino about Sorano. I never told anyone. But maybe, this is the time to tell. I need her to understand why I have to get Yukino back. So I start telling.

...

My parents got divorced when I was five years old. I didn't really understand what happened, but I remember my mother crying. She tried to make my life as good as possible, doing everything on her own, untill two years later she met a man, who was also a single parent. He had a daughter, Sorano.

Within a short amount of time, my mother got remarried, and Sorano became my stepsister. She was a cute little girl, two years younger than me. I protected her like a good big brother. We grew up as best friends, and that didn't change when both of us hit puberty. She was only eleven, but a real treat for the eyes. She was a real heartbreaker. So cute and kind. Allways smiling. I had to chase the guys away from her, and she was glad that I did. Unfortunately, I didn't see the real monster was living with us.

When Sorano was twelve, all of a sudden she became withdrawn, and sad, quiet. She didn't talk to me like she used to, and kept everyone at distance, and I didn't understand why. When I asked my mom, she said it was probably just puberty, but I felt something was wrong. Within a few months Sorano became a total stranger, staying out all night. Somehow she got booze somewhere, and I'm sure she was getting drugs somewhere too, as she came home wasted and high several times. There was nothing left of my sweet sister. And shortly after she turned thirteen, police came to our door, telling my mother and stepfather they had found her body. She took an overdose. My mom became practically hysterical, loving Sorano as her own daughter. Sorano's father on the other hand was too calm to my liking. The police investigated the matter of her death, and when I eavesdropped on their conversation with my parents, I figured out where they had found her.

The next day I went out investigating the place where they had found her. To my surprise there were people there, crying, putting down flowers. I talked to one of the guys, asking him what they were doing, and he told me they had been Sorano's friends. They were obviously all junkies, but the cared about my little sister. I asked the guy if he knew why she did what she did. And his answer sent me running back home.

At home , the first thing I did was grabbing a knife from the kitchen. Then I walked to the livingroom where my mother and stepfather were sitting on the couch.

"You son of a bitch. Sorano killed herself because you raped her, you dirty bastard!"

I accused my stepfather without hesitation, and even though he tried to hide it, I could see it was true. Without second thought I attacked him, and stabbed him straight in the heart. He died almost instantly, and my mother starting crying hysterically. I was only fifteen, but already a murderer. I turned myself in, telling the police exactly why I did what I did. I ended up in juvy for two years. When I got out, people told me my mother had gone insane, and basically just stopped living, refusing to eat or drink. I was alone. I joined a gang. Got piercings for every week that I had failed to protect Sorano. And then Makarov found me. He gave me a chance to start over, under one condition; That I would join his school. That was two years ago.

...

I look at the girl in front of me when I finish talking. I don't know what I expected from her. But she looks at me in cold pity, like I'm a total loser.

"Too bad for you, sweetie. I'm not Sorano. And don't bother about Yukino. She never cared about you, and she's not coming back."

It hurts me more than I care to admit, and slowly I get up.

"I'll keep trying. Because I won't let another girl I care about die."


	9. Insanity

**CH: 9 : Insanity**

 _ **Everything feels so distant. I can see Gajeel there. I can hear what he is saying, but I can't respond. My voice doesn't work. And still I have the feeling someone is talking back. But it's not me. It's her. This Kayleigh, who tried so hard to make me kill my father. Who tried so hard to turn me into a murderer. She's been here for a long time, but I never lost control to her before. And now I'm here, a prisoner in my own body.**_

 _ **I feel sorry for Gajeel. He's been trough so much. I want to tell him I'm in here, but SHE won't let me.**_

 _"You're a real crybaby aren't you?"_

 _ **Even in here she talks to me without saying anything out loud. I have to get control back ,but how?**_

...

(gajeel POV)

"You can say what you want, but I will not feel sorry for you. Losing your stepsister wasn't your fault. It was his, just as much as losing Yukino isn't your fault."

Kayleigh talks to me, like my whole story was just stupid, like i'm complaining or whining. But the fact is, I was Sorano's big brother. It was my duty to protect her. And I know Yukino isn't my responsibility, but I have to try.

"I brought you some music."

I get up and put the disc in the cd-player. Behind me, the stranger in Yukino's body snorts. But then the music starts playing. It's the same Beethoven piece she played at school. The one that made her pour her anger and sadness out. The moment when she made an entire class listen in silence. If Yukino is still in there, this should do something, although I'm not sure what.

...

 _ **(Yukino's POV)**_

 _ **My music! He's playing my music! I can't believe he thought of something like that, It's so sweet. My heart swells and I can feel tears rolling down our face. MY face.**_

 _"No! Get back. You're not getting control again. Don't let yourself be pursuaded by this jerk! He'll only abuse you as soon as he has you where he wants you!"_

 _ **That's not true. Gajeel would never hurt me, I'm sure. He is trying so hard to get me back, although I don't understand why he cares so much. And I'm sick of all this anger and hatred flowing trough me. It needs to get out, but not like this.**_

 _"We're doing this my way, bitch. I took you down, stay down!"_

 _ **"LIKE HELL!"**_

 _ **...**_

All of a sudden my voice screams trough the room. I can see Gajeel staring at me in confusion. I don't know what he expected, but obviously, this wasn't it. My hands grip the armrests of the chair so tight, my knuckles turn white. Kayleigh is still trying to get back in control, but I have to fight her. I can't be her.

 _"I will always be a part of you, like it or not."_

"Stop talking to me, bitch."

Gajeel looks even more confused for a minute, but then he finally seems to understand what's happening. He comes toward me, and crouches in front of me.

"Yukino?"

He sounds hopefull, but almost like he can't believe it. I can't blame him, I must be a wreck. I've seen our reflection, pale, skinny, underfed. I know what I look like. I've heard the sound of her voice, so different from mine. It was so cold. I was cold. WE were cold. It was a dark, frozen and barren landscape.

Gajeel is still in front of me, staring into my eyes intensely.

"Yukino?"

I put my hands over my ears.

"Shut up! Just shut up! You're confusing me!"

Tears stream down my face, as I finally look back at him. I am so confused. Who am I? Yukino? The name just doesn't sound right. But I'm not Kayleigh either.

"Who am I? "

My confused question sounds hysterical, but before Gajeel can answer, three doctors enter the room in haste. One of them, probably the head doctor, basically shoves Gajeel aside, and adresses me.

"Miss Agria."

Both of my inner voices start screaming at that name, and I scream both litterally as mentaly.

"Don't call me that! That's his name! Don't call me that, please!"

I start crying even harder, and even though Kayleigh is telling me I'm overreacting, I can't stop. What's happening to me? I feel like I'm losing it completely. I see Gajeel pushing the doctor aside again, not giving a fuck that he falls over and lands flat on his ass on the floor, with a loud protest. He gently grabs my hands, and I flinch at his touch, but he doesn't let go.

"Yukino, listen to me. You have to calm down. We will help you but you have to do what we say."

His voice is warm and calm, sooting almost. I still sob, but the tears stop coming down. My breathing is shallow, my vision is getting blurry and my heartbeat excelerates. Not his again. My nails dig into Gajeel's palms, and I see him bite back a grunt, but he doesn't pull his hands back, and starts talking to me again.

"Yukino, listen. It's ok. The doctors can give you something to keep Kayleigh away, you understand? It will not hurt you, it will just shut her up."

I slowly nod. I'll do anything to keep her out. Although she obviously doesn't agree. Suddenly I feel her creeping under my skin, pulling my arm back and punching Gajeel in the face. He stares at me, confused, as I let out a soft scream of agony.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, that wasn't me. I didn't..."

"Shh, Yukino. Easy. It's ok. I know she hates me. Don't let her darkness consume you. You're strong. Fight her. I know you can. Look for that speck of light, no matter how small. And focus on that."

The doctors watch us in silence. I know they'd prefer tho shove those pills down my troath, but I won't fucking let them. And obviously, I still have some language issues left from Kayleigh. She rubbed off on me.

 _"Told you, I will always be a part of you."_

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!"

Gajeel and the doctors look at me in surprise. I think they can't tell who I'm shouting at.

"She is resisting, Isn't she?"

Gajeel sounds curious, but calm. I can only nod, as my internal struggle continues.

"Why does she hate me, Yukino?"

I can't even...She hates him? But why? Because he tried to get rid of her? I search our thoughts, and when I find the reason, I'm shocked myself. I struggle to get the words out. Kayleigh doesn't want me to say them.

"She...Ugh."

I pant, fighting to keep control over my body and voice.

"She's scared of you."

The room is filled with a strange silence. I slightly notice how one of the doctors keeps making notes. They must be making a file on me, so he has to make a record of everything I do and say. I understand that, but I don't like it. Gajeel looks at me with such a confused look in his eyes, I know I have to tell the rest too. The one thing I never wanted to admit to myself, because I was scared too.

"It's you."

An even more confused look takes over Gajeel's face.

"Me? What about me?"

I start panting even louder at the struggle it takes me to talk.

"The... Light."

"Huh? "

One of the doctors makes his confusion audible. Even though the others silence him quickly, I know Gajeel must feel the same. I have to push harder. I can't let her win.

"You...You are..."

I grunt as Kayleigh seems to put a lock on my vocalchords. I feel her fear. She doesn't want me to admit. But I have to. Somehow, I have to open myself up to others. It's not like I don't want to be friends with them. I want to trust them, especially him. But I'm scared. Will they still like me, will they still want me, If they know the truth? How could I possibly tell all of it? It seems so hard, so compared to that, admitting this should be easy to start with. I open my mouth again, after taking a deep breath.

"You. Are. My...Light. You are my light, Gajeel."

There. I've said it. And I feel a lot better for it.

...

 **A/N: Thanks for reading again! Sorry it took me a bit longer, I was soooo busy (that's also why this chapter is a bit short, I promise the next will be longer)**

 **Please leave a comment!**


	10. Chasing Shadows away

**A/N: For the few people who follow and actually read this story, I am sorry it took me so long. I haven't been feeling well, and i honestly got stuck in the story. I do know the big lines of where this is suposed to go, but after Yukino's weird confession, I wasn't sure where or when to continue this story, as in; was a time skip appropriate? Do we need more of the "healing process"? I've decided to do the latter, since Yukino's internal struggle is kind of important to the story. I hope you'll put up with me, and forgive me for taking so long. please enjoy.**

 **WARNING: This chapter contains adult material, wich is not suitable for kids. If you are younger than 18, I must advise you not to read this, since it involves child abuse, and sexual language.**

 **CH 10: Chasing Shadows away.**

Gajeel looks at me like I'm insane. And I'm guessing that i might actually be insane. But never in my life has anything been more true than this. Gajeel Is the speck of light in my life. I'm scared and intimidated by him, but the best moments at school happened with him. His smiling face at my first music class. His blacksmithing. Him teaching me to defend myself. All of that was Gajeel. Even if he acted like a total asshole at the time, thinking back to it now, he was actually being kind. He's no punk. He's a good guy, but a bit rough around the edges. And so am I. I need someone who can handle all of this crap, without backing down if I snap, and I think Gajeel might just be able to do that. Although right now it's pretty obvious he doesn't understand shit about what I'm saying.

"What do yo mean, I am your light?"

I sigh, and Kayleigh crawls in the back of my head. She's anxious. But knowing she's scared of him, scared of how I feel about Gajeel, gives me the courage to explain what needs to be explained. But before I can do so, one of the doctors clears his troath.

"Excuse me, Miss...Uhm. Yukino. You might feel good now, but Kayleigh might get back in control if we don't give you the proper medication soon. While you're...feeling better, we think it would be best if you took these pills now, before anything happens."

He holds out two small,round, blue pills, and a glass of water. I look up at him anxiously, and for once me and Kayleigh agree. She doesn't like this either, even though it's for completely different reasons. I can't help it, I have to ask.

"What is it, and what is it for?"

"This is called Haldol. It's a typical medicine for people with multiple personalities. Better known as schizofrenia. It'll help you to at least be able to handle your second personality, and in most cases it will dissapear and stay silent."

"Forever?"

"As long as you take these meds. Sometimes people with a split personality kind of grow out of it, and in those cases we slightly decrease the amount of pills you'd have to take. For now, twice a day, two pills."

The answer is clear. But I still don't like the idea. It feels like I'm about to numb a part of me. But it's a part I hate anyway, so what's the problem?

 _"I make you stronger than you have ever been. You would be nowhere without me."_

Kayleigh tries to convince me not to take those pills, but I shake my head furiously, confusing everyone in the room.

"Wrong. I can be strong without you. You might be scared of Gajeel, but I'm not. He'll help me get strong. You are going out of my head, and you're not coming back in!"

I quickly grab the pills and the water, and down them before Kayleigh can stop me. All she can do is protest in silence.

 _"NO! no, no,no,no. You are a coward. You need me. You'll go mad without me. You..."_

"Shut the fuck up, Kayleigh. You're done."

Gajeel looks at me as he sees my body relax, while Kayleigh slowly grows weaker. I look at him, and try to smile, but instead of smiling, I start crying. Not sure what to do, He looks at me, and then gently puts his hand on my knee, carefull not to touch me to much. The doctors leave one by one ; there's nothing left for them to do now. Or so I think. Before the last one closes the door, he turns around.

"We would like you to talk to our psychiatrist. It would help us to help you, and we're sure it would benefit you."

"No."

Gajeel is surprised by my quick, short and unmoving answer.

"Yukino... I think he's right."

"No. I will not talk to a stranger."

Gajeel nods. He seems to understand, and maybe he understands more than I know. Has he been trough this as well? Talking to a stranger about how he killed his father? How Sorano killed herself because of her father?

"Do I look like her?"

He looks up in surprise, oblivious to my thoughts.

"Look like who?"

"Sorano."

His jaw clenches, but he shakes his head in silence.

"Not at all. It's just the similiarities in your behaviour that's the same. But I guess that's because of..the situation."

Gajeel looks at the doctor who is still in the doorway.

"Is miss Strauss still here? "

The doctor nods.

"I'll go get her for you."

When he leaves I look at Gajeel. I'm not sure if I want to talk to Mirajane. Or if I'm even capable to do so. Gajeel catches on to my fears, and pats me on the head.

"You need a woman to talk to. This is a subject you don't want to discuss with any guy right now. Trust me."

I nod, although I don't really agree with him. Mira seems too gentle to handle this. Even if she's as wise as she looked to me, I feel like she might burst into tears if I tell her all of this, assuming that I can. But she already comes in, her calm and gracefull self.

"Hi Yukino. Gajeel."

"Hey, Mira."

Gajeel gets up.

"I'll leave you two be. If there's anything, call me."

Mira and I both nod in silence, and as he leaves, she takes his seat. She looks at me with a kind look on her face.

"How are you feeling now?"

"Confused."

"About what?"

"I don't know what day or month it is. How long have I been here?"

"About three months. It's wednesday, the seventeenth of February."

"Thank you."

Mira is silent for a while as she lets me set my inner clock straight. But she isn't going to let me off the hook so easy.

"Does she talk to you? Your other personality?"

"No. The doctor gave me some pills. She's quiet."

"Does it feel like she's still there?"

"Yes."

"Listen, Yukino. I won't force you to talk to me, or tell everything at once. But you have to talk about what happened. And not just the day you ended up almost killing your father. But all those years before."

I flinch at the mentioning of my father. I prefer not to give him such honor as to call him my father. He doesn't deserve that after what he did. And deep inside, I honestly hope I caused him a lot of pain.

"I would prefer if you didn't call that man my father. He doesn't deserve that much credit. Where is he anyway?"

Mira sighs.

"In jail. Even though the police never got to take your testimony, the evidence was very obvious. But if the police could get your side of the story, he'll probably face a longer sentence than what he got now."

I nod. I don't give a damn about how long he'll be in jail. For all I care, his inmates can finish him off. Happens often enough.

"When did this all start?"

Mira seriously isn't going to let me catch a break. I give her an angry glare, but she's unimpressed. A part of me tells me to just keep my mouth shut and stay quiet. But another side of me tells me I might be able to get out of this madhouse sooner, if I talk. It hurts to think back about my childhood. But I honestly want to get this over with. Maybe then they'll finally leave me alone.

My childhood is made out of bad, sad memories. My parents were constantly arguing, about everything. Even when I was younger, sometimes I wondered why they got married in the first place. I remember seeing bruises on my mothers arms and neck, but if I asked what happened she would answer in an evasive way. Thinking back to it now, I realise it must have been my fathers doing. I allways heard them scream and yell, and sometimes I heard the sound of things falling or breaking, but I never saw him hit her. Untill that one unfortunate day.

I had only just turned seven, and my mother was working late. It was almost bedtime for me, and even though I didn't want to go to sleep, I was looking forward to taking my bedtime bath. I was already old and big enough to fill the bathtub myself, so I just went upstairs after telling my father I was going to take a bath. He didn't respond in any way, but I knew he heard me.

I gently put one toe in the water, to see if the temperature was good. And it was perfect. I let myself slide into the tub, and started cleaning myself. If I was quick, I could play in the water a bit, before my father would come upstairs to say my time was up. He was allways very strict about those things. But that day, he came upstairs sooner than he usually did, and came into the bathroom without knocking. I never locked the door. I never had to. My father sat down on the side of the tub, looking down at me. He smelled gross, and I know now, he had been drinking too much that night. But back then I didn't have a reason to be afraid. He never hurt me, and even though he yelled at my mother, she yelled at him too. If you asked me, they were both at fault.

"Want me to wash your back, sweetie?"

I nodded and moved forward a bit, so he could wash my back. He gently rubbed the washing cloth up and down, as I played with a small toy boat.

"It's amazing how fast you've grown, Serena. You're becoming such a big girl already. Before you know it, you'll be quite the beautifull like your mother."

I giggled. I was so small and meaningless compared to my mother, how could he say that?

"You don't believe me?"

His voice sounded strange, but I didn't realise it then. So I just shook my head.

"Mommy is older than I am. And mommy is very pretty. I will never be that pretty."

"You're right. Your mother is certainly beautifull. But you're wrong about yourself."

He pulled me out of the water, onto his lap. I protested, laughing.

"Daddy, don't. You're clothes will get soaked, I'm all wet."

He hugged me tight, holding me close to his chest, one arm around my arms, the other hand on my belly.

"Sweetheart, when you'll get older, you'll get wet in a different place, and all the boys will go mad. I must admit I'm jealous, If i think about anyone touching my liitle girl. I'm not sure if I want to let someone else take your virginity from you."

My mom wasn't prude, but she hadn't really had 'The Talk' with me yet, so I had no Idea what he was talking about.

"What do you mean, daddy? What is my virginity?"

His hand slipped down to the soft place between my legs.

"Daddy?"

"It's when you get all wet down here. But not on the outside, on the inside. Boys will go crazy about that. And they will want to have you. You're virginity. They like that. And they can only take that, by putting their special thing , inside yours."

"My...My special thing?"

His hand slipped down even lower, and one of his fingers started rubbing a little nub. It didn't exactly feel bad, but somehow I had the idea that what he was doing was wrong, so I started squirming in his lap.

"Daddy don't. I don't like that."

"Yes you do. Daddy will make you like it."

His grip on me became stronger and made it impossible to move. His finger slid inside of me, and I still didn't realise what he was doing, but I wanted him to stop.

"Stop, daddy! Stop!"

"Silence!"

This was the first time he yelled at me, and I obeyed. I didn't know what else to do. His finger kept moving around inside of me, and even though something in my mind realised this was wrong, I didn't know why. And my body told a completely different story. Something down there started to tingle. It scared me, but I couldn't get away from it, because my father held me in place. I unvolunteerily let out a soft moan I never heard myself make before, and I heard my father chuckle in my ear.

"That's my girl. I told you you would like it. Hold on a bit longer, I'll make you go mad."

"What the hell are you doing?!"

My mom entered the bathroom, and my father basically dropped me to the floor. I was relieved, but for some reason I felt guitly and I just couldn't look at my mother. I heard her cry though.

"Were you...Touching our little girl?"

The tone of her voice made it pretty clear what he did was indeed wrong. But my father shrugged it off.

"It was just sexual education. Don't get all stressed out over it."

"Sexual education? You are crazy! There is no way that was education! You dirty pervert! Touching your own daughter like that! I'm calling the police! This is the last drop! I will not tolerate your behaviour any longer. You're dispicable!"

"Silence wench!"

My father hit my mom in the face so hard, she fell backwards and hit her head on the sink. Completely panicked , I ran towards her, still naked, and crouched next to her.

"Mommy, I'm sorry. Don't call the police. It was my fault, so it's ok. Don't be angry, please. Don't cry."

At the moment I didn't realise, but my words only made her cry harder. She must have known I would tell the police the same thing, and my father would, and could, do anything to me he wanted, and I would take the blame. And so she fled from the situation she couldn't handle, and left .

Mira hands me a tissue. I didn't even notice the tears rolling down my face. I guess remembering the first time my father put his hands on me was more emotional than I'd thought. Mira looks at me with an understanding, but sad face. She isn't crying like I expected, but she's making the face everyone who hears about a pedophile makes. The sadness for the lost innocence, and the pain for a child, clearly in her eyes.

"It was not your fault. What he did was wrong. You know that, right?"

I start sobbing.

"I don't know. Why didn't I stop him? Why didn't I try to tell my mother what he did?"

"You were a child, Serena. You tried to save something that wasn't there to begin with. You wanted your parents to love eachother, so you didn't want them to be angry at eachother. You did the only think you could think off. You took the blame, so your mother wouldn't be angry at your father."

"And then she got angry at me, and that's why she left me."

"No. She probably just couldn't handle it."

"Why didn't she call the police when she left?"

"Because she knew you would lie."

I sob louder. If only I would have known what to do. If only I would have trusted my mother to do the best thing..

"You should never feel guilty about what your father did. Or the fact that your mother left. All of that was his fault, not yours."

I nod in silence.

"How long did it take to get worse?"

I shiver. Oh God. That definitely didn't take long.

My mother had left only a month ago, when my father came into the bathroom again. I tried not to be scared, but he smelled like beer again, and I was afraid he would do something weird to me again. Just like the first time, he started cleaning my back, and for a moment I thought he wouldn't do anything weird anymore. But just when I thought it was safe, his arm went down in the water in front of me, and he reached between my legs.

"Daddy, please..."

I begged him not to do it. I still remembered how I felt last time, and now that I knew, what he did was wrong, that weird sensation in my body freaked me out entirely. But he would not listen. Instead, he played the biggest trick on me so far.

"It's your fault mom left, so you have to fill in for her a bit, or your dad will feel lonely."

I sighed, but I refrained from saying anything. If it was my fault my mother left, I kinda owed him this. I grabbed on to the arm holding me in place, as his other hand rubbed the nub between my legs. I started to feel funny again, but I had no idea why.

"Daddy? Why does it feel so weird?"

"Because you're enjoying it, even though mom said it was wrong. I know damn well it doesn't feel wrong to you, now, does it?"

I knew he wanted me to say no, so I shook my head. Honestly, I wasn't really sure how or what I felt. His finger slipped inside of me, just like last time, and I moaned. He kept me in place firmly, and pushed his finger even deeper in. It hurt.

"Daddy! That hurts."

"It'll stop hurting soon enough. Don't whine. You want to be a big girl like mommy, right?"

I nodded and bit my tongue. It hurt so bad, and I could see a bit of blood in the water, but I was absolutely sure, that if I would panic, he would get very angry. So I stayed quiet, even when he forced a second finger inside, wich made me feel like something ripped inside of me. I whimpered a little, even though I didn't really want to, but he didn't stop. He made some kind of comforting sounds, wich weren't really comforting considering the situation.

My father just kept going till at some point the pain started to fade, and I started to feel weird again, like all my nerves and muscles were pulled towards that one point in my body were his fingers were moving inside of me. He slowly pulled me out of the tub, while his fingers just kept going as I moaned and whimpered.

"Daddy ,stop...It feels weird, it's too much."

"Almost there."

His fingers started moving even more frantically, and as he pulled me onto his lap, I felt something firm on his lap, pressing against my butt. I had no idea what it was, but my fathers breathing got shallow as soon as I started panting. I felt like I was excercising. My heartbeat was out of control, and I..

"Daddy...I can't...I can't breathe."

"Yes, you can."

His fingers kept moving, untill at some point I let out a soft howl-like moan and my entire body started trembling. The place were my father had been moving his fingers, felt like it was exploding with that strange tingling sensation, and at last, he finally stopped.

A little emberassed, I look at my fists on my lap. The memory of that first time...I know now that was my first, and so far the only, orgasm I ever had, but realising my own father caused it...

My stomach twisted in my body, and in a quick reflex I ran to my private bathroom. Cursed bathrooms. I made my way to the toilet just in time to throw out possibly everything I ate that entire week, and since that hadn't been much, soon I was just throwing up bile. Damn , that hurt.

I heard a soft noise behind me, and for a moment I was spooked by the memory of my father.

"You're doing great, 're trough the worst part. It'll be ok. You're not alone anymore."

Mira started rubbing my shivering back to calm me down. Although I felt electrified by the contact, it felt oddly soothing. I sat up straight, looking at her with tears in my eyes.

"How could he make me do that when I knew it was wrong? Because that was an orgasm right?"

"From your explanation, I'd say so, yes. But you didn't know back then. Your body reacted to something you didn't understand. Come, get up and drink something."

Pulling me back up, Mira supports me and brings me back to the room, handing me a glass of water as soon as I am seated. As I slowly take small sips, Mira puts one leg over the other, folding her hands on her knee.

"Listen. When I just hit puberty, a lot of weird things happened to my body. I'm pretty sure you've been trough most of that yoourself. The sexual part though, freaked me out just as much as you did, only for a different reason. I suddenly discovered that there was a spot that felt completely weird, but, Oh so good, If I rubbed it."

Mira blushes at the memory, smiling slightly.

"I started to aim the shower head at my clit, untill I reached an orgasm. I've been grinding into stuff, trying to get the same result, and was only amazed when different things had different results. The first time a Boy touched it though..."

Mira pauses, with an apologetic smile.

"What I want to say...What your father did was wrong. Terrible. Perverted. But it's not always like that. Sex can be really good, Yukino. I know, you don't feel like trying anything sexual now. You probably won't for a good while. Just, try not to blame sex itsself. Blame the one who abused it against you."

"What is it like with Laxus.?"

I don't even know why I asked. I guess I don't care about sexual experiences, but I think I want to know if all men are so selfish and rough when it comes to sex. And I'm lucky Mira seems to understand exactly what I mean.

"Oh. No, Laxus is...I actually like it rough sometimes. It's a matter of preference. But Laxus can be really gentle. He kisses me softly. Caresses me. Kisses my neck. And he takes the time I need to get ready for the real thing."

"Ready?"

I hear the surprise in my voice. How can a girl be 'ready'?

"Yes. It usually takes some time for a girl to get more relaxed in her, uh..You know. Her womanhood. If a guy rushes it, he'll hurt the girl. But if he's gentle and takes his time, the moment of penetration can be quite enjoyable. Oh, dear! Yukino, I'm sorry!"

She quickly apologizes as she sees tears rolling down my cheeks. She sits down at my knees looking up at me.

"I bet for you it was always painfull."

I nod as, once again, I start crying. But she is right. The worst part is behind me. I told someone. Mira knows now. Maybe...

...

...

...

Maybe now, I'll finally be able to fight my demons.

 **A/N: Geez this chapter took me a while. I'll admit it was difficult for me to write. Putting yourself in the shoes of a seven year old girl who is abused by her dad is pretty tough, and I must admit it got me emotional a bit.**

 **If anyone who reads this story is abused by someone, or knows someone who is being abused, please. Get help. Know that whatever this person does to you, It is never your fault. Please tell someone you trust what is happening to you, or call a local phonenumber for help with abuse, or childservices.**

 **The events in this story, fictional as may be, unfortunately happen too much in real life. Victims to abuse, no matter what kind ,need help. If you're being abused, please know you're not alone, and know there's people there to help you.**

 **Please review, I'd like to know what you guys think of this chapter. ( sorry if it's a bit heavy or emotionally loaded.)**


	11. Starting to heal

**A/N: Sorry for the late update. I am so freaking busy lately.**  
 **Hopefully i can make it up with this chapter, since it is entirely Gajeel's POV. Wich is hard haha.**

 **Ch: 11. Starting to heal.**

(Gajeel's pov)

Mira comes out of the building with a serious and sad look on her face. I kinda hope that's because Yukino told at least a little of the things that happened to her, but I almost expect it to be because she didn't. Mira sees me and stops right next to me, without even really looking at me. As I look down on her curiously, a lone tear rolls down her face. She sighs. I really want to ask what Yukino said, but I'm sure Mira won't be nice to me if I ask right away.

After a few silent minutes I get impatient and start to tap my right foot. I want to give her some time to regain her composure, but damn, woman, say something.

She looks down at my foot, annoyed and sighs again. Finally she looks at me.

"That was terrible. You will not the believe what she has been trough. Just the memory made her throw up."

Another tear rolls down her face, and I feel awkward. What the hell am I suposed to do with a crying chick? Earlier with Yukino I put a hand on her knee, and now I'm starting to think, given the situation, that was pretty stupid. But with Mira I'm absolutely sure I shouldn't touch her, 'cause she'll definitely kill me. So I just clear my troath.

"Are you,uh. Are you okay?"

I look away from her. I hate seeing people cry.

"Yes, I'm fine. I just can't help feeling compassion for her. The things she told me Gajeel..."

Her face suddenly gets angry.

"That damn pervert! She was seven, Gajeel. Seven! She was just a little girl!"

I nod. I already knew that. Yukino has been abused for such a long time, her entire personality was shaped around it.

"We need to change it."

Mira looks at me in confusion, not knowing what I'm talking about.

"Her entire charachter, her personality was build around the abuse, because she was abused for so long. She probably has no idea who she is, really."

Mira's face becomes still, like a freaking Mona Lisa. Women.

"You might be right. We have to figure out what is really her, and what she became because of her father. What is something that her father didn't change?"

"Music. She loves to play piano. "

I suddenly remember something from months ago.

" Excuse me. Gotta go."

And I leave Mira behind, as I rush towards my motorbike, and speed out of the street. I know something that would make Yukino happy. And for some stupid reason, I really want to see her smile.

...

...

...

"Lev! Levy! Shrimp!"

I all but bash the door of Levy's appartment, and after what seems like forever, I hear her pixie like voice on the other side.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!"

The door swings open, and a little bewildered Levy looks up at me with an angry glare.

" For the love of all that's holy, Gajeel. Could you try NOT breaking my door for once? Makarov is already pissed at you for breaking doors in both dorms."

Yeah, well. That's because the doors are made of cardboard. It's not my fault if that stupid flamebrain pisses me off by picking fights all the time. It's a good thing he allways sneaks off to Lucy's room, even though sometimes that causes even more noise. Being single for quite some time, it's no fun to hear that dumbass get laid. Lucy sure as hell is loud.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. Listen up, I need your help."

I march into Levy's room, immediately tripping over a pile of misplaced books, and curse as I slam into the floor.

"You knew that was there. You tripped over that same stack of books last time."

"Well excuse me for thinking you would put them where they belong for a change."

Levy sighs but holds back a remark.

"You needed my help."

"Right."

I get up on my feet and turn to face her.

"You play the violin right? I need you to teach Yukino how to play."

...

...

...

The next day me and the shrimp enter a music shop at the break of dawn. Levy has some interesting connections, I'll give her that. She walks ahead of me, towards a young looking shopkeeper, who totally eyes her.

"Hey Jet. Have you got what I called for?"

"Yes, ofcourse Levy-san. Droy is just getting it out of the box."

Jet and Droy , huh. Sound like idiot names. Jet sure looks like one. My eyes go around the shop, that's filled with sheet music and instruments. My eyes stop wandering as I catch a glimpse of a black and red electric guitar. I walk towards it and take it from the stand. I look at Jet, who keeps a close eye on me.

"Do you mind?"

He shakes his head, and I put the guitar starp over my head, and start playing some Starset riff. This song has been playing in my mind for a few days now, and I softly start singing the lyrics.

 _"I've been looking for a way to bring you back to live._  
 _And if I could find a way, then I would bring you back tonight._  
 _I'd make you look, I'd make you lie, I'd take the coldness from your eyes,_  
 _But you told me, If you love me, let it die."_

Somehow it makes me think of Yukino. The day she looked at me with those cold eyes. Kayleigh's eyes. I just wanted to rip Kayleigh out of her, and make Yukino the girl she allways should have been. The girl Sorano was before. I wonder if Yukino will ever be able to smile.

Two boys are with Levy now, and all three of them are staring at me. Levy with a curious look, the two idiots with admiration and envy, as they look from me to Levy, and obviously don't like the fact that she is looking at me. They can rest assured though. Levy is nice, but a little bit too sweet for my taste. I'd destroy her. And coming to think of it, if I were ever to have sex with that shrimp, I'd definitely kebab her. She'd die.

I put down the guitar and walk towards Levy.

"Got what you needed?"

She holds up a violin case and nods.

"Yep, all done. Now lets get home to pick up my own violin, and then we can go."

I nod in silence, and leave the store, and the idiots, behind me.

...

...

...

"Hey newbie."

Yukino looks up as I enter, surprised to see Levy following in my footsteps.

"Got a surprise for you."

Yukino raises her eyebrows, but doesn't say a word, and looks at the two violin cases Levy is carrying. Levy steps towards her, and nervously clears her troath.

"Uhm. Hi. We met before I think. I'm Levy, from the school library?"

Yukino nods. Why isn't she talking? Levy doesn't seem to be bothered much, and continues.

"Gajeel said you wanted to learn how to play a violin. I used to play a lot, so he asked me if I could teach you. If you want to?"

Yukino had been listening quietly, but now she starts sobbing. What is that with girls and crying all the time? She's looking at me though. Did I do something wrong? Maybe this reminds her of school. Or her piano. Why is she crying?

"You did that for me? Really?"

Huh. Wait. Those are happy tears? I'm confused. So I just nod. And she blushes. I really don't understand girls. First she's crying, now she's blushing. What's with that?

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why did you go trough all that trouble for me?"

"It wasn't any trouble."

I don't get this.

"No. Why did you do it for me?"

Oh. She has a point. Why did I do this for her? Because I want to see her smile. To my annoyance I start blushing a little, thinking that might sound really cheesy if I say that. But Being honest is probably the best way to treat Yukino. Well, fuck it then.

"I want to see you smile. I remembered you said you wanted to play the violin on your first day off school. Thought it would make you happy if you could do something fun in this rathole."

I can see Levy's surprised face from the corner off my eye, but try my hardest to ignore it. Just sound like you're all cool about this, or you'll never hear the end of it.

Yukino's face looks calm as she nods.

"I can't believe you remembered that."

"You made an impression."

Levy almost chokes and I raise an eyebrow at her. These girls will be the death of me. Yukino is blushing again.

"H-how did I make in impression? You scared the hell out of me back then."

I can't help but chuckle a little.

"That much was obvious. But you also had something about you. I don't know. You looked like a stray kitten with the potential to be a lion."

Finally she looks me straight in the eye, with so much honest surprise and emotion, my heart skips a beat for no obvious reason. And the Devil take me, but she smiles.

She actually smiles at me.

...

...

...

God, she's beautifull.

 **A/N: please leave a review. I promise the story will get a lot better from now on.**


	12. Learning

**CH 12: Learning**

Two months. It's been two freaking months since Mira convinced me to move in with her. Three months since I started taking medication. And about the same amount of time since I started playing the violin.

I do homework in my own room; Both Mira and Makarov agree I can't handle school yet. But I don't want to do this year again, so I convinced them to let me study at home. I only have to come to school for exams, and I'm allowed to take those in Mira's office.

Makarov came to tell me the judge that convicted my father, decided that I get all the money. All. Everything that was on his account. The money I got from selling the house. Not his stuff. I burned all of that.

The police found special 'equipment' in the basement I didn't even know we had. Torture devices. BDSM stuff. Probably his next plan for me. I'm glad he never got to use it. It was good enough to add a few more years to his sentence though.

Mira has the biggest appartment in the mixed dorm on campus. There's a Boy's dorm and a girl's dorm, for those who rather stay seperated. Minors are obligated to stay seperated, but those of sixteen years and older can chose in what dorm they want to stay, If they choose not to stay with their parents.

Gajeel is in this dorm. He shares a room with Natsu, wich to me sounds like an odd combination. Lucy shares a room with Juvia. Levy has a room to herself. Gray lives in the boys dorm, obviously to escape Juvia. Mira's brother and sister share a room too. According to Mira, Jellal and Erza have their own home. They live together. A bit young to live together,in my opinion, but it's none of my bussiness.

And here I am, sitting at my bedroom floor with my back against the wall, my arms on my knees, hiding my face. Why did I say yes? What a stupid idea. Maybe I can still cancel?

"Yukino?"

There's a knock on my door, and after a few seconds Mira comes in. She immediately comes towards me, crouching in front of me as I stare at her in dispair.

"What's wrong?"

"I...I can't go. I said I would come to the club with you guys tonight, but I'm scared. I want to stay home."

All of my friends are going to some club tonight, where apparently some popular DJ is playing. But it's a dance club, and I have never danced in my life. What am I suposed to do there?

"I can't dance Mira. And it will probably be really crowded. What if some guy gets obnoxious? What am I suposed to do then?"

Mira sighs.

"That's why we never go alone. We always go with a large group, so we can look after eachother. Gajeel will be there, and Laxus, Elfman and Jellal. And Gray and Natsu will defend you too if neccessary. You will be safe."

I shake my head, and look down again, but Mira grabs my face with two hands and forces me to look at her.

"Yukino, I know this is new for you. But that is exactly why you have to do it. You said you wanted to be normal. This it what normal girls do, they go out. Your father made you his prissoner, don't go locking yourself up now. If you did that, he would win."

Her words are harsh, but I realise she is right. I didn't get trough all this missery, just to give up on living now. And sitting on my bedroom floor is hardly living. I get up and look at her as Mira gets up too.

"You're right. I should toughen up a little. What do normal girls wear to dance clubs?"

"Whatever they feel comfortable and pretty in. Some wear dresses or skirts. Others wear skinny jeans and tops with cleavage. It's watch and be watched, but I can imagine you don't want to draw attention."

I nod, and walk to my closet. Skirts and dresses are out of the question, so I start going trough my jeans to look for something a bit tight but still comfortable enough to move around in. Mira looks at my little quest for appropriate clothing, and stands right next to me as I pull out a black skinny jeans with a leather look. I thought it looked pretty badass, but it should do for dancing. Mira nods with approval, and goes trough my tops. After a few minutes she gives up, and looks at the few blouses I own. She pulls out a red blouse with a tight fit and short sleeves.

"This should do. Maybe you could put on some make up?"

"I suck at make up."

"Don't worry, I'll help you."

...

...

...

The club is packed. The dancefloor is full of young people jumping to the beat. I see girls grinding their butts into guys, and I feel uncomfortable. No way I'll be doing that. Lucy grabs my hand and pulls at me.

"Come on! Lets go dancing."

I start to protest.

"I don't know Luce, I never..."

But she already pulls me with her, straight to the middle of the dancefloor and starts dancing. Levy, Juvia and some sexy blonde I don't regonise join us, and start dancing too. I have no idea what to do, but I can't just stand here awkwardly. So I look at the other girls, and slowly start to mimic their movements. And once I get the hang of it, I actually seem to enjoy myself. My body just moves to the rythm of the music, and I feel a slight smile on my face. This is fun. I hardly notice the crowd around us.

.

.

(Gajeels POV)

I only came to keep an eye on the girls. Guys at danceclubs never seem to behave. But I really hate being here. The music annoys me, and the way some people look at me is pathetic. Some girls are dressed like they sell their own bodies, while some guys are obviously on acid or something. And I don't even want to think about that guy at the bar, who looks like he could be putting roofies into a girls drink at any given time. They won't serve the younger girls alcohol here, but a rapist doesn't need alcohol.

My eyes scan the crowd untill I find Yukino. She seems to enjoy herself, and even though I feel glad for her, I also feel...jealous? Why do I feel jealous? She is allowed to have fun without me.

"Why don't you go dance with her?"

Mira is next to me, paying too much attention to me, as always.

"I hate dancing."

She nods. She already knew that. I never dance.

"You can keep a better eye on her if you're closer."

I grunt. Mira should find another hobby than getting on my nerves all the time.

"I thought her self defense. If she can't take care of herself by now, it's out of my hands."

"You know you don't mean that."

I mumble some curse at her back as she leaves, to join the others who prefer not to dance. I know very well she is right, but I hate that she knows that. What is it that makes me worry about Yukino that much? At first she just reminded me of Sorano. But Sorano never fought. Yukino always had that spark in her eyes, that told me she wouldn't run. Even if she thought of suicide, she never would've done it. Yukino is a fighter, and I respect that. But how did that turn into worrying?

 _"You are my light, Gajeel."_

I hear her voice as if she was next to me, but it's just a memory. I am her light? What did I do to make her life any better? I flip trough the memories in my mind. Selfdefense can't be one of them. And I can't imagine she was happy about me seeing her bruises. But what about the blacksmith's class? She actually seemed to enjoy that. Maybe it was enough to spend time with her.

My thoughts are interrupted as I hear the music change. The melody is seductive. Evergreen gets a lot of looks from the boys around her, but they quickly look away when Elfman claims her. I see Natsu and Gray get up in the corner of my eye, and they start pushing their way trough the crowd, headed straight for Lucy and Juvia. Guess Gray cares about that crazy woman after all. I look at Levy, who doesn't seem to care and just continues dancing, but Yukino is obviously confused, not sure what to do. And then I see him. A guy I never expected to come to a place like this, and he looms at her with clear lust in his eyes.

"Damnit."

I move away from the wall, and before I know it, I start pushing trough the crowd, on my way to Yukino ,to make sure HE won't touch her. I catch a glimpse of two guys approaching Levy, and I stop moving. They're not far apart, but seperated enough to make it impossible for me to protect them both. There's a short tap on my shoulder, and I turn my head.

"Eric? What are you doing here? "

"Just hanging out. You go to our little fighter. I'll go chase those guys away from Levy."

I need to change my opinion about a few people, obviously. I nod in silence, as Eric makes his way over to Levy, and I get closer to Yukino. I can see that asshole approached her, putting his hands on her hips, and I try to rush over to her. Even if I can't hear a word she says, it's obvious she is telling him to leave her alone. She even tries to walk away. But, as I expected, Midnight won't let her walk away. I can see the full, red moon tattooed on his right upper arm, the exact same spot where Eric has his cobra tattoo. The same spot as my Metal Dragon tattoo. The moment he grabs Serena's upper arm, I grab his wrist and yank his hand off of her.

"Hands off Mac."

Midnight turns towards me, and I slightly step to the right to shield Yukino from him. I softly hear her say my name over the loud music, but I can't allow myself to get distracted now. I might be out of the gang, but the gang will never get out of me.

"Well well."

Midnight looks at me with an evil grin. He's wearing red contacts, as if he doesn't look like a freak already.

"Look who we have here. Our beloved Iron Dragon. You hate clubs."

I don't respond. He'll keep talking anyway.

"I don't like getting interrupted when I'm hunting, Dragon. You don't want to get in trouble now do you? "

His smirk widens, and I see he's not alone. I don't regonise these little punks, so I suppose they're new gangmembers. I can handle them, but I don't want to start a fight here. I don't get a chance to think, though, because Yukino steps around me, and hits Midnight in his face.

"I'm not a fucking deer, you cunt."

I can't believe she did that. She just hit a gangleader. Midnight looks at her with a slight smile.

"The girl got spunk. I like that. It would be no fun if the prey wouldn't run."

He steps forward and grabs Yukino's chin, getting his face close to hers.

"Tell me, little deer, are you scared?"

Once again I push Midnight away from her, saying the only thing I can say to keep him away from her.

"She's mine Mac. Don't you dare touch her."

Midnight combs his hair with his long fingers.

"Now why didn't you say that earlier? You might be out of the gang, but the rules still aply. If you claim her, we won't touch her. But I warn you. If I get the smallest hint that you're lying..."

He chuckles menacingly.

"I'll have her any way and anytime I want."

I have to hold myself back. All I want now is to punch him so hard he'll end up between 6 pieces of wood. But I know my priorities. If I leave her behind now, she'll be in trouble. So I let him and his bodyguards walk away, and when they are at a safe distance, I turn to face Yukino ,and I can see his last remark affected her. Bad.

"What did he mean? Anytime? He'll have me? What gang was he talking about? Who's Iron dragon? And what do you mean "She's mine"? I most certainly am not!"

I quickly look over y shoulder to see if anyone heard her, and see Laxus coming our way.

"Trouble, metalface?"

"No. It's fine."

"Gajeel. I demand an explanation."

I turn to Yukino again when I hear the tension in her voice.

"I'll explain, but not here. Tonight. When we get home ,ok? It's fine Laxus, I'll stay with her untill we leave."

Laxus nods with a frown and goes back to Mira. Yukino looks at me with almost a similar frown. And I have no idea what to do now.

"Dance with me?"

It's a hesitant question, because I really hate dancing, but I have no idea how I have to protect her otherwise. I glance over at Eric and Levy, and my eyes almost pop out of my sockets. Levy is rubbing herself all up against that snake. And he loves it, obviously. Never knew Levy was into assholes. Although, he did offer to protect her. Yukino follows my gaze.

"Is that Cobra? With Levy?!"

Her voice expresses my surprise perfectly, and I nod. She shrugs and turns towards me.

"I never danced with a guy. This is the first time I'm in a club, honestly."

"I thought as much. Just move to the rythm of the music, you can't suck more at dancing than me."

She nervously chuckles, and looks at Lucy and Juvia, now dancing with Natsu and Gray. Juvia is all over Gray, and in such an obsessive way, it makes Yukino blush. Lucy is a bit more modest, and I can basically see Yukino scan Lucy's movements. She turns towards me again, and perfectly copies what Lucy is doing. She shyly puts her arms around my neck and starts swaying her hips to the music. Fuck, I'm in trouble. I was so busy pittying her, I didn't pay attention to her close enough. I knew she had a pretty face. But now she is almost brushing her body against mine, and I like it. A lot. I was paying so much attention to how fragile she looked, I didn't see how hot she looks. I'm a bit taller than her, and that gives me a nice few into her blouse, straight down the soft curves of her...

I mumble a soft curse. Shit. I don't want her to notice this. She interrupts my thoughts.

"If you want to dance you can't just stand there like a pillar."

I look down at her face, trying hard not to look down her blouse, and then look at Natsu. I can't imagine he's a good dancer, and by the looks of him, what he does is pretty simple. His hands are on Lucy's hips, so I slowly and gently put my hands on Yukino's hips. She flinches but doesn't say a thing. Is she forcing herself to do this?

"If you feel uncomfortable dancing with me, we can just go get a drink."

I regret it the moment I say it. I don't want to let her go. But to my relieve and surprise she shakes her head.

"It's ok. I want to learn."

"Learn?"

"How to be someone else than what my father made me."

"So, you're going against everything he told you? Going to clubs, dancing with a guy?"

"Yes."

"You're forcing yourself."

I come to a standstill and she looks up at my face.

"Yes."

Her answer surprises me. She just admits she is forcing herself, like it's nothing.

"You don't have to force it."

"I want to. I don't want to imprison myself, now that I'm finally free of him. I want to fight. I want to live. I want to find out who I am, without being held back by him."

She exhales, and I feel her hand gently stroke my neck.

"Besides, this isn't that bad. As long as it's you, I'm fine. You won't hurt me, right?"

"Never."

The music changes again. This music is made for slowdancing. Serena looks at Lucy and Natsu again, but it doesn't look like she's scanning now. She looks a bit alarmed.

"That is a bit too close for my taste."

"I agree. Want to get something to drink?"

Yukino nods, and I carefully wrap my arm around her shoulders to get her out of the crowd as fast as I can. As soon as we reach the bar, I let go of her, and grab her aa stool. I order a beer, show the bartender my ID and ask her what she wants. She orders a tonic, and then looks at my beer.

"Can I have a sip of that? I never tasted beer. My father drank a lot of that stuff."

"Did he?"

I start to see a clear Image of what her father must have been like. A drunk pervert.

"Yes. In fact, he and Mike were hammered the last time he...you know."

This is the first time she mentions the abuse, and I try to pay attention to her body language. She's tensed. Forcing herself again. So I stay quiet. I won't force her to talk anymore about it.

"Gajeel?"

"Mh?"

"How did you know? About what he did the last time? You said I walked like I got...got..."

Her voice fades. I know what she means. I said she walked like she got buttfucked. Too bad I was right.

"Well..."

How do I explain how I know, without making this awkward? She makes it easy.

"I mean, I don't expect you're a virgin."

"Uh, no. I'm not."

"So...Did you...like...do that to a girl?"

"I've tried a few different things, yeah. But I was never rough."

I scratch the back of my head, emberassed, and I feel myself blushing a bit.

"Well, not unless they wanted me to be."

Yukino stares at her glass, twisting it around. Suddenly she grabs my beer and takes a huge gulp, before puttting it before me again. She shivers.

"Ew. "

I can't help but chuckle a bit as I take a sip myself. I'm wondering what my confession about my sexlife does to her. All she knows is what her father did to her. That is kind of putting everything in the wrong perspective.

"Maybe you should talk to Mira about this. I'm sure she is more cut out for this than I am."

"Yes, maybe I'll do that. Although she said the same thing once. The first time at the clinic when I talked to her. She said It wasn't all bad, but that some people liked it rough. I can't understand how though."

Mira said that? What was she thinking.

"Just ask her about her experience. Or something. I can't tell you what it's like for girls. But I can tell you, it's not supposed to hurt. And it shouldn't be forced. What your father did...It completely deforms your idea of sex. It's supposed to be nice."

"Nice?"

"Yeah. Enjoyable. Have you ever...nevermind."

I can't believe I was almost about to aske her if she ever touched herself, or If she ever felt something nice. Ofcourse she didn't. He ruined that."

"No, tell me. Don't protect me."

"Fine. I wanted to ask if you ever, like, uhm."

Damn this is awkward. I never have these conversations with girls. It's a good thing the music is loud so nobody else can hear us.

"Have you ever touched yourself? You know, the way he did?"

Yukino looks shocked, and scared.

"Why would I do that?"

I clear my troath. Good god.

"To please yourself."

Yukino's face expression goes from shocked to surprised, like I just told a five year old Santa isn't real. She leans in closer and whispers.

"I can do that?"

I nod, emberassed. God, this girl is giving me a hard time. And a hard dick. Having this kind of conversation isn't helping me in any way.

"How?"

"You should really ask Mira. This is getting kinda awkward, and I really wouldn't be able to tell you. You need a girl to explain that."

"Explain what?"

Mira's voice interrupts our conversation, and for a moment I wonder how long she's been standing behind us. I nod at Yukino.

"She'll tell you when she's ready. I'm gonna take her home now. She looks exhausted."

It's true. I can see she isn't used to this kind of thing. All the impressions this night has been throwing at her are wearing her out. Mira nods.

"Sure, I won't be late either. Make sure she takes her meds."

I nod and gesture for Yukino to follow me, and then halt, because that makes me look like an ass. She's not a dog. I look at her and smile slightly.

" if I give you a ride?"

"No, that's fine. Thank you."

"No problem newbie."


	13. Explanations

**CH 13: Explanations**

(Gajeels POV)

"So. You said you would explain?"

"My God, Newbie. We're not even out of the parking lot yet."

"Why waste time? It's a fifteen minute drive home, you might as well start explaining now."

I sigh. I can't believe her. She won't let me catch a break tonight ,will she?

"Ok. What first?"

"Who was that guy?"

"His name is Macbeth. Most people call him Midnight, or Brain. He is the leader of the gang I got myself into when I got out of prison."

"Why Midnight?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why do they call him that?"

"Oh. Because he mostly operates at night. Some say he's a vampire, because he usually sleeps during the day."

Yukino nods with a smile. I can understand the idea of a vampire is a bit ridiculous, even though he did look the part with those colored lenses.

"So, you were a part of his gang. Is that why he called you Iron dragon? Was that your nickname or something?"

I nod in silence, waiting for the next question.

"Why Iron Dragon?"

"I was always good with iron and metal. I was the gang's wielder. I made weapons out of scrapmetal. And other stuff. Furniture. My own piercings. I even designed a special kind of nails that I could spit at whoever was trying to fight me. That's why Midnight called me Iron Dragon. I 'breathed' metal instead of fire."

Yukino is silent for a while. I look at her sideways shortly, only long enough to see she's frowning. I brake for a red light, and look at her. Just as I think she's done asking questions for now, she looks at me.

"Did you ever kill someone? Besides your stepfather?"

"No. I did seriously injure a lot of people though."

She nods. I can tell by her expression the subject is closed to her. No longer interested in my gang life she moves on to the next subject.

"How many girls have you been with?"

"Uh, let me think. More than ten anyway. But not more than fifteen. I wasn't really monogamous in my gang days. The strongest guys in the gang had their own groupies, and I had some girlfriends. Sort of."

Yukino is quiet again. I pull up when the light turns green, waiting for her next question, but she stays quiet untill we park in front of our dorm. When I shut off the engine, she turns in her seat, facing me.

"Did you like that life?"

"No."

My fast, short answer surprises her, and I feel it needs more explanation.

"It was empty. I didn't know where to go, and I had nowhere to direct my anger to. Midnight was a solution. Temporary at that, but still. But it didn't mean anything."

"And the girls? Did you love any of them?"

"No. They were disposable. I didn't care about them, they didn't care about me."

When she stays quiet for quite some time, I take a deep breath.

"I'm not that person anymore. Ever since I quit the gang I haven't been with anyone. And that's three or four years now. I've learned not to live an empty life."

Yukino rubs her eyes, but not because she's tired. The way she does it makes it look like she is thinking over everything I just told her. Without another word she gets out of the car and I follow in silence. We go upstairs in silence, she opens the door to their appartment in silence, and leaves the door open for me to follow. And I follow in silence. She goes into her room, and stays there for five minutes, and just when I think she won't come back, she does. She changed her clothes, and holds a small, plastic jar and screws off the lid. She shows me the meds she has to take, and I nod.

"You don't even have to remind me."

She goes to the kitchen, and I follow again, to make sure she takes the meds. When she's done, she looks at me.

"Want something to drink?"

"No, thanks. I'm good."

We go into the livingroom, and she sits down on the couch, pulling her legs up. It seems like we're not done talking yet.

...

...

...

(Yukino's POV)

Fifteen girls, maybe. But not more. I wonder why that part bothers me more than him spitting nails at people. Dancing with him tonight was tense, but not too bad. And he protected me. And claimed I was his. The memory brings a slight blush to my face, but also another question.

"Why did you tell him I was yours? He seemed to back off after that."

"Gang rule. If a girl is already involved with a gangmember, the others leave her alone. That doesn't go for the groupies though. They were sluts."

He sits down next to me, and stares at me with an intense gaze. It makes me nervous.

"Does it bother you that I said you were mine? I only said that to make him back off."

I shake my head. I was confused when he said it, but I'm not angry at Gajeel for saying that. It kinda reminds me of something my father used to say.

 _"You're mine, little slut."_

"No!"

Gajeel looks at me in surprise. My respons is a bit too much for the question he asked.

"It reminded me of my father a bit. He used to say that I was his little slut. And I'm not."

"Indeed. You are nobody's slut. You're not a slut at all."

"I know. I have... accepted it was not my fault."

Gajeel frowns.

"Did you ever think it was?"

I nod and start telling him everything I told Mira. How my father was drunk the first time he touched me. How my mother caught us, and he blamed me for the fact she left, and guilttripped me into allowing him to do what he wanted. Gajeel listens in silence, even though I start crying at some point. He doesn't seem to be annoyed by my tears, although I did expect him to be. He hands me the box of tissues that was on the coffeetable and gets up to go to the kitchen, only to come back with a glass of water for me.

"Have you ever talked to your mother after that?"

I shake my head again.

"I couldn't contact her; he prevented that. But she didn't contact me either."

"Maybe he prevented her too."

Gajeels soft words slowly get trough to me. I allways assumed my mother didn't contact me because I willingly took the blame. But what if she did?

"If he did..."

I hesitate.

"If he did, you should try to contact her. Tomorrow maybe. I'll help you if you want?"

I smile a small smile at him and nod.

"Yes, please. Thank you."

"No problem."

Gajeel turns the watch around his left wrist to look at it, and gets up.

"I should go. It's getting late, and you need to sleep."

I don't want him to go yet, but I have no idea what to say anymore. I have no questions for him. But maybe...Maybe I can push my limits a little bit more today.

Gajeel already got up and walks towards the appartment door. I follow him to say goodnight, and then hesitate at the door. He sees my hesitation; as always he sees everything.

"What's the matter newbie?"

"I... I uh...I wanted to ask one more thing before you leave."

"What is it?"

"If... If a guy and girl go on a date, what would a normal ending to that date be?"

"Huh? A kiss I think. I mean, not everybody does that, depends if it's the first date, or if they have been dating for quite some time. Why d'ya ask?"

"What's normal for a first date? Would a kiss be considered the normal thing to do?"

"I guess so. Why?"

I shrug and stare at my bare feet. I have no idea how to continue now. And honestly I'm scared. Despite everything my father did, he never kissed me. I've never been kissed by anyone for that matter. At one hand I think that might enable me to try it, but on the other hand, I'm not sure how I will react to fysical contact. And with Gajeel. Well, I feel more comfortable with him than any other guy, but do I like him like that? I don't want to see him as disposable.

"You've never been kissed, have you?"

He reads my mind once again. I slowly shake my head, emberassed. It sounds like something any girl my age should've experienced. And even though I know I've been trough more than anyone should ever experience, I feel a little green. I make no sense. Not even to myself.

I silently shake my head as an answer to his question.

"Ever?"

He sounds surprised.

"No, never. My father wasn't really tender."

I hear how bitter my voice sounds and I regret it. It's not Gajeels fault I'm such a mess.

"So why did you ask me if a kiss would be normal for a first date?"

"I don't know. I thought, maybe I would be able to kiss someone. But I feel bad for thinking that way. Like I would use a guy to test my limits."

"You wanted to ask me if I would kiss you?"

The surprise in his voice is so obvious I look up to see his face. His eyebrows are both raised so high, they could almost touch his hairline, and his eyes look as big as medals. My face flushes red as I slowly nod. That was exactly what I wanted to ask.

"Are you sure?"

"What do you mean?"

"Are you sure you want to push yourself like that?"

"Yes."

"Allright then."

I look at him in surprise. Is he serious? He obviously is, because he steps closer, and leans down , getting his face real close to mine. I can feel his breath on my skin and shiver. He makes an arrogant face, that makes it obvious he doesn't really believe I'm sure about this. Like I don't know what I want. And that kinda pisses me off.

"Go ahead then. If you want to kiss me, I'm right here. If you dare, that is. You look kinda scared newbie.'

That does it. I will not be ridiculed over something small like a kiss. I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer, pressing my lips against his firmly. I flinch at the contact, and I hear him inhale trough his nose in surprise. I look him in the eye, as I kiss him, and he pulls back.

"This doesn't work."

I don't get it. But Gajeel makes it very obvious for me.

"Close your eyes."

"What?"

I'm not sure if I can handle that. If I can't see him coming, how am I going to prepare for it?"

"You shouldn't see a kiss, you should feel it. You're paying too much attention to my face now. Close your eyes. I promise I won't hurt you. Try to trust me. I know that's hard."

I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

"I trust you."

I feel Gajeels hands on my shoulders as he gently pushes me back into the appartment. He softly closes the door, and pushes me against a wall, slowly and gently. I'm not sure if I like to be sandwiched between him and the wall, but I don't protest , I just wait. I hear him putting his hands against the wall, right next to my body. His breath is on my face, and the next second I feel a soft pressure against my lips. It's soft, warm, moist. My heartbeat excelerates for no obvious reason. His hands slide down the wall, and I feel his body against mine. I start to panick, because I feel trapped,but then his hand is on my cheek, caressing me. Rubbing his thumb over my cheekbone. I don't know why, but it feels so...so...kind.  
I burst into tears, and Gajeel breaks contact, confused.

"I'm sorry, what did I do?"

"No, It's not...It wasn't...It was nice."

"You're crying because it was nice."

It's not a question. More like a surprised statement. And I nod.

"I can't remember I've ever been touched in such a kind way. So warm and soft."

I sob and lean into him automatically, resting my forhead against his chest, and he starts rubbing my back. We stay like that for I don't know how long, but we could've stayed like that even longer if it wasn't for Mira opening the door, and ofcourse immediately assuming something bad happened.

"Gajeel! Why is she crying? What did you do? Yukino, are you allright?"

Laxus looks at us from the entance of the appartment. Pissed.

"Mira, I'm fine. He just kissed me."

Oops, that came out wrong.

"Good one, newbie."

"HE DID WHAT?!"

Uh oh.

"Mira, listen, let me explain."

"You don't get to explain! How dare you? You dirty..."

I need to set things straight.

"SHUT UP!"

Mira and Laxus look at me in surprise, completely taken aback by my sudden burst of anger. Gajeel looks relieved, probably because it looked like Laxus was going to kill him, and Mira didn't mind helping with that. Also, because it is obvious I am not angry at him.

"I asked him to."

Mira blinks.

"What?"

"I asked him to kiss me. I've never been kissed Mira. All I know is pain, and roughness. I never felt what a kiss was like. And Gajeel is the only one I felt comfortable enough with to ask."

I smile at Gajeel.

"And I liked it."

...

...

...

Gajeel and Laxus left, after I ensured Mira and Laxus that I wasn't crying because Gajeel kissed me. Now, Mira is next to me on my bed, waiting for an explanation. This seems to be a night of explanations.

"He was sweet about it, that's all. He touched my cheek, caressing. I never felt that before. It just made me so happy I started crying."

"My goodness, I thought he hurt you."

Mira hugs me, another thing I am not used to. And this too feels nice. I hesitantly put my arms around her, and before I know, I pull her closer and rest my head on her shoulder with a deep sigh.

"What is it, Yukino?"

"This is nice. I think I like hugs."

Mira stays silent for a few seconds, and then leans back to look at me.

"When is the last time you were hugged?"

"I don't know."

"My god...poor are essential. Love is essential. Without that we die."

"That might explain why I alway felt so numb."

Mira lets go of me completely, studying my face, while she folds her hands in her lap. When she is convinced I'm not going to cry again, she looks at me questioningly.

"What was it you needed a girl for to talk about?"

" said there was a way a girl can pleasure herself. I think I should try that. I remember you said sex isn't all bad, but I'm not going to try the real thing. I should love someone for that right?"

I continue when Mira nods.

"Kissing Gajeel felt surprisingly good, but I'm not sure how I feel about him. I don't want to rush things either. So how am I suposed to enjoy stuff like that by myself?"

"Well, you rub yourself down there. You can put your fingers inside if you like, but usually it's enough to rub your clit. That's something someone else could do for you too, if you're not ready for the real thing. But that's something for later. Then there's toys."

"Toys?"

"Dildos, Vibrators, that kind of stuff. You know what those things are, right?"

I shake my head, emberassed and confused. I have no idea what she's talking about. Mira sighs and gets up.

"Wait a second."

She leaves the room, and comes back a few minutes later with two thick, round, colored sticks in her hand, that slightly resemble a reasonably large manhood. I blush as I realise what these are for. Mira sits in front of me and holds both items out to me to see.

"The left one is a dildo. You have to move it yourself, so you can do it as slow or as fast as you want. It basically just goes in and out of you, depending on what you do. The right one is a vibrator. It basically does the same thing, but right here is a button. It has three different stages of vibration. So you can pick whatever feels right for you. These are brand new. I'll leave them with you. You don't have to use them, but if you want to, you can. Don't be afraid that i'll hear the vibrator. I won't."

"My god."

I hesitantly take them from her, like it's something dirty. And to me it is. I can't imagine I'll ever put something inside of me again. The memory is too fresh. It'll hurt. I quickly put the toys away,out of sight. I'll think about what I'll do with them. I look at Mira again, who seems to be a bit amused about my emberassment towards the toys.

"How do I ...well...rub myself?"

Mira sighs and looks at me for a few seconds.

"Do you trust me?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Would you allow me to show you how good it can be?"

"How?"

I have no idea where she's going with this.

"By allowing me to touch you."

Her words shock me. She wants to touch me? Down there? Is she..

"Are you into girls?"

Mira laughs softly.

"No, not at all. I just want you to feel what it should be like, and if I can help you, I will. But you need to trust me, for me to do that. It might remind you of what your father did, but I promise you, if you give me a chance, it will be completely different."

I think about it. I don't know what I should do. I want to erase the memory of my father and replace it with good things. But to let Mira touch me? On the other hand, I need to know this. It's time to chase the demons. So I nod.

"Allright. what do I do?"

"Take of your clothes, and sit on the edge of the bed."

"All my clothes?"

"No, you don't have to take off your underwear."

I nod, and start undressing myself. When I'm in my underwear I nervously sit down on the edge of my bed like Mira told me. She crawls behind me, on her knees and puts her hands on my waist.

"Don't be afraid. If you want me to stop, you only have to say so. Allright?"

"Yes."

"Close your eyes."

For the second time that evening I close my eyes. I feel her breath on my neck as she starts to caress my sides, gently. I'm startled by her soft lips on my neck and gasp, but don't move. What is this I'm feeling? Mira kisses by neck, up and down, from my ear to my shoulder, as her left hand strokes my side upwards, to rest on my left breast. She gently massages my breast trough my bra, and I hear how my breathing becomes shallow as I panick. This reminds me of my father so much. I'm on the verge of telling her to stop, when she whispers in my ear.

"It's me, relax."

And I do. And slowly I start to enjoy her touch. I feel my nipple getting hard, something that never happened to me.

"Mira, why is my nipple getting hard?"

"Because your body knows what it likes. Shhh."

I believe her. It doesn't feel bad. I'm not sure if I like it, but it's not bad. An electric shock goes trough my body when her right hand slides down, over my belly, to the edge of my panties.

"Ah...?"

Mira slowly slides her hand under the fabric, going down even lower.

"Mira..."

"Do you want me to stop?'

"No...No ,it's ok."

She kisses my neck again, and when her hand reaches my soft spot, I remember what my father did the first time, the only time I ever had an orgasm. Is that going to happen? I try not to think of that,and focus on what is happening now. I jolt up a bit when she reaches my nub and starts rubbing it softly. My goodness...This feels so good.

"Mh...Mira..."

I lean my head back to rest on her shoulder. Mira rubs my soft spot a little faster, and I start feeling funny. There's a hot, tingling sensation in my crotch, getting stronger the more Mira rubs me. I feel my muscles tense and relax in a way I can't control, and I start breathing faster. I'm panting. Mira's left hand slides into my bra, directly touching my breast, rubbing her thumb over my hard nipple.

"Oh, my god. Mira...What's...What's happening?"

"You're about to have an orgasm."

The hot sensation in my crotch increases, and Mira continues kissing my neck again, licking my earlobe every now and then. Suddenly it feels like all the muscles in my lower belly and crotch tense all at once, and I explode. In an attempt to stay quiet, I bite my lip, but I can't help moaning loudly. When my body calms down again, Mira pulls her hands out of my underwear, and gently pats my back.

"There you go. Well done. How was that?"

I'm still panting a bit.

"That was amazing. I never felt that way before. Not even when he did it the first time, when I didn't realise it was wrong. I feel tingly, but also kind of tired."

"You've pushed your limits a lot today. Clean up in the bathroom and go to sleep. Maybe, after the weekend, you can go back to school."

"Allright."

I get up to go to the bathroom, but turn around at Mira, who's leaving my room.

"Mira?"

She looks back at me with raised eyebrows.

"Thank you."

"Welcome sweetheart."

She smiles, and then closes the door.  
Maybe this whole learning process won't be so bad after all.


	14. Conflicted

**CH 14: Conflicted**

(gajeel POV)

I put my jacket over a chair. I kick off my shoes as soon as I enter my bedroom and drop myself on my bed. Rolling over on my back, I put my arm over my eyes.

I can't believe I kissed her. I can't believe she asked me from that crazy time she kissed me while she was in the 'assylum', she had never been kissed before. And that doesn't really count. She probably can't even remember. It was Kayleigh who kissed me. Not Yukino.

She shouldn't force herself so much, but tonight I'm glad she did. She claimed she liked it. That my tenderness made her cry. And I really hope that wasn't a lie. That she didn't just say that to silence me. To make sure I wouldn't worry. But she smiled when she told Mira she liked it.

She smiled. I hardly ever see her smile. And her eyes never smile along. I wonder what she looks like when her eyes smile. But I'm pretty sure she'll be beautifull. I wonder what it is about her that makes me feel so mixed up. I don't want to hurt her. I even want to protect her. But right now, all I can think off is how it felt when I kissed her. How it felt to push her against the wall. How soft her cheek was under my hand.

Fuck.

I might actually be in love with this girl.

...

...

...

(Yukino's POV)

I wake up more relaxed than ever. I can't believe how well I slept tonight. It's definitely the first time I ever slept this well, without pills that is. When I was in the psychiatric hospital, they gave me meds to sleep. Otherwise I would have nightmares. But that wasn't the case tonight.

I get out of bed with an energetic hop. When I open the curtains the sun is just rising above the bright pink cherryblossom trees that grow along the river. Today, Gajeel will help me find my mother. I'm as excited as I am scared, but I miss her. And odds are, my father really did prevent her from contacting me. Maybe that was the reason we moved around that much.

I quickly slide into my silk bathrobe, wich was a gift from Lucy she gave me when I came out of the 'assylum'. I know it's not really an assylum, but that's what Gajeel calls it mockingly, and joking about it like that makes it easier to put those months behind me.

I leave my room and head straight for the kitchen to make coffee. I can't hear Mira, so I'm not sure if she's awake or out already. Maybe she didn't even sleep at home last night. Laxus has an appartment in the school building, like the headmaster. They keep an eye on the building at night. Maybe Mira went there last night. After all,since I moved in with her, Laxus hasn't been here at all. At least, not during the night. I hate that I'm coming between them, but Mira assured me she doesn't want me to worry, and that Laxus understood and agreed to the new arrangements. It's only temporary anyway. As soon as Mira trusts me to take my meds...

O! Meds.

I sprint back to my room, and take the pills from my nightstand. When I shake two of them out of the small container, I see it's almost empty. I need to get a refill.

It surprises me how little I care about the meds. They help. Kayleigh hated them, but I haven't heard her in months. So I gladly take them, if that keeps her out.

I head back to the kitchen with the container and put it on the counter.

"Morning."

I jolt, as I didn't hear Mira coming, but turn around to greet her.

"Goodmorning Mira! Did you sleep well?"

Mira smiles.

"I sure did. I don't have to ask you if you slept well. I can see you did. You look well rested and you seem to be in a good mood."

"I am. Gajeel is going to help me find my mother today."

Mira looks at me in silence. I can see she is a bit surprised.

"What? You don't think it's a good idea to find my mother?"

"Oh, no, that's not it. I'm just surprised at how helpfull Gajeel is when it comes to you. I wonder..."

Mira trails off in silence, and pours herself some coffee, deep in thought. Then she turns towards me again, with a slight smile.

"Are you going to his appartment?"

Uh. Am I?

...

...

...

(gajeel POV)

I've been awake for an hour, but I don't really feel like getting up. I had a rough night, since I kept seeing her face in my dreams. Crying. Scared. But also smiling, while Midnight had his arm wrapped around her. And finally...moaning my name while I was on top of her. This girl is driving me crazy. And the prospect of helping her finding her mom today, doens't make it better. I'll still do it, I promised, sort of. But it means I'll be close to her all day, and I'm starting to think she is pretty bad for my health.

I hear a short tap on the appartment door. I didn't hear Natsu leave, so he can open the door. But after a minute there's another tap, and Natsu isn't opening up.

"Natsu! Someone's at the door!"

No response, apart from another tap, a little louder this time.

"Jeez."

I get up and march out of my bedroom, noticing a piece of paper on the counter that has Natsu's handwriting on it.

 _"AT LUCY'S "_

The moron needs to work on his handwriting. There's another tap on the door, this time followed by an all to familliar voice,calling out to me softly.

"Gajeel? Are you there?"

Yukino. She's early. At least, I think she is. What time is it anyway?

"Coming."

I go to the door and open it wide, to see the object of last nights dreams right in front of me, with a small box in her right hand, and a tray with starbucks coffee in the other. Her eyes pop open in surprise as they fix on my lower half,and I follow her gaze, to see I'm only wearing boxers. The tighter kind.

"Shit. Sorry."

I leave the door open and run to my room to get my clothes. I just opened the door in my underwear, while I knew it was her. Smart. Really smart. I softly curse myself for my lack of thinking, when I hear the sound of a cupboard being opened and closed. What is she doing?

Finally dressed, I go out to the livingroom to see that she found the plates, put them on the coffee table, and she's now sitting on the couch, unpacking whatever was in the box. Smells like breakfast.

"You brought me breakfast?"

She looks up, slightly blushing, and nods.

"Yes. I thought that was the least I could do to thank you for all your help."

"You don't have to thank me."

She shakes her head while she takes out some chocolate filled croissants, some scones with cream and jelly, and fruit.

"No, I DO have to thank you."

She looks me straight in the eye with a very serious look.

"I don't think you realise how much you did for me. Without you, I probably wouldn't be here."

I frown. She definitely gives me too much credit. I sit next to her on the couch, carefull not to sit too close. I don't want to startle her, but I also do this to protect myself. I doesn't seem like a good idea to start turning my dream into reality. I feel myself become arroused at the mere memory of my last dream, and bite the inside of my cheek.

"What do you mean, you wouldn't be here?"

I need to get my mind somewhere else. She doesn't notice anything, and starts answering my question as she puts a large Cafe Latte in front of me.

"Well, for starters. You noticed my bruises. I didn't like that at that time, but if you hadn't seen something was wrong, I'd probably never would've agreed to you teaching me how to fight. If you wouldn't have thought me how to fight, I never would have been confident enough to stand up to my father. And then I would still be his slave now. You could have called to police, but I would've denied everything out of fear for him. And then there's what happened at the 'assylum'."

I look at her a bit confused. She's thankfull for all of those little, and if you aske me, normal, things.

"What do you mean, what happened in the 'assylum'?"

"When you played Beethoven for me. That gave me the chance to get back in control. Wich lead to taking the medication I needed to shut Kayleigh up. So, If not for you, I might still be in the 'assylum'. So I litterally wouldn't be here if not for you."

"You give me to much credit."

To hide my emberassment I quickly take a sip of my coffee. It's way too hot, and I have to restrain myself from letting her notice I just burned my tongue, but the taste is perfect.

"How did you now I liked this?"

It's my favorite kind of coffee. Strong, with milk, no sugar. And lots of it.

"Mira told me. It was kind of her idea to bring breakfast. I wanted to repay you somehow, but I didn't know how. She told me that was your favorite kind of coffee, but that you're a sweettooth when it comes to food. Breakfast at least. You'd eat a lot of meat at diner."

She blushes as she realises she basically just admitted her and Mira have been talking about me enough for her to know exactly what I like to eat, but continues displaying the food on the table. She takes two scones and one croissant for herself and shoves the rest to my plate. Wich means four scones and four croissants. And she hasn't even started dividing the fruit.

"I guess Mira also told you I have a big appetite?"

She almost chokes on her drink, hastily puts down her beverage, and wipes her mouth.

"Uhm. Yes. She did. She also warned me that if this will take long, I might have to make sure we take a lunchbreak, because you get cranky when you're hungry."

I can't help but smile a little.

"All men do. But apparently you were a bit worried about coming here if you did so much effort to please me."

She blushes, but stays quiet. I hit the mark obviously. She is too easy to read sometimes.

"Are you nervous for being here with me? Alone?"

I can hear her swallow audibly, and I really have to try not to laugh.

"Well...no. Not nervous. Uhm. It's...I'm..."

This time I chuckle. She is so obviously nervous.

"If this is about us kissing last night, don't worry. I don't expect anything from you. It's not like I'll immediately expect you to be my girlfriend or something."

She sighs. She's relieved, but there's also some sort of conflict in her eyes, and I have no Idea why. It's only there for a brief moment, because she seems to disagree with my earlier statement.

"You say I give you too much credit. You're wrong. It is YOU who doesnt'give yourself ENOUGH credit. I know you did some bad things in the past, but you are not a bad pesron Gajeel. I mean..."

She looks at me with a shy smile.

"If I like you more than anyone else here, that does say something, right?"

She likes me more than anyone else? How's that possible? I'be been a total dick at some times.

"Maybe you just needed soemone to tell you the truth even if it wasn't nice. And someone to see trough everything. I just happen to be an asshole who doesn't care if I hurt someone, and I'm not an idiot."

She shakes her head furiously. She seems to have her mind set on convincing me I'm a good person.

"No. An asshole wouldn't have treated me like you did. And If you didn't care, Why did you protect me from Cobra? And Midnight? Why did you prevent me from becoming a murderer? Right from the start you've been helping me. If you don't care, then why?"

And there she puts me on the spot. I can't answer her. I have no idea. All I know, is that this girl looked like a mouse, while her eyes had the strength of a lion's.

"I respected you."

It's true. I did. I still do. But she had something captiviting about her.

"I admired your strength. I could see you were miserable, but you never showed it. You smiled at Lucy,like you never knew sadness. You played the piano, like you lived only for music. With everything you did, there was so much warmth and passion coming from you. Sorano crumbled and broke down under the circumstances. You on the other hand..."

"I molded it into something I could use."

I look at her. There's tears blinking in her eyes as I nod.

"Indeed. You used your weakness to become strong. You say I did all of this, but that's not true. I just gave you a push. You did the rest yourself."

We both stay quiet for a while. This might be the most sentimental conversation I ever had, and I don't even feel awkward about it. Not with her. I told her the worst of me, and she didn't run. I've seen the worst of her, and here she is.

We eat our breakfast in silence, and clean up afterwards.

"So, how do we find my mother?"

While I set the plates in the sink, I look at her sideways.

"Well, a name would help. And anything else you can her age, birthday, her girl's name maybe."

"Girl's name?"

"Her last name before she married your father. I assume she got a divorce when she left, so she might go by her own name now."

"I don't know her girl's name. I can't remember."

"That's fine. Just tell me what you do know."

I grab a pen and paper and sit down at the kitchen table. She takes the seat opposite of me, leaning her chin on her right hand with a thoughtfull look.

"Her name is Brannagh. She is originally from Ireland. She told me her parents named her thus, because her hair was as black as a raven when she was born. It still is. She has light green eyes though. A rare beauty people called her. She had a slender figure. I think a little like mine. She was the modern snowwhite. Fair skin, hair as black as ebony. She was about twenty-eight when she left, I think. So she must be close to fourty now. It'll be my birthday soon."

"When?"

She looks at me in surprise and confusion. After all she told me of her mother, her birthday is the only thing I respond to.

"Uhm. In July. Right before the finals."

Right. Finals.

"What about that? You think you'll be able to come to school and pass the finals, so you can be in senior year next year?"

She nods with a slight smile.

"Mira says I can go back to school on monday. Apperently I made good progress."

"With what?"

"My mental state. And I've been keeping up with classes, because Mira allways brought me my homework, and let me do the tests in her office. So I'm not really behind on anything."

"How about music?"

"I've been practicing the violin trice every week. Levy says I have talent. Miss Kinana told Mira that if I play on the spring festival in two weeks, I might get extra credit and a grade to help me catch up a little."

"Will you?"

Her mother is forgotten for a moment. I really want her to come back to school. Maybe I can even convince her to take weilding class with me next year, but then she has to pass. So everything she can do to pass, would be good.

She nods.

"Yes, I intend to."

"What will you be playing?"

"I've been practicing on my favorite song from Apocalyptica. It's difficult, because officially they play it on cello's, but with practice it's doable."

"Well, If you come back to school, you'll have plenty of time for practice. The spring festival is in two weeks, so all creative classes or art classes are about the springfestival now. Only Mathmatics and languages are what they're suposed to be."

Yukino is quiet for a while. I can see she's thinking about something.

"It would be nice if my mother could come."

I look down at the notes I made. It's not much, but we should be able to find something.

"Well, we can go to the police station if you want. The police officer here is an old friend off mine."

...

...

...

(Yukino's Pov)

Gajeel goes ahead down the stairs of the dorm, leading me to the parking lot. But instead of heading to his car like I expected, he heads to a garagebox, opens it, and reveals a shiny motorbike.

"Mind riding this?"

I shake my head, even though I'm scared. I've never been on any of these before. In a few months I'll be legally old enough to get a license, but I think I prefer cars.

Gajeel hands me a helmet, and a motorjacket that is way too big for me. I reluctantly put both on, and stand still while Gajeel checks if I put the helmet on right. When he is sattisfied, he takes the motorbike out of the garage, locks the door, and gets on the motorbike, immediately starting the engine. He looks over his shoulder.

"Get on, newbie."

I take a deep breath and climb onto the growling beast, close behind Gajeel. He puts my feet on the right footrests. He looks over his shoulder again.

"Hold on to me."

Wait,what?

He notices my hesitation and grabs my left hand with his, putting it around his waist, pulling my chest against his back in the process.

"You'll fall off if you don't hold on tight."

That idea is enough to wrap my right arm around him too, and as soon as I do, Gajeel hits the gas, and we basically fly out of the parking lot. My god, this is great. The thrill, the speed! The air blowing passed us as Gajeel makes his way trough the traffic. It's all great. I relax a little, and put my hands on his Gajeels sides, sitting up a bit more straight. Now I can see the road passing underneath us, and I really feel like we're flying. In a burst of enthousaism I throw my head back and cheer as loud as I can.

...

...

...

(Gajeel POV)

"WOOOHOOOOOO!"

I can't help but smile as I hear Yukino cheer. She's yelling so loud I can hear her over the engine, the noise of the wind and the traffic. I've never heard her so happy and energetic. And it feels good.

I pull up in front of the police station, wait for her to get off, and then make sure nobody can steal my motorbike. Yukino takes of her helmet,and looks at me, smiling excitedly. And now I know what she looks like if her eyes smile. Her eyes sparkle like stars, and they light up, like she captured the moon in them. It lights up her whole face, wich is flushed with that same excitement.

"That was awesome."

I grin.

"I know."

I lead the way into the police station, and head straight for the office that belongs to the chief of police, after greeting the lady behind the desk at the entrance. They know me all to well. I knock on the door, and wait. A low bass voice greets me.

"Enter."

I open the door and the chief looks up, and smiles. He's in his early fourties, but nobody would ever guess that, because he still looks like he's thirty.

"Well well, mister Redfox. That has been a while. What mess did you get into this time?"

"Hey Ryan. No mess this time, I'm here for her."

I point over my shoulder with my thumb, and Ryan looks like he didn't even notice Yukino at first.

"Well, hello, young lady."

He holds out his hand and as Yukino shakes it, he introduces himself.

"Ryan McGyllan. What can I do for you?"

He gives me a quick surprised look. I know what he thinks. ' What is a girl like her doing with scum like you?' But I just shrug, and Ryan looks back at her.

"I'm looking for my mother."

"Take a seat and explain. Is she missing?"

We sit down, and Yukino folds her hands in her lap.

"Well,yes and no. She is not reported as a missing person, but I haven't seen her in ten years. My parents got divorced, and my father made it impossible for her to contact her a year after she left."

Ryan scratched his head and frowns.

"And where is your father now?"

Yukino sighs, takes a quick glance at me, and says:

"In jail ,sir."

"I see."

He opens his laptop, waits for it to start up, and when it finally does he types and clicks a lot.

"Well, I could see if I can get into the national system of Personal files. One moment."

He presses a button on his phone.

"Barbara, get me three coffees please."

 _"Yes, sir, right away."_

After that short conversation he picks up the phone , dials a number and waits for someone to pick up. There's a sound on the other end, but I can't make anything of it.

"Yes. This is Ryan McGyllan, from Magnolia. I need access to the Personal Files. Yes, I am looking for someone."

He writes something on a notepad and hums.

"Mh, yes. Yes thank you, Bradley."

He hangs up again, types some number on his laptop, and waits. I assume it's some kind of validation code to grant him acess, but ,God it takes long. Yukino is nervous too. She's fidgetting, not looking up even once.

"Allrighty then."

Ryan sounds cheerfull, and looks at Serena.

"Well, miss. What's your mother's name?"

"Brannagh."

"Last name?"

"Uhm. I only know her last name was Agria when she was married to my father. I don't know if she still goes by that name. I don't think so."

"Agria?"

Ryan looks at her, deep in thought.

"You're the Agria girl?"

Idiot.

"My name is Yukino."

Yukino sounds calm, wich surprises me. She usually doesn't like the reference to her father.

"I see, I'm sorry. That was stupid of me."

Ryan quickly apologizes, and starts searching on his laptop again. After a while he frowns.

"There is no record of a woman with that name at all."

Yukino doesn't look too surprised. I think she doesn't realise how weird that is.

"If she doesn't go by that name anymore, that makes sense right?"

Ryan looks at her, almost sad.

"No not really. Because there should at least be a record of her being married to your father. In that case there should be a file that links her to him, but there isn't. In fact, their wedding papers are not there either. Strange. Very strange."

Yukino looks at me helplessly. Finding her mother might be more difficult than we thought.

...

...

...

(Yukino's POV)

How can this be? No wedding papers at all? Like they were never married. I get an Idea.

"What about my birthcertificate? Her name should be on that right?"

The chief of police's face lights up.

"Ofcourse. Clever. Very clever."

He starts typing and clicking again, and by the time he finally stops I almost get a nervous breakdown and I think I'll never be able to get that typing sound out of my head. A blonde woman that looks close to her thirties comes in with coffee, puts in down on the desk and leaves without a word. Ryan grabs a mug without even looking at it and takes a sip.

"Mh. Right. Yukino Agria. Born on the twenty-fourth of July 1999. Father: David Agria. Mother: Brannagh Agria-McThallogh."

Ryan looks at me.

"I assume her last name is McThallogh. Is she Irish?"

"Yes sir."

"So am I."

He smiles, like he just made a new friend, and starts searching for my mother again. After what seems like ages, he leans back in his chair with a frown and sighs.

"I don't know what happened, but there is nothing about her here. The only thing I can think of, is that someone completely erased her from the system. And only high ranked ministers in the Department of Citizen Administration of Edolas can do that."

"What does that mean?"

Gajeel sounds as surprised as I feel, and Ryan looks from him to me and back in confusion.

"It means one of those ministers purposely deleted her from the system."

I look at Gajeel. I feel so utterly hopeless now. Gajeel rubs his chin.

"What about a death certificate?"

"What?!"

I yelp in surpise. He can't possibly think my mother died, can he? Gajeel calmly turns to me.

"I think your father either bribed or blackmailed someone into deleting your mothers records. If he did that, maybe he went as far as convincing that same person to make a false deathcertificate, in case you would ever go looking for her."

Ryan taps his desk with his fingers.

"Possible. Either way there is nothing I can do now. I'll investigate this matter further. If you leave your phone number, Yukino, I will call you as soon as I know anything."

...

...

...

Once outside I get a crazy idea, and I face Gajeel with a strong sense of determenation.

"Lets go pay my father a visit."

"Excuse me?"


	15. Knowing

**A/N: Again, sorry for the delay. I had a massive writer's block, and was very busy. So here, after way too long, is the new chapter.**

 **CH: 15 Knowing.**

"Cell block E opening!"

The officer shouts a warning to the other officers before he unlocks the gate that leads to cell block E. This prison has meeting rooms in every Cell block, so they don't have to transport prisoners all over the building, but it does mean we have to cross almost the entire building. I don't like the atmosphere here. Some of the prisoners pay way to much attention to us, and some of them even whisper or call out to me, being completely unpleasant.

The officer opens a door, and motions us to go inside. We enter the room, immediately welcomed by the snorting sound my father makes. He hasn't changed a bit. He still has an arrogant glare in his eyes, and looks at me like I just made his day by showing up. But when he sees Gajeel coming in right after me, his face turns angry and his eyes turn dark. He obviously does not like it that I'm here with a guy.

Two guards stand by the door, that is shut behind us, and we take a seat opposite of my father, on the other side of the table. He is still cuffed, and even though I feel save with Gajeel and two guards here, I'm thankfull he is cuffed.

We don't speak for a few minutes, and I take the time to look at him thoroughly. He lost a lot of weight, and he's pale. I can see he's got scars he didn't have before I attacked him, and I wonder if those scars are all made by my own hands. Some seem to be newer though. Also, he has bruises. Obviously , his inmates don't like him.

"You look awfull."

I sound harsh. I must admit I'm a bit nervous, so I make sure he won't notice. I'm not scared, but I don't want him to think he still has a hold over me. He doesn't. I need information about my mother.

"Your doing sweetheart. You on the other hand look delicious."

Gajeel tenses next to me. But I know exactly what he's doing. First of all. He's blaming me for being in jail. Second, he's trying to make me flinch, or make me uncomfortable by making that last remark. I can see even the guards are tensed.

"Quit your whining. You know you're only here because you repeatedly raped an abused me. And thank you. I do look pretty good, don't I?"

I see my fathers eyes pop open in surprise, but he quickly smirks.

"It doesn't seem like you disliked our little encounters though. Considering you came all this way to see me. How'd you like a taste of our old games?"

I calmly grab Gajeels hand under the table, and put our entwined hands on the table.

"Sorry, 'sweetheart'. I've got my own man for that."

His face turns dark again. But I continue relentlessly.

"And I'll tell you something: He's bigger."

The insinuation of me having sex with Gajeel breaks his mask. Before I know it, he jumps up kicking his chair back, and before the guards can do anything he jumps over the table, right on top of Gajeel. The guards pull out taser guns, but I block them, kicking my father off of Gajeel, onto his back, and get on top of him, pinning his cuffed hands above his head.

"How do you like that for a change, huh? Being pinned down, like you did me?"

This reminds me a lot of the day I tried to kill him, and I can see in his eyes, he remembers that day too. I must look furious, because I definitely feel that way. I hear Gajeel telling the guards to let me handle this without intervening, and I silently thank him for it. This feels good. I'm in charge at this moment, without fear. Now he's the one who's scared.

"Listen up you piece of filth. I have no time for your stupid games. You are going to tell me about my mother, even if I have to punch it out of you, and don't think I won't do that."

My father looks at the guards, pleading.

"Can she do this?"

The guards smirk.

"After all you did to her, I would allow her to punch the shit out of you, just for fun."

I smirk down at my father devilishly and get up. I walk towards the tumbled over chair, pick it up and put it up straight. My father sits up, looking at me, not sure what I'm doing I supose. I walk towards him again, realise I won't be able to get him up and look at Gajeel.

"Mind putting him on that chair?"

Gajeel shakes his head, grabs my father by the arm, drags him to the chair, almost throwing him on it. He backs up, sitting on the table, close behind me. I stare at my father intensely. Now that I've seen his fear, I'm no longer nervous.

"My mother."

My father sighs and frowns.

"What do you want to know?"

"Where is she?"

"I don't know."

"Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying. The last time I saw her was the day she left. After that I moved around a lot, so she wouldn't be able to find us, but she kept finding ways to contact me, up till a few years ago. I had a private detective to follow her, to warn me if she got too close. But he lost her after a while, and I don't know what happened after."

I decide to let this go, as it's obvious he won't tell me anything different on this part, and he might actually tell the truth.

"Why are there no files or records of her?"

My father smirks again, and I raise an eyebrow.

"I'll gladly punch that smirk off your face. Start talking."

"You went to the police."

I nod.

"Then the police must have told you, the files should be there unles they got erased."

"Yes. And I suspect you took care of that. The question is, who did you bribe? Or did you blackmail someone?"

"You think I have that kind of dirt on someone that important."

"Well, you are a dirtbag after all. Plenty of dirt to go around."

One of the guards chuckles, at my fathers somewhat confused face.

"But I supose you bribed someone. I know you have plenty of money, although I have no idea where you got it. Your job didn't pay that much, so I bet you did something on the side."

My remark about his salary hits a spot. Obviously I thought it over on the way here. I knew I had to try to undermine his confidence as much as possible. Saying his job didn't pay that well, makes him look like a failure. And he feels that. He grits his teeth.

"Yes, I bribed someone."

"Who?"

My father smirks at the guards.

"You should hire her for interrogations. She seems to like asking questions."

I punch him in the face so hard I knock his head back.

"Then lets play good cop, bad cop. You answer my questions , and I'll be nice. Avoid the question and you'll get punched. Also, don't look away. I'm talking to you, and you're being rude. Considering you raised me to look people in the eye, I sugest you follow your own rules."

He spits out some blood, and I think I see one of his teeth on the floor. He looks back at me, angry.

"Your punch sure got better."

"Well, I did try to kill you once. Maybe next time I'll take my time, and won't use a knife."

"Right. The guy I bribed is known as Hades in the underworld. He makes people dissapear. I didn't even have to bribe him into it, as long as I paid his wage. When I told him what I wanted he laughed, the devil."

"What's his real name?"

"I don't know."

Gajeel taps me on the shoulder, and I look back at him.

"I think he's telling the truth. If this "Hades" would blow his cover, anyone could report him, get the police on his case, and mess with his affairs. If he uses that name as a cover, he doesn't want anyone to know his real name. It might be someone who has his face all over the tabloids as the perfect bussinessman."

He looks at my father.

"Have you seen his face?"

"No. We talked over the phone or behind a dark curtain. I heard his voice, heard him laugh, but I never saw him."

"Makes sense."

I turn away from my father. There's nothing usefull he can tell me anyway.

"Lets go, Gajeel. I've heard enough."

He gets up and we head for the door. Right before I close the door, he shouts, loud enough for the entire cell block to hear.

"Come back anytime baby. I like our little games. Maybe next time you can play the slutty cop."

He laughs at his own joke, and once again Gajeel tenses up. I grab his arm, afraid he might go back to actually beat my father to death.

"Come on, ignore it."

The officer who brought us here leads us back trough the long hall with cells. Shortly before we reach the gate, a low voice calls out of the darkness off one of the cells to our left.

"Well, well. If that ain't Gajeel."

We freeze on the spot, and look to our left. A tall, muscled, and grey haired guy steps into the light. Gajeel straightens up, like he's trying to match this mans tallness.

"Brain."

"Who?"

"Tell me, Gajeel, what is it like on the outside?"

"Crazy as always. I ran into your son a little while ago. Still running the gang. He was hitting on her."

He gestures back at me, and the old man smiles, a litle too wicked to be friendly.

"She is a beauty. Who is she?"

"I can talk you know."

The old man smirks at me, and the way he looks at me gives me chills, but nevertheless I step forward.

"I'm Yukino. Agria."

Brain looks at me top to bottom. He comes even closer to the bars of his cell and leans against them with his left shoulder, trying to look back down the hall we just came out off. I notice how the other inmates are quiet, like the fear or respect him so much, they listen and shut up when he talks.

"That guy who just shouted about you playing a slutty cop, that's your old man, no?"

"Yes."

Brain face me, looking me straight in the eye.

"I might be a criminal my love, but we don't like man treating their daughters like that. I never raped a woman in my life. And I wouldn't even think of touching one of my own like that. And I'm not the only one. None of the inmates like him for what he did to you. I can guarantee you, that problem will sort itself out."

"What do you mean?"

Gajeel grabs my arm, giving Brain an angry glare, as he starts pulling me towards the gate. I pull my arm free.

"No Gajeel. What does he mean?"

Brain laughs softly.

"People who are hated tend to dissapear in jail, sweety."

Gajeel grunts as he sees the realisation appear on my face. He pulls my arm again.

"Come on Yukino."

This time I don't argue. We leave the building in silence, but once we are outside I can no longer hold back.

"Are they going to kill him?"

Gajeel looks angry and squeezes his nosebridge with his eyes closed.

"They might. Things like that happen in jail. You saw only a small part. It's much worse when you're actually in there. It's a constant fight to protect yourself, wich means you have to be stronger, and show them who's boss. It's all about dominance. And your father doesn't have shit in there."

"So he's done for."

My calculated statement makes him open his eyes. He looks at me like we're having a staring contest.

"You don't even care."

"Gajeel, I tried to kill him myself. I don't plan on doing that again, but I'm not to the point where I care if he dies."

Gajeel sighs. I can see he's dissapointed, but he doesn't say anything and gets his helmet. I get the other helmet, but don't put it on yet.

"You're dissapointed."

Gajeel turns back to me.

"No. I just. I thought you didn't hate him that much anymore. But I get it. I felt the same with my stepfather. I felt terrible for killing him, but I didn't care he was dead. If he died any other way than by my own hands, I wouldn't have cared at all."

"I see. You think I was a better person than you were back then."

"Sort off."

"Sorry about that."

The atmosphere between us feels tense. I have no idea how to solve this tension. But I do remember we were pretty relaxed at the club. I take a deep breath.

"Want to hang out? Y'know. Go to the club or a bar or something?

He nods silently, and we both get on the motorbike, putting our helmets on. The ride relaxes me, and I can feel him relax too. When we stop, I see Gajeel went to a different club than the one we went to last time, but it's all the same to me. Once inside we head straight to the bar, and Gajeel orders two glasses of whiskey.

"Two?"

He grins like he always do, and I completely relax.

"They won't check your ID."

"I never drank strong stuff before"

"Then I sugest you take it slow."

He smiles devilishly, and looks at me curiously when the bartender puts the glass in front of me.

"Ew, it smells."

"Taste it."

I reluctantly take a sip and immediately start coughing. Gajeel bursts out laughing.

"What is this stuff?!"

Gajeel laughs even harder and takes the glass from me.

"Never mind, I'll get you a soda. I'll drink this."

"You're kidding! You have to drive!"

Gajeel shakes his head.

" I can handle my booze. And this club is pretty close to home, so we can walk. I wouldn't put you in danger. You do know that right?"

I nod quietly. That sounded way to kind. I look around, emberassed, and then almost choke on my own saliva. Gajeel turns to see what's wrong an then he spots them. Cobra and Levy are sitting at one of the tables, sharing some stick like piece of candy,kissing eachother when their lips meet.

"Guess they are official now huh."

Gajeel doesn't sound too surprised, but I can't take my eyes off them, curious about what kind of thing this is they are doing.

"What are they doing?"

Gajeel shrugs.

"They call it the Pocky game."

"What's Pocky?"

Gajeel nearly sprays his whiskey all over the bar, and looks at me completely astonished. He wipes his mouth.

"You never heard of Pocky?"

"No, should I have?"

"It's damn popular."

He turns around at Levy and Cobra, once again kissing.

"Yo Lev!"

Levy pulls away from Cobra to see who called her name, and Cobra gives Gajeel an angry glare when he spots him.

"Throw me those Pocky will ya?"

Levy visibly sighs, grabs a little box from their table, and throws it at Gajeel, who easily catches it. He shows me the box. It has an image of the stick like candies, and some Japanese signs on it. The only thing I can read, is the little English that's on there, wich says it's chocolate flavored. Gajeel opens the box, and takes one out, handing it to me.

"Eat up."

I do as he says.

"MH!"

"Good huh?"

I nod vigurously.

"Yes, it's delicious. But what are they doing with it?"

"A Game. Although it's just an excuse to kiss , really. You eat your way trough the stick untill your lips meet. Some younger kids use it as a game of dare, to see who has the balls to kiss the girl."

It sounds completely ridiculous to me. I decide to talk about somewhat smarter stuff, Because I feel like my IQ just dropped, discussing such a silly game.

"We need to find Hades."

Gajeel sighs.

"I don't think that'll be easy. You need to know your way in the underworld, have some connections. It won't be easy."

"You know the underworld."

Gajeel looks really unhappy with that observation, but nods.

"Yes, but I don't think my connections would want to help me."

"What about Brain?"

"Not unless I can do something for him."

"I see."

I look at my watch.

"It's getting late Gajeel. Lets head back. We might be pretty close to home, but we have to walk with that big ass, heavy motorbike of yours."

"You're right. Besides, you need your rest well for tomorrow. Since you're going to school I mean."

I nod again. I look forward to that.  
We walk home almost entirely in silence, apart from me laughing about Gajeel not walking straight at all, and he makes a tipsy remark about the moon, and then cracks me up by howling at it. By the time we get to his garage, he sobered up enough to walk straight. The fresh night air obviously did him good. We get upstairs still laughing about his wolflike actions, but when I open the door to my appartment, I immediately quiet down. Laxus is here. And obviously, things were getting serious.

"I'm sorry!"

I slam the door closed, facing Gajeel.

"What are you going to do now?"

"I'll just go to Lucy's."

He nods and turns around, walking down the hall to enter his own appartment.

He didn't even say goodbye. I turn around to go to Lucy's appartment when I hear him call my name, and look over my shoulder.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight Gajeel."

...

...

...

When I get to Lucy's appartment, I don't even have to knock to know I'm not going in. Lucy is pretty...audible. I can hear her moan Natsu's name, and other wordless moans. My God, they're like cats; all in heat at the same time. It's not even a ful moon. Almost annoyed I march back trough the buidling, straight to Gajeels appartment. I bang on the door so loud, I think I might actually break it, and Gajeel opens it a little, peeking around the door, showing only his face. Maybe he's in his boxers again, but I don't really care. I'll look away.

I push the door open, marching straight in.

"Apparently everyone's having sex tonight."

I hear how irritated I sound. I mean, they're happily enjoying eachother, Good for them. But it would be nice to hang out with other friends apart from Gajeel, who are not having sex. The laptop on the coffeetable catches my eye, and I feel my face flush with heat, when I see what Gajeel was watching.

"O my. You were watching porn. I'm totally interrupting you."

I turn to face him, and immediately cover my face.

"O my god! Why are you naked?!"

"Like you just sharply observed, I was in the middle of something."

He sounds emberassed, but he can't possibly be as emberassed as I am. He is huge! And obviously arroused. I turn away from him, only to remember the laptop is there. What to do. He's at the door, and I wouldn't dare to pass him. Or even get close to him. The laptop is on the table...

I decide to walk to the window and look outside.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know...I wasn't...I'm so sorry."

I don't dare to look at him. He'll just have to take my word on it.

"Don't bother. You didn't know."

His voice sounds too close. I look over my shoulder, and immediately look at the window again, but this time I look at his face in the reflection.

"Wh- what are you doing?! Why are you getting closer?"

His voice sounds lower, and a bit husk when he talks again.

"Because this is real bad timing. And you drive me nuts. I've held back the entire day, because I don't want to spook you, but it's almost like you're looking for trouble."

He's really close behind me now. I can't move. Even if I could, wich way do I go? He's basically right behind me. And something in his voice makes my knees weak. What is happening? What is he doing?

"What do you mean you held back?"

I try to sound calm, but even I can hear my voice tremble. So I'm pretty sure he does too. And I can't help but squirm a bit when he places both hands on the window frame, trapping me.

"G-Gajeel...I- I really don't like to be trapped."

"I'm not trapping you. You can tell me to back off anytime you want."

He slightly bends towards me, and before I can match the image in the reflection with my thoughts, I feel his lips on my neck. He gently kisses me, and I shiver. One of his hands drops, and gently caresses my side. He kisses my neck little higher, closer to my ear, and suddenly I feel like I'm ablaze. When Gajeel hears me gasp, he softly bites down.

"Ah!"

I can see my eyes pop open in my own reflections, and I see his teeth reflect the moonlight as he bites me. This is uncalled for. I have no idea what is happening to my body. I tremble, my heart flutters, and I am completely frozen in place, even though I feel like I'm on fire. Suddenly he grabs my wrists and pins them agains the windowframe, and presses his body against mine. I can feel his erection against my back, and suddenly I see a flash of the last time my father raped me, tearing me up from behind, and I panic.

"STOP!"

I pull my arms free, spin around and push him back as hard as I can. His naked butt lands on the floor, and he looks up at me in surprise. I already feel the tears burn in my eyes, and he immediately sees it. I try to contain myself, but can't stop a little sob from escaping me.

"Yukino...My god. I'm so sorry. What did I do? Tell me what I did wrong?"

My eyes overflow with tears at this point.

"Never, ever, grab me from behind like that, pinning me against a wall or something. Ever! That's exactly what he did when...when..."

I burst out crying, covering my mouth to smother the sound of my sobs. Gajeel slowly gets up, hands me a box of tissues, that he probably put there for an entirely different purpose, and leaves me alone when he dissapears into the bedroom. Five minutes later he comes back, shuts the laptop, and wraps a blanket around me. After that he quietly pushes me towards the couch, making me sit down, and dissapears into the kitchen without saying another word. I calm down a little. I know it wasn't my father. And I really like Gajeel, but this is too much too handle. And I don't want him to settle for something less than he needs and derseves. He obvioulsy has needs, and I can't help him with that. I don't think he really likes me, either. He was just horny, like the rest of them.

Gajeel comes back with a mug. When he hands it to me I see it's hot chocolate, with marshmallows on top, wich are slowly melting a bit. And for some weird reason I tear up again.

"How did you know I liked that?"

"You do?"

"My mother always made it like this."

And suddenly I know why I'm crying. I said it before I really remembered. But it's true.

"Coincidence."

I nod and take a sip. It calms me. It tastes so familiar,and it brings back memories.

"She liked to bake. She made the best cheesecake in the world. She wore cherryblossoms in her hair. Or bloodcorals. It looked amazing with her black hair."

"You remember all of that, just because of the chocolate?"

Gajeel sounds as surprised as I feel.

"I think so."

I put the mug down on the coffeetable, pulling the blanket tighter around me, and face him.

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? I went way to far. I should've gotten my clothes as soon as you came in. I never had any right to touch you, or pressure you like that, and I definitely shouldn't have...nhg!"

I press my lips against his firmly, and then pull back slowly.

"I do like you Gajeel. But I don't think I can give you what you want. This is too much for me."

"Hey, I told you before, I'm not expecting anything. I won't push you. I just...I thought you liked that just now."

"I did! Untill you pinned my arms against the windowframe."

He looks at me from behind a thick lock of black hair.

"You even liked the biting?"

"Yes. That made me feel really weird. In a good way."

He looks up at me again.

"So...Do you want to try?"

"Try what?"

"Being my girl."


	16. Back to Basics

**CH: 16 Back to Basics**

I feel like I'm staring at Gajeel like he's a ghost. He can't possibly be serious.

"Gajeel...I couldn't possibly give you what you need. I mean, your urges...I can't... I don't even know if I love you."

I get up a bit frustrated and also slightly nervous. I can feel his eyes on me while I pace around the room.

"I don't know what love feels like, and you obviously have fysical needs, and I can't provide."

I stop pacing and look at him. It surprises me how calm he looks.

"You deserve better Gajeel. I'm in no way good enough for you."

"You've got to be kidding me."

I look at him intently as he gets up and walks my way. He lifts my chin with his finger, making me look at him.

"Listen here, newbie, you might be different than the girls I usually dated, but that doesn't mean you're not good enough. Maybe they weren't and that's why it never lasted."

"Have you never loved any of them? Not even one?"

Gajeel lets go of me and walks back to the couch, sitting down with a thoughtfull look. After a few minutes of silence I walk over and sit next to him.

"Something bad happened, didn't it? You loved a girl, and something happened."

"For someone with hardly any experience in romantic relationships, you're pretty sharp."

"Do you still love her?"

"I'm over her. I have some good memories of her, but it's been so long ago, the feelings for her have faded. She made a decision, I accepted it."

"What happened?"

Gajeel sighs.

"Apparently I was a side dish. She was fooling around with a lotta guys. She tricked me. I fell in love. And she crushed me."

He gives me a crooked smile.

"I never loved another girl again after that. I thought I might get tricked again. So I never went further than the fysical stuff, and decided not to get emotionally attached."

"I see."

We stay quiet for a bit.

"With you though, it's completely different."

I look up at him from my mug of chocolate.

"What do you mean?"

"I tried not to care about you. I tried to stay at a safe distance. But you intrigued me."

"Intrigued you? How?"

I can't imagine anything I did back then intrigued or fascinated him. I was pathetic. Still am.

"Like I said, you tried so hard to stay invisible, but your eyes were like that of a lion. Even though you were scared, I saw your will to fight. That was impressive. And how you tried to hide your fear. Independent. I liked that. The more you tried to keep me at bay, the more I wanted to know you."

"I'm not sure if it was really the will to fight , or just me losing my marbles. I feel like I was already going crazy back then."

"You never told me, why you snapped. You just said...when I pinned you. You were reminded of the last time your father hurt you. I thought Mike was involved there. You seem to have told Mira a lot, but you never told me."

Gajeel seemed to feel guilty by talking about this, and looked away.

"Not that you have to tell me."

"Do you really want to know?"

"I don't know. But I would like it if you could trust me enough to tell me."

"I do trust you."

I sigh, and look at him. I do trust him. I like him. And if I ever want to be able to be close to someone, regardless of the way how, I need to open up.

"The last time my father raped me, he was drunk. I came home, he said he had a gift. It was a red dress. I wanted to show him how it looked. I think I hoped he would be nicer to me if I liked his gift."

"Don't feel guilty. You tried, anything to make him love you like he should have."

"I guess. Either way, he had a coworker over,also drunk. And apparently they had been talking about me. My father had been bragging about my...my looks I supose."

I take a deep breath , remembering that evening. Gajeel moves his hand, hesitates and then gently puts it on my shoulder.

"You don't have to tell me if it's too much."

"No. I want to. I want to open up more, and be close to someone. I never had friends before. I need to try to let them be my friends, now that I have friends. Although I must say I have never been as close to anyone as I am to you and Mira. And even the closest to you, considering I didn't kiss Mira. Then again, I did allow her to touch me."

"Come again?"

I blush as I realise it would've been better if I kept that to myself.

"Ah, well. You said I should ask her how to please myself, and ehhh, well...She showed me."

"By doing that to you?"

I look down a bit emberassed, too ashamed to look at him.

"Fuck, that sounds hot."

I look up to him in surprise.

"Sorry. That was inappropriate. Didn't that freak you out though? I mean. I assume she was touching you between your legs."

"Ahh...Uh, yes. but she was very soothing."

"Right."

Once again there's a silence between us, untill I remember I was telling him something.

"Either way, my father. When I came back into the living room to show off the dress, he asked Mike if he had lied about me being beautifull. And Mike said that was hard to see with my clothes on."

"And then they raped you?"

I gulp, trying to swallow down the tears, and nod.

"They didn't even have the courtesy to take turns."

Gajeel seems a bit shocked.

"You mean..."

"Yep. One on the front, one from behind. That's why you pinning me like that from behind was pretty scary. First of all, my father had a habbit of pinning me down. Second, the last time he raped me, he came from behind."

Allright. That was a lot easier than I expected. I didn't cry. An he doesn't look grossed out.

"So, no pinning you, and no holding you from behind in any way. Not in a playfull way either. I guess you need space. Hugging you might not be a good idea either."

"I don't know. But Gajeel, do you really want to hold back that much?"

"You're worth it."

I stare at him dumbfounded. I don't know what to say. Worth it? I'm a mess.

"It won't kill me to take it slow. But only if you want to. I will not force you."

"Well, I don't know. I do like kissing you. That does mean something I guess."

I look up at him, and see my doubt reflected in his eyes.

"How does it make you feel?"

"Warm. Tingly."

"Sounds good."

He looks at his watch.

"It's pretty late. I'm afraid Laxus and Mira will still be in the appartment. So I suggest you take my bed, and I sleep on the couch. Is that ok?"

"You really won't try anything?"

"Cross my heart."

"Well, allright then."

...

...

...

(gajeel POV)

It's so far past midnight. I can't sleep. The moonlight is lighting up the living room, since I didn't bother to close the curtains. I'm still not sure if Yukino wants to try with me, but I supose I'll just wait and see where this is going from here. I get up and walk to the sink to drink some water. When I get back to the couch I hear a soft mumbling from my bedroom. Does Yukino talk in her sleep?

As I walk to the door to listen if everything is allright, I get a strange feeling. Eery. It gives me the chills. The voice sounds like it's chanting. Singing an eery song. I slowly and quietly open the door a bit, an immediately see Yukino's silhouette in the windowsill. She's looking up to the moon, her face bathed in pale moonlight. She almost looks dead. I notice that she's still wearing her clothes, like she was still too scared I might try something, and didn't dare to take them off. And she's singing, sort off. It sounds like a song from kindergarten, but the words are creeping me out.

 _"One puts the belt around your neck,_  
 _the other pulls it thight._  
 _Count to ten, gasping for air,_  
 _while I turn off your light._

 _One cut, Two cuts, there goes the knife,_  
 _Striking at your heart._  
 _As you slowly bleed to death_  
 _I'll rip you all apart."_

She stays quiet after that, but remains sitting in the windowsill. A part of me hopes she's just sleepwalking, and this is a way for her to process stuff. But I'm reminded by the Kayleigh that almost posessed her, and I fear it's her.

"Yukino?"

She turns around to face me, and now I see tears rolling down her cheeks, sparkling in the moonlight.

"Gajeel...I killed him. I'm a murderer."

I don't know how fast I have to walk over to her, an grab her face in both of my hands.

"He's not dead, Yukino. He's in jail where he belongs. You're not a murderer."

"I'm not?"

She looks absolutely horrid. She looks pale, and scared and tired.

"You're not. Remember we went to see him yesterday? You didn't kill him."

"We went to see him. I remember."

"Good girl. It was just a dream. Go back to sleep."

I push her towards the bed, but she resists. I look down with raised eyebrows.

"I'm scared. I don't want to sleep here. I don't want to sleep alone."

I think about this for a minute and then take her to the living room. Luckily for me, I have a big couch, made for guests to stay over, in case Natsu and I have visitors. Also lucky, said pinkhair is now sleeping elsewhere. He would never let me hear the end of this.

I set Yukino on the couch and walk back to get my blankets. When I get to the livingroom, Yukino still sits there, like she can't move. I sit down next to her, wrapping the blankets around her, and pull her closer, so she can lean against me. She crawls up against me, like I'm a life size teddybear, nuzzling my neck, and sighs happily.

"You smell nice, Gajeel."

"Ehh..."

She sits up and looks me straight in the eye.

"I feel really comfortable with you Gajeel. I don't know why. But I do."

Her eyes shimmer in the moonlight. But not with tears. They just lighten up.  
She slowly leans in. Is she going to kiss me again?

She answers my question by softly pressing her lips agains mine. I feel her shiver in my arms.

"I really do like to kiss you."

"I would never want to deny you something you like."

"Then kiss me like you did the first time."

I pull her on my lap, one leg on either side of my lap, so she's straddling me. Maybe this will make her feel like she's in control. I press her close to me with one arm, while grabbing her hair with my free hand. I firmly kiss her on the lips like she asked me. She sighs against my lips, entangling her hands in my hair, pulling it softly. I break free from her lips, softly pulling her head backwards as I start kissing her neck. A small voice in the back of my head tells me to slow down, but then her hands slide down my bare torso, down to the seem of my pants, and I feel electrified. I throw her on the couch, making her lie down on her back, and get on top of her. I pant, and look her in the eye.

"If you want to take this slow, then you should really avoid to let your hands wander like that. Because that is a sensitive place to put your hands."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to."

"I don't mind, but it does make it hard to hold back."

"So you are holding back."

"Ofcourse. Don't get me wrong, I'm really patient, and I will not push you. But that doesn't mean you don't turn me on."

She blushes underneath me an nods.

"Is there anything I can do to help? What do couples usually do, apart from sex?"

I slowly get of off her.

"Cuddling I guess. Kissing. Maybe touching some skin."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, like hands under your shirt on something."

"Like...on my breasts?"

"Not necceserily. Only if that's ok with you. I could rub your back or something. But either way, for now we should sleep."

I lie down on the couch, and to my surprise she gets on top of me, laying her head on my chest.

"You're heart's racing."

"Your fault."

She softly laughs a bit. I slowly wrap my arms around her and pull the blankets up to cover both of us. Her breathing slows down, and I start to feel drowsy. Just as I think she's asleep, her voice softly calls my name.

"Gajeel?"

"Mh?"

"You can rub my back if you like. I think I can handle that. I mean. Under my shirt."

"Sure?"

"Mhm."

I slowly slip my hand under her shirt, and feel her body shock a bit when i touch her bare skin, slowly rubbing her back. After a few seconds she relaxes, getting comfortable on top of me.

"Your hands are softer than I thought."

I stay quiet, not knowing what to say, but glad this feels allright for her. Maybe we'll have to start with basics, and it's been a long time since I went back to basics. But like I said.

.

.

.

.

She's worth it.


	17. All things considered

**CH: 17 All things considered**

The school sounds louder then I remember. It overwhelms me to see how many students are here. Everybody is busy, rushing from one class to the other. Taking class after class, all excited for spring festival. Or more because we'll have a week off after that. I've been doing a lot of studying for finals myself, even though that's still a few months away, and I hope I'll be able to pass. Gajeel told me he would really like to take weilding classes with me next year, and I'm honestly looking forward to that. It interested me the moment I saw it, and to be doing that with Gajeel sounds cool. I think we're sort of a couple now, and that feels weird. It's even weirder that I'm not sure.

"Yukino! O my god, I'm so glad to see you!"

Lucy throws her arms around my neck and hugs me. For a moment I'm frozen on the spot, not sure what to do now. I don't exactly get hugged a lot. I look up at Gajeel, who's been right next to me all this time. He winks and makes a gesture for me to embrace her. So I slowly wrap my arms around Lucy. She pulls back a little and looks at my face.

"You are really pale, are you allright? O wait, that's stupid, ofcourse not. I...I don't know what to say. It was allover the news, I can imagine that's horrible for you. But If you want to talk about it, you can allways come see me."

"Thanks Lucy. I'm ok. Gajeel and Mira have been pulling me trough."

Lucy raises an eyebrow at Gajeel.

"Go figure. Who would've thought?"

"What was that blondie?"

"Nothing!"

And Lucy turned on the spot, quickly pacing away from us.

"What was that about?"

I look up at Gajeel in confusement.

"She's too curious. She was totally making the 'O-my-god-you-guys-are-banging' face ate me."

I blink.

"Excuse me? She thinks we're banging?"

"Well..."

"What?"

Gajeel doesn't get a chance to answer, because Juvia is the next to throw herself at me, Gray watching us from a distance, obviously feeling awkward. I don't know if he feels emberassed about Juvia, or if he's not sure what to say to me. Juvia on the other hand, has no filter at all. Or tact.

"Juvia is so sad! It is so horrible what that mean man did to you. You must have been so sad. Juvia is sorry for being mean to you. Juvia knows now you love Gajeel-san, and would never take my Gray-sama from me. Juvia is so sahaaaad!"

Gray burries his face in his hands as he hears her, while Gajeel tries tr pry her off of me.

"Let go, Juvia! You're drowning her with those tears. And you're being rude."

I put my hand on his arm.

"It's ok. Juvia. I think it's very sweet of you to feel for me like you do. But please, I'd rather not talk about it."

Juvia nods vigurously.

"Ofcourse. Juvia understands."

"I'm happy to see you, Juvia."

"Juvia is happy to see you too, but you lost a lot of weight."

"I know, Juvia. Don't worry. Gajeel makes sure that I eat."

I laugh at Gajeel, and Juvia starts swooning. If this were an anime, she'd be having hearts in her eyes.

" O my, are you in loooooove?"

Gajeel seems to get nervous and looks at me with raised eyebrows. I think, just like me, he's not exactly sure were we stand right now, and that means he leaves it up to me to decide.

And I nod.

"Yes, Juvia. We are."

...

...

...

"I'm glad you said yes. I wasn't sure."

Gajeel doesn't look at me. He looks very serious.

"I hope you're not just doing it because you feel forced though."

"Don't worry about that. I really do like you. And I think the fact that even fysical things are easier with you, means a lot."

Gajeel doesn't answer. I keep looking at him. We got to our mathmetics class in silence too. I wonder why he's so quiet. He usually has a lot of remarks ready. But if he's thinking about the girl that played him, he might just be as insecure about this as I am.

"Gajeel, what's the matter?"

"Nothing. Nevermind."

"I do mind. You want me to trust you. Then you should try to trust me too. If we want this to work, we have to talk to eachother. You can't hide everything from me."

"You want this to work?"

He looks at me now. And obviously I was right. I see how insecure he is. Scared maybe even, that I might not be sincere aboout this.

"Yes, I do. It makes sense to say, I never felt this way before. But it's not just the couple stuff. You were my friend first. I feel safe with you. Like I can be myself around you."

"I'm happy about that. I..I will try to trust you more. I just don't want this to be a fysical thing. I mean, simply because I don't freak you out."

"I can't simply tell you it's not like that. You will have to give me the time to show you."

"I can live with that."

"Good. In turn I will try to meet up with your needs."

Gajeel freezes in his chair. He slowly turns towards me.

"Yukino, I refuse to let you force it for me."

"I won't. But I will try...No I want us to try and see what I can and can't handle. We know kissing is allright."

Gajeel slightly blushes. I can't remember him blushing.

"Maybe we shouldn't talk about this in class. Others might hear."

"O. Right."

We both continue on our assignment. Since it's not an official test, but just practice, we're still allowed to talk. But most don't, and our conversation could be easily overheard. Still, I can't focus on the problems on the sheet that I need to solve. I can see that I would be able to solve them if I concentrated, but my mind wanders off. I take a piece of paper from my notepad and start writing. I notice Gajeel glances at the piece of paper, curious. When I stop writing, I have a small list.

Things I can handle:

-Touching and be touched  
-Kissing.  
-Neck kisses, and nibbling (very nice)  
-Hugs  
-Hands on my bare back  
-Being alone with Gajeel (plus, I've seen him naked and didn't shit myself)

I look at my list. My sidenotes are ridiculous. I want to tear it to shreds, but right before I do, Gajeel takes it from me, and looks at it. I feel my face flush with heat; I must be bright red.

"Gajeel! Don't!"

I whisper loudly, but not loud enough for others to hear. That would get really awkward. It's already bad enough that Gajeel doesn't seem to mind my protests, and seems rather amused at my little, crazy list. He turns to me with a rather devilish smirk on his face.

"So, nibbling your neck feels 'very nice', huh?"

I feel my face get even warmer, and he chuckles. He leans closer, and whispers in my ear to keep quiet. He softly kisses my neck and I have to bite my lip not to gasp. I grab his leg under the table, like I need support. I keep a close eye on the teacher. I don't really have to mind the other students, because we are sitting all the way in the back, but if the teacher sees him doing this, I don't know what will happen. My hand squeezes his leg when Gajeel nibbles on my neck. I can't believe he's doing this here!

"Gajeel, quit it.."

He sits up straight again and smirks at me.

"That wasn't so bad right?"

Before I can even answer him, he looks at the list again.

"So uh, not shitting yourself is a good thing , I guess? Or maybe 'it' wasn't impressive enough."

I mumble something incomprehensible, completely flustered.

"What was that?"

"I said I was right when I told my father you were bigger."

In front of me, Gray turns in his seat and turns to me with a pale white face. Oops. Too loud. His eyes almost pop out of his sockets.

"How can you just say that?"

I don't know what comes over me, but suddenly I'm tired of feeling ashamed of something that wasn't my fault.

"Well, I suppose you could say I'm pretty fucked up."

Gray turns around again, not able to say anything else. Maybe he thinks I'm crazy now. Maybe I am. I look at Gajeel, who's still smiling.

"That was rude wasn't it?"

He shrugs.

"I think It's a good way to deal with it. If you keep avoiding the subject, you might stay scared of it forever. If you can deal with it this way, then I don't care if you're rude. They'll get used to it."

We're silent for a while, untill the bell rings to signal the end of this class. We both need to go in the same directions, so when we leave the classroom, he walks next to me. Suddenly he grabs my arm and pulls me behind the stairs to the next floor, where we're a bit out of sight.

"About your father...I mean... I can understand if you're scared of going all the way. I know I encouraged you to solve it with humor, but I also know somethings are not to be joked about. He hurt you, and I don't want to do that. So if I really am bigger, wich I'm kinda proud off, then maybe you're even more scared of that, and..."

"Gajeel, stop. You're ranting. We'll get there when we get there. Yes, I'm scared. But we'll just have to see what happens."

"I guess. I just want to...soothe you. Make sure you know I will be carefull, when we try things like you said."

"I know."

He gently kisses me, and then we continue to our next class.

...

...

...

I step into my own appartment for the first time. Mira and I talked to the headmaster, and they agreed that I can live on myself now. The only time I didn't take my meds, is when Laxus was there with Mira. And I've been doing pretty good at school too, so there were no objections to getting my own appartment. Somehow Gajeel managed to get me some furniture, wich will be brought here in two days. Today, saturday, one week before the spring festival, I'm gonna start painting. Gajeel will be helping, and Natsu an Lucy offered their help as well. Right now it looks like an all white, small boring appartment. But a little paint will do wonders. I don't have to put in a floor; there's already a beautifull light wooden floor in here.

"Hey newbie."

Gajeels voice behind me interupts my thoughts, and I turn to face him.

"Hey punk."

He smiles at the old nickname, and puts his arm around my shoulder.

"What do you think? Will this do for you?"

"Yes, it's great."

"I got paint. But Natsu just called me to say he and Lucy will be an hour later. Do you want to start without them, or wait till they get here?"

I think about it for a bit. There's plenty of work to be done. Even if we start without them, there will still be more than enough to do when they get here.

"We could do the bedroom in an hour. It's not that big. When Mira showed me, it seemed like the smallest room, appart from the bathroom ofcourse."

He looks at me with a weird look in his eyes.

"Good thing the furniture isn't there yet."

"Huh. Why?"

"Because it's really weird to start in your bedroom."

"It's just a room. I can imagine what you're thinking of, and I can assure you, you don't need a bedroom for that."

Gajeel nods without another word. Apparently he gets my point. My experience, even though it might be a completely wrong experience, was never limited to my bedroom. More outside the bedroom to be honest.

We walk into the bedroom, and Gajeel looks around. There's blinds in front of the windows, and he immediately opens them to let some light in. It makes the room look bigger. He looks around again.

"Where do you want your bed to be?"

"Right underneath the window. I love the moonlight on my bed when I can't sleep."

The moon has been my sole companion for years. I like it more then I like the sun.

Gajeel nods and steps to the side of the room with a grin.

"Wouldn't want to be standing on your bed now."

I chuckle and walk towards where my bed has to go.

"Well, here I want my sidetable. And over there, to your right, my closet. Wendy made a beautifull mirror for me to hang on the wall. That is going right here."

I turn towards the wall behind me, and make a gesture like I'm already putting the mirror up.

"Well, If there was a mirror, you'd see I'm on my way towards you."

I turn around to see Gajeel approaching me and I back up against the wall. Even though it seems familiar, it feels totally different, now that it's Gajeel. When he's right in front of me he stops and looks at me.

"What exactly did you mean with trying things?"

"Well, Mira did give me some toys. I was planning on...Well, maybe I can practice. And, uh, we could see where my limit is."

"Practicing with toys sounds weird, but also wrong. It's not real."

"Might be so, but fysical contact with a man...is still a bit difficult."

"I get that. But you also say you want to see where your limits are. How did you want to do that without fysical contact?"

I am baffled for a few seconds. I didn't really think of that. I think of the list I made earlier this week. I saw him naked. I didn't freak out. And I didn't have to touch him. I take a deep breath.

"Promise you won't touch me."

"What?"

"Promise."

"Uhh. Allright. I promise I won't touch you."

I gently push Gajeel back a few steps to create some distance, while he looks at me in total confusement. I take a deep breath, and slowly take off my shirt. When I toss it aside I see his eyes are wide open in surprise.

"Yukino, what are you doing?"

"Well, I saw you naked, I thought I could at least try to get even."

"You really don't have to...uhm"

Gajeel stops protesting when I unclip my bra and drop it on top of my shirt. I feel that I'm blushing, but I try to relax. He promised. I trust him. He won't hurt me. I'm save.

"God..."

I look up at Gajeel, and I feel a sudden electric shock go trough my entire body when I see the look in his eyes. He looks at my bared chest, and then back up at my face. But his eyes seem to shimmer with frenzy. Like it takes all of his willpower to control himself.

"If...If you could touch me...What would you do?"

He blinks like he has to get out of a trance.

"I'd...I.."

I bite my lip. Can I really push myself this far? What if I freak out? But then again, he did make a point. How can I test my limits if I don't try?

"Gajeel...Touch me."

"You just said.."

"I know. I need to try. Just...Slowly."

My breathing exelerates when he comes closer, and I back up against the wall again. Gajeel stops at a really short distance , and I can feel his warm breath on my skin. He looks don at me, and then puts his hand on my waist.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

Gajeel nods slowly as he inhales, and leans in to kiss me. His other hand caresses my cheek, while the hand on my hip slides up just a little bit. His hands are so big, I can already feel his thumb on my ribs. But even though it's a bit scary, it's also exciting, and thrilling. I've never been caressed so gently. It's so different, I don't know why I was so afraid of this.  
The hand that was caressing my cheek, slides down my neck and around me, his warm hand firmly on my lower back. I hold my breath for a moment when his other hand goes up even further, placing his thumb just on the lower curve of my breast. It feels weird. Not bad, but weird. But when his thumb slips over my nipple, I break our kiss with a gasp.

"Yukino? You want me to stop?"

My breathing sounds shallow, but I shake my head.

"No. I was just surprised. I'm fine."

"Sure?"

I nod, and reach down to pull the seem of his shirt up, slipping my hands under his shirt. He's warm, and somehow putting my hands on him, makes me feel like I have a little control over this situation.  
A bit hesitant, Gajeel lets go of me and pulls his own shirt over his head. He reaches for my arm, and pulls me away from the wall.

"I don't want to trap you accidentily."

When I nod again, he suddenly lifts me up, and kneels down on the floor, so I'm sitting on his lap. I can already feel he's getting excited, and the obvious bulge is making me a little nervous. But I get distracted by his hands exploring my upper body, and once again I'm amazed by how good this feels. Why didn't I do this earlier?

Gajeel surprises me, by wrapping both of his arms around me, like he's hugging me, but then he bends down, and kisses one of my nipples. Like it goes automatically, my back arches while I take a sharp, deep breath. My hands move on their own, entangling themselves in his hair.

"Ahh...G-Gajeel."

His embrace tightens as he starts sucking on the nipple, and my body feels like it's been set on fire. My heartbeat jumps and starts pounding in my chest. I don't know what's happening and that scares me.

"Ga-Gajeel...What's happening to me?"

He looks up at me for a moment.

"How do you feel?"

"I don't know. I've never had this before."

"Try to explain what you feel."

"I'm hot. And my heart is racing."

"Is it uncomfortable? "

"No..."

He hears the hesitation in my answer, and pulls back a little, relaxing his grip on me.

"What is it? Something is bothering you."

"Well..."

I hesitate again. This might sound stupid to him. He has been with girls before.

"Tell ."

"Well, It's just.. I don't know why I feel this way. It scares me."

"Does it feel bad? "

"No."

"Then try to enjoy it. But if you want me to stop, you have to tell me."

"I am a bit panicked by your..uhh... bulge."

Gajeel softly chuckles.

"I promise I'll keep it in my pants."

I nod again, giving him permission to continue what he was doing. And God, It's amazing. He kisses, licks and caresses my breasts so softly and tender. After a few minutes, He slowly lowers me on the floor, laying me down on my back, and makes a trail of kisses all the way from my neck , to the hem off my pants. Something tingles inside of me, and I can feel myself get warm between my legs. I can't help myself, but moan. Gajeel pushes himself up on his hands, looking down at me.

"You ok?"

"Yes. This all feels very good. But I was wondering. Isn't there something I can do for you?"

"Baby...That might involve getting that bulge out."

"Why? Is there nothing apart from sex that could please you?"

Gajeel sits up on his knees and sighs.

"Well, yeah. Just like what Mira showed you, guys can please themselves. But, just as Mira did, someone else can do it too."

"How?"

"Uhh."

Gajeel blushes and scratches his neck.

"Well..It would mean I'd take my pants off, or lower them at least, and then it's basically...well, rubbing the shaft with your hand."

I think about that for a minute. That would get really intimate. But so far, it's been going so well. But then again...

"It's allright Yukino . I see the doubt on your face. It's too soon to take it out."

"I'm sorry."

"Hey, don't apologize. I think we're doing pretty well. I didn't expect us to do stuff like this yet."

"I think it went well too. "

Gajeel gets up and pulls me to my feet, handing my clothes to me.

"Natsu and Lucy can be here any moment now,"

He says, while pulling his shirt over his head. And I nod in silence. I completely forgot they were comming. Is that what it's like when they are doing it? Then it must be good. And all things considered...

...

...

...

I pushed my limits today. And I liked it.


	18. Ghosts

**CH: 18 Ghosts**

I wake up, a chill creeping up my spine, my heart accelerated. I'm in my new bedroom. The past two days all my friends have been helping me to move in, painting and furnishing, moving all my stuff from Mira's to my appartment. It's surprising how fast it went.  
But now I feel uncomfortable, like, in the safety of my personal sanctity, something is wrong. And then I see him. In the corner of my bedroom, next to my door, is my father. The door is slighty opened, like he just came in, explaining why I felt chilly just now. I left the window in the livingroom open for fresh air.

I can't see his face. The moon doesn't shine tonight, and he's hiding in the corner. But I know his posture and stance well enough. No doubt in my mind that it is indeed my father. And he confirms my deepest fears by creeping up to my bed as I lie there, frozen in fear. Why am I frozen in fear again? I know I can fight! I almost killed him once! Why can't I move?  
Now that he comes closer, I can see the wicked grin distorting his face. It grows so wide, his lips curl up in a snarl, and he bares his teeth like he'll eat me.

"What's wrong , sweetie? Aren't you glad to see your daddy?"

I instinctively pull up my blanket to cover myself from his peering eyes, but he pulls them off with one strong yank on the corner of my blanket, revealing me in my birthday suit. I thought I wouldn't have to wear a pyama, considering I'm in my own appartment, and the front door is locked. How did he even get in? How did he get past security, passed Laxus?

He won't let me figure it out. He unbuckles his belt, and drops his pants, and that shocks me right out of my frozen state. I turn away from him, only to bump into Gajeel. I can't remember I asked him to sleep here. In my bed no less. But he smiles at me the same way my father does, and now I have no way out.

"Gajeel?"

He just grins and says: "Aren't you happy to see me?"

My voice sounds hoarse.

"What are you doing here?"

A low chuckle rolls from his chest, from his lips, sending a shiver down my spine.

"Me and your old man just wanted to have some fun."

He licks his lips, as he stares at my naked body, and I back away from him, straight into my father's arms. He pins my arms behind my back, as Gajeel lifts his hand to caress my cheek. His hand slowly caresses down my jawline, to my chin, and then slips around my neck. He applies some pressure, effectively cutting off the airflow to my lungs, as his other hand roams over my naked body. Dispite not getting air, I somehow manage to gasp, and remarkably, I manage to scream from the top of my lungs.

"STOOOOOOOP!"

I yerk back up straight in my bed, panicking as the blanket almost chokes me, and the moonlight illuminates my otherwise empty room. I'm alone. Sweating and crying in my bed. In my pyjama's . And as I'm trying to catch my breath, I hear my front door slam open, and an all too familiar roar reaches my ears. Gajeel just broke down my door.

"Gajeel! Now we need to get that fixed! You know I have a spare key! For heaven's sake! Move, you walking nail factory. I'm going in first."

Mira's voice follows Gajeels roar shortly, and within a few seconds she knocks on my closed bedroom door.

"Yukino? Can I come in?"

I can't answer. The only sound that betrays that I'm awake is a loud sob. Mira opens the door just enough to peak in, seeing me in the pale moonlight, and decides I'm decent enough for her to come in. She leaves the door open, and Gajeel peaks around the corner. Even in the dark I can see his face is nothing like in my nightmares, I can even see he's blushing slightly, because even though I have my blanket pulled up over my chest, it's obvious I'm only wearing a shirt.  
Mira sits down on the edge of the bed, gently wiping away the tears from my cheeks. The gentle touch is too much for me, and I start crying, nesting myself in her arms. As I cry my eyes out on her shoulder, she pats my back.

"There there sweetie. It's allright. It was a dream. You're safe."

She instantly knows what's going on, without me even saying one word. Gajeel, still in the doorway, looks at me with eyes full of sorrow.

"Your father?"

I nod to his short question, as I pull myself away from Mira and wipe my face with both hands.

"Yes...but not just him."

Gajeel doesn't understand, but I can hear by the way he sighs when I avert my eyes that it's sinking in.

"Me?"

I nod again. Mira gets up, looking down on me.

"Do you want him to leave?"

I think about it for a while. But even though it must be the middle of the night, Gajeel and I obviously need to talk. So I shake my head.

"No. We need to talk. Go back to bed Mira. Gajeel? Could you wait for me in the living room? I'll go put pants on."

They both nod, a bit surprised, but heed my request anyway. I quickly slip into joggings, and make my way to the living room. Gajeel is on the couch as I walk into the living room, very shirtless, and very nervous. I take the seat next to him, pulling my knees up to my chin, pulling my long shirt over my legs. Gajeel looks at me, I can see that from the corner of my eyes, but I'm looking straight forward.

"He was there. In my bedroom Gajeel. And you were helping him."

Gajeel doesn't answer me. He's probably too scared to say anything right now, guessing where this is going. I look at him, and I am almost hurt by the sadness in his eyes. But I can't do this.

"I don't think I can handle being your girlfriend. I thought I trusted you, but apparently, a big part of me is scared of you."

"Yukino, please..."

"I can't give you what you want, Gajeel."

He stays quiet for a moment. And so do I. But I should know better then to think he would just give up this easily.

"Have I ever forced you?"

I shake my head. I know I'm not being fair. It's not about him. It's me that's afraid of getting intimate. Afraid it will be the same as with my father. But Gajeel is not my father. I know that. But what if he doesn't want to wait for me anymore?

"I will never force you. I can wait."

"That's what you say now."

My response clearly shows my fear and insecurity. I don't want to lose him. But I can't be with him either.

"Why is it all so complicated?"

"It's not."

Gajeel lifts his hand, and carefully tucks a lock of hair behind my left ear, immediately pulling back his hand. He looks at me, too tender to suit his pierced face and wild hair.

"If you don't want me to touch you, I won't. But if I can give my honest opinion..."

His voice trails off into silence, obviously not sure if he should continue. So I nod for him to go on. I want to know what he thinks.

"I think you should break free of that haunted house your father has created in your mind. You're still his prisoner, because you are scared it might be like it was with him. Because you're not used to dissobeying him, because whenever you did, he would do those awfull things to you. But he's in jail, and I doubt he'll come out alive. What do you want to do?"

It's a rant, at least for Gajeel's doing, and it makes me think. And the longer I think about it, the more I realise he's right. I live on my own now. I have a boyfriend. Sort of. But because of my father, I'm still living as invisible as I can, trying to stay under the radar of my father's wrath. I rub my eyelids. I hear Gajeel shift next to me, and he carefulle places his arm around my shoulders. I lower my legs and lean my arms on my legs, folding my hands together as if I'm praying.

"I know you are right, Gajeel. But that doesn't make it easier to be intimate with somebody, not even when you've been my closest friend all this time. As much as I've been trough a lot of crap, I do know a good relationship is based on giving an taking. I can't give you anything. Sooner or later that will become a problem."

Gajeel gently pulls me closer, hugging me close to his chest. He's clearly being slow and carefull about it, but it feels allright. This I can handle.

"If it becomes a problem, we deal with it then. For now, pick anything you always wanted to do, that your father didn't allow, and we'll do it."

I pull back from his embrace and look at him, with a wide smile. His face is the face of total confusement.

"I want to get my ears pierced."

...

...

...

Gajeel leaves, early in the morning, after we talked all night. We're both exhausted, but today is the first day of our last week before spring break, before spring festival, so we seriously need to go to school. We still have a lot of preperations to do. This week will be entirely about the festival decorations, making things to sell for charity, and, for me and a few others, practicing our instruments to perform at the festival. Several school bands and solo artists will be performing, taking turns, keeping the festival lively. I even heard Jellal will be DJ , making music in between performances. I look forward to it. It sounds like a lot of fun.

Gajeel leaves to get showered and I decide to do the same. The conversation we had last night is stuck in my head. After we decided to make and appointment at the piercing shop today after school, he asked me about everything I ever wanted to do, and we ended up making some sort of bucket list. There's things I can do now, or during springbreak. But there's also a lot of things that need more time, maybe even years, like traveling. But Gajeel said he wanted to do all of it together. As much as I can see our relationship ending, he is apparently convinced we'll somehow figure it out, and maybe, still be together in years. At least he didn't want to hear about giving up, or breaking up. He wants to keep trying, and so do I.

We also talked about my obvious problems with intimacy. He doesn't want to force me, and I trust that he won't, but I can't help feeling like I'm coming up short on my end of this relationship. As the warm shower pours down on me, I remember the little box, on the bottom shelf of my closet. The box where I keep the toys Mira gave me.

Still wet, not even bothering to turn off the shower, I find myself kneeled in front of my closet, the box in my hand, the lid on the floor. I take out the vibrator, and look at the object in my hand as if I was looking at something alien. I am convinced I love Gajeel. For him, I have to push my limits. I have to try.

I go back to the shower. Mira explained that aiming the shower at my sweet spot, might make me come undone, but that it might also help me relax enough to actually use the toys. I sit down in my tub, after taking the shower head from it's holder on the wall, and aim the water between my legs. The tingling , warm sensation almost comes over me immediately, and I can't help moaning a bit. This is so different. This feeling is nothing like what I felt when my father did things to me. I feel the sensation become stronger, and with a loud gasp I reach my high. Heavily breathing I put the showerhead back in it's holder and sit down again, reaching for the vibrator I put on the side of the tub. I hesitate for a moment, but then I position it at my entrance, the tip touching my lower lips. With my free hand I spread my lips a bit, and slowly push the bright pink toy inside of me.

Now that I do it myself, I can actually concentrate on how it feels, without being scared. I'm in control, I can stop whenever I want. I slowly push deeper, and a soft sigh escapes me. This feels so strange, but it's definitely not bad. Not at all. The tip touches a spot that makes me buck my hips with a jolt, and in full surprise I look down at the toy. I haven't even pushed the button yet. What if I would?

The second I turn the toy on, waves of pleasure start washing over me. The deep spot inside of me gets tickled over and over again, and I have to bite my lip not to moan too loud. If Mira and Gajeel, who have their appartments on the other end of the hall, could hear me scream earlier when I had that nightmare, I cannot allow them to hear me scream now. But, God I feel like screaming out. This is too much. The waves of pleasure are almost unbarable. My free hand firmly grabs hold on the edge of the tub, and I squeeze so hard, my knuckles turn white. I can hear my own excited moans echoing on the bathroom walls.

"Ungh...ahhh...o...my...god."

Throwing my head back I grit my teeth to keep my scream in as I reach my peak for the second time. When I finally come down from my high, I slowly pull the toy out, turn it off and clean it. Realising what I just did, I get out of the tub, to see my own smile reflected in the mirror.

From this day on...

...

...

...

I'll face my ghosts and I will defeat every single one of them.


	19. Vipers

**A/N: Once again i'm sorry for taking so long. But this time I have a good reason. Being sick, busy and having my hands full with projects, from drawing to Cosplay costumes. So much to do in between work and sickness was a bit hard, so writing was not really a priority. I hope this chapter will be worth it.**

 **CH.19 : Vipers.**

The entire class seems to be filled with noise as everyone is working on the festival decorations. I'm in a group of girls, working on banners that we will hang on the outer walls of the school building, and on the fence next to the main gate. Other groups are working on flags, painting wooden boards with inviting slogans on it, to invite people to our festival.

After all, it's for charity, so we want to draw in as many people as we can. The profits of all our sales go to charity, and even though we're busting our asses off making all these flags and banners, other classes might even be working harder.

The weilding class is making jewelry and assesories, like mirrors, but the more experienced weilders make complete pieces of furniture or statues of some kind.  
Art class is making drawings and paintings.  
Cooking class is in charge of the food,drinks and snacks.

There will be a play, and a dance, ballet if I'm not mistaken. And all kinds of activities and games where the visitors can win prices. It seems like we have all the ingredients to make this festival a success.

I've been practicing my violin with Levy every day after school, even though she was very enthousiastic about me getting my ears pierced today, so she didn't mind letting me off the hook today.

The bell signals the end of this class, and also lunchbreak. When I leave the classroom, Gajeel is already there, waiting for me as he casually leans against the wall.

"You either ran all the way here, or left weilding class early."

There's no other way he could be here this fast after the schoolbell.

He chuckles and pushes himself off the wall. He holds out his hand to me, and for a moment I'm confused, because we never walked hand in hand before, but then I see he's holding a small box. A gift.

"Is that for me?"

He nods, a bit emberassed and turns away his face, while scratching the back of his head nervously.

"Yeah, I thought, if you're getting your eyes pierced, maybe you'd like these."

I take the small box from his hand, opening it slowly, revealing two small earings that seem to be made of woven gold, adorned with little green stones, that sparkle like stars.

"Gajeel...I don't know what to say. They're beautifull."

"They were my mothers."

There's a long silence as I realise what he just said. He misses his mother immensely, and this might be one of the few things he has left from her. But he's giving it to me?

"Gajeel, are you sure?"

He nods, and folds my fingers around the box, closing it as he does. Without another word he puts his arms around my shoulders, and guides me to the school canteen, my fist squeezing a little around the box. I don't know why, but this gift makes me feel nervous. Happily nervous.

...

...

...

...

"O my gosh, I thought this day would never end."

Gajeel mumbles something that sounds like an agreement, while stretching next to me. We're on our way to see Ms Kinana, so I can play for her, and after that we agreed to eat at my place, and go to my piercing appointment after. When we arrive at the music room, I see Cobra and Levy standing in a corner. They seem to be in an agitated conversation. Gajeel frowns as Levy starts to sob.

"Trouble in paradise."

My sarcasm goes unnoticed, as Gajeel is obviously worried about Levy, but we can't hear what they are saying. After a little while, Levy sobs louder, turns away from Eric and comes our way in a hurry, seemingly intending to rush passed us. Gajeel however, has other plans, and stops her.

"Lev, what happened?"

"He just broke up with me!"

With a loud cry, Levy pushes Gajeel aside and runs down the hallway. Gajeel looks at her, and back at Cobra, who just shrugs and comes our way.

"I know what you're thinking Gajeel, but she wanted me to change everything about me. If she doesn't want me as me, she would never be happy with me. Trust me, It's for the best."

Gajeel only grunts and turns away to knock on the door to the music room, and Ms Kinana opens the door.

"Ah , Yukino! Come in. Are the boys coming too?"

Not expecting Eric to join us, I'm surprised when he actually does follow us inside. Ms Kinana tells them to sit down and be quiet so they won't disturb me, and hands me her own violin.

"There, lets hear what you intended to play this Friday."

I take my time tuning the violin, although that's hardly nessecary, and take my position. The first few notes echo trough the auditorium, and with every single move my play becomes more confident. I play slowly and quietly, then fast and intense, losing myself in the song. As the final note dies and fades into silence, my little audience politely applauds.  
Ms Kinana gets up and takes the violin from me again.

"I expect you'll play better on your own violin, but you can be sure of extra points. Music will not make you fail this year. Well done."

I smile and thank her, and dance towards Gajeel, who gives me a quick hug, but not quick enough to save him from Cobra's chuckle. Gajeel shoots him an angry glare, but pays no further attention, and we decide to leave, so we'll have some time to ourselves after dinner. Cobra gets up as well, but when he turns to leave, Ms Kinana calls his name, and we leave them in the auditorium. It's only five minutes to my appartment, but Gajeel wants to drop off his belongings at his place before we eat, so we go this his appartment first. Gajeel basically just opens his door, throws his backpack inside and, by the sound of it, on Natsu's head, and closes the door again.

The first thing he asks when we enter my appartment;

"What's for dinner?"

His question, though logical, puts me off guard for a second, because I honestly didn't think about it. Gajeel sees the expression on my face and chuckles softly. Walking to my kitchen he starts going trough my cabinets.

"Lets see what you have...Mh. O, we could make spaghetti."

"Yes!"

I start getting pots and pans out of a different cabinet, But Gajeel stops me.

"Woah! Easy. We only need one big pot."

I look at my arms full of pots and pans, and grin a bit sheepishly. Ofcourse we don't need eight pots or pans. I pick the biggest one I have, put it on the counter and put the rest back where it belongs. Gajeel is already chopping up some vegetables, and points his knife at my fridge.

"You got some minced meat?"

I open my fridge, but unfortunately, I only have some chicken.

"That'll do."

Gajeel quickly takes the chiken from me, turns it over again and again, nods and mumbles, and hands it back to me, together with a knife and a cutting board.

"Could you cut it into bitesize pieces?"

"Yes, chef."

I giggle at the way he takes control in my kitchen, but I must admit I like it. It's nice to cook together. We chop our ingredients in silence for a few minutes, untill we're both done, and Gajeel puts the pan on the stove, turning on the heat underneath, and starts cooking.

...

...

...

"That was delicious Gajeel."

"Thanks, I enjoyed it too."

Gajeel licks his lips with a smile,and when I'm done wiping my mouth with a napkin and look at him, I can't help but burst out in laughter.

"You boar. How do you get sauce on your cheek? Wait, let me."

I get on my knees next to him on the couch, putting my hands on his shoulders, and playfully lick the sauce off of his cheek. I feel him stiffen under me, and I look at him curiously, seeing him look at me in shock.

"What? What did I do?"

"That was uhh..."

"What?"

Gajeel nervously clears his troath.

"Kinda hot."

I feel my face flush with heat, and quickly back up, landing my ass on the couch again. Immediately I feel dumb for my reaction. I promised myself I would fight my ghosts. I nervously rub my cheeks, thinking of what i should do. I feel Gajeel move closer, and when I look up his face is only an inch away from mine. This time I don't back away.

"You know, Gajeel. I tried something this morning."

He backs away a little, his face confused. I continue as if I didn't notice.

"Mira gave me some toys, and after our conversation last night, I though I should at least try to give you what you want. But I wasn't sure if I could, so...I tried one of those toys Mira gave me. And It was actually pretty good."

I blush again, and I'm too emberassed too look at him, but Gajeel firmly grabs my chin, turns my face towards him and kisses me. His other arm wraps around me and pulls me closer to his chest, and I don't mind. This is good. Too soon he releases me.

"We have an appointment. But I'm surprised, shocked and also a bit flattered that you tried something like that for me. But please. Stop pushing yourself. We've got time."

...

...

...

"Allright, ready?"

The man who is about to pierce my ears, lifts his eyebrows at me as he sees how tight I'm squeezing Gajeels hand. I really want this, but I really think this will hurt, even though Gajeel ensured me getting your ears pierced is hardly worth mentioning. I can't really trust a walking metalware shop though. I'm sure compared to some of his piercings, his ears didn't hurt that much, but these are my first.  
Dispite my nerves I nod.

"Yeah, shoot me."

Gajeel chuckles next to me, and the man puts his piercing device on my earlobe. I squeeze my eyes shut, and open them again in shock when I hear a loud pang. The next second I feel my earlobe burn and throb a bit, but it doesn't really hurt. Both Gajeel and the piercer are looking at me, trying to see if I'm ok. I smile at them.

"Next please!"

It only took ten minutes to get my ears pierced. There's some small balls in them right now, and the piercer gave me some desinfecting alcohol, that I have to rub on my earlobes. That in fact, hurts more than getting my ears pierced, but Gajeel told me it was nessecary to make sure my ears won't swell with infection.

We walk over to his motor bike, and right as he hands me my helmet, his body goes stiff, and his eyes are vixed on something on the other side of the road. When I follow his gaze, I see a beautifull, black haired woman in a tight, revealing dress, looking at him with a seductive smile. But that's not why he's looking, He doesn't seem affected by her charmes. He looks almost angry.

"Gajeel? Who is that woman?"

He grunts, shrugs and puts on his helmet, turning his face away from the woman.

"One of McBeth's pets. She's a viper."

...

...

...

I close my appartment door behind me. After we went home, Gajeel and I talked and had a drink in his room. Natsu was home as well, so we didn't want to stay in the living room, choosing to take some privacy. Gajeel seemed a bit aggitated, but soon enough he relaxed again, and once again told me how surprised he was by what I did this morning. We made out a little bit, but Gajeel, as always was very carefull not to cross my boundries, although I might have wanted to try. Maybe another night, after the festival. We both need our sleep.

When I left, It was obvious Natsu was gone as well, and on my way to my appartment, I could clearly hear where he was. Lucy's moans made that very obvious.

I go trough my purse to get my phone. I don't have an alarmclock yet, so I have to set my alarm on my phone, but I can't find it. I almost start to panic, when I suddenly realise I left it on Gajeels nightstand. With a sigh I grab my keys, and go to Gajeels appartment again. From my appartment it's on the other side of the building, but it doesn't take me too long to get there. To my surprise I don't have to knock; the door's open a bit. Just an inch really. I slowly push it open more. Gajeel would never leave the door open, and Natsu is still at Lucy's. In the dim light I see two silhouetes on the couch, and when they hear me enter, one of them gets up.

It's Gajeel with that woman. Gajeel sits motionlessly on the couch, naked and obviously aroused, and the women was sitting on top of him, and as she got up, I could see she was naked as well. Meaning...

Gajeel just cheated on me.

Gajeel says nothing and doesn't move a muscle. He looks at me from the corner of his eyes, but it's too dark to really see his expression. I can't see if he's sorry at all. The woman obviously isn't. She smirks at me.

"Sorry you had to see that dear. You know what crazy things people can do after a few drinks. We just couldn't resist. Lust is so strong."

I notice the glasses on the coffeetable, and smell the alcohol on her breath. It infuriates me. Just when I started pushing myself, Gajeel does this to me. I can just feel my blood boiling.

"So this is why you told me not to force myself. You already had a sextoy. Well, I'm glad I found out before I gave myself to you. Don't let me disturb you, I only came to get my phone."

I march into his bedroom, grab my phone from the nightstand, and march back to the appartment door. Before closing it I turn to face them again. This time Gajeels face is turned towards me, but he still doesn't say a word. I hope he feels ashamed of himself, causing him to lose his tongue.

"I'll give your mothers earrings back tomorrow. I don't want anything that belongs to you. I don't want anything to do with you at called her a viper, but you're just as much a snake as she is."

I slam the door shut, run to my own appartment, and sink to the floor against my appartment door. I hate him! I HATE him! I start crying and weeping, because my heart knows I'm lying. He broke me at my weakest moment, and yet...

...

...

...

I love that snake.

 **A/n: please let me know what you think! very much appreciated**


	20. Gang Dynamics

**A/N: As the few people who follow this story from the beginning will notice, I've changed a few things. First thing being; Serena is replaced by Yukino. I realised adding a non Fairy Tail character, even though it's all OOC, didn't really fit. It messed up the dynamics between characters, and also it was not a really good concept to begin with. Serena was a person with a dead end as I came near the bigger parts of the story. Suddenly replacing her with Yukino might be confusing, but I truly believe it's for the best.**

 **Second thing, I noticed I slipped up some detail in the storyline. I skipped to the finals week instead of spring break, and spring festival, so I corrected that. That took quite some time, replacing all the Serena with Yukino, and correcting mistakes, wich is also one of the reasons it took me so long to write a new chapter.**

 **I hope my alterations have your approvement, and that this chapter makes up for my abscense.**

 **.**

 **.**

 **CH 20: Gang dynamics.**

I swing my legs over the edge of my bed and remain still, just sitting there. I do not want to go to school today. Or any day. I don't want to see him. He didn't say a word, didn't stop me from storming off. Not a single sound. No explanation. How could he do this to me?  
A single tear rolls down my cheek, and I quickly wipe it away. I already cried enough last night. My pillow is still soaked. But ironically, Gajeel is the one who taught me not to cry, and that was actually a good lesson. He will not see my pain, or my tears for that matter.

I get up from the bed, determined to continue my life and school like nothing happened. I will go to class. I will face him, give him back his mothers earrings. I will smile, and I'll be fine. Even without him.

After a small breakfast, that I didn't even finish, I grab my bag, shove my keys and other neccesities in there without bothering to see if everything is in the right place, and leave my appartment. Straight into Gajeel.

"Too soon. I'm not talking to you."

I quickly get passed him and just keep walking, ignoring him completely, even though I can hear him following close behind me. I march out of the building and head straight for the school, but he quickly gets around me and stops me from going any further. Insisting on sticking to the plan I made this morning, I look him straight in the eye with the hardest and coldest look I can manage.

"Move aside. I have nothing to say to you."

"Yukino, please."

"I said, move!"

I step around him, but he grabs my wrist and turns me to face him again.

"Can you at least give me a chance to explain?"

He sounds like he's begging, and I'm almost tempted to let him explain, but honestly, I can't allow myself to trust him right now.

"I don't care about your explanation. I saw what happened. You didn't say a word. Apparently all you need is booze, and your so called patience with my inabillity to be intimate, is gone. And you obviously don't hate Mac's 'pet' enough to, I don't know, NOT rip her clothes off the day she shows up?"

I open my bag and take out the little black box he gave me yesterday, and when I look up I see a genuine hurt look on his face. I hurt his feelings, and I feel guilty, but he crushed me when I finally started to let him in, so I keep a stoic face.

"Here are your mother's earrings. I don't want them. Maybe SHE wants them. As a payment for her services, cause you obviously prefer whores."

I push the box in his hands, forcing him to let me go, turning on my heels and quickly head to the school again. I know my face looks stressed, and I need to get my face straight before I see any of my friends. If I have any. Gajeel's little stunt woke my insecurities all over again. And if word gets out that we broke up, because I seriously don't think I have to tell him that we did, people will take sides. They always do. I'll just have to see how it goes.

Ofcourse with my luck, the first guy I run in to is the last one I want to see apart from my ex-boyfriend. The snake tattoo is pretty much the first thing I bump into.

" Well, 'morning to you too, sweetcheeks. You seem to be in a hurry. Where's the big bad dragon?"

"Just stuff your face, Eric. I don't know, with glue or something."

Once again I move passed someone, and Eric as well, is unable to just leave me be.

"You're in a bad mood today princess."

"Not a princess, snake."

Eric chuckles.

"What happened?"

"None of your bussiness."

Eric follows me to class, even though my attitude makes it clearly obvious that I don't want to talk to him. What a pain in the ass. This is going to be a marvelous day, it seems. I want him to stay away from me, but Eric is true to his nickname. He is a snake. The smothering, choking type. He drops his ass in a seat next to mine, and grins at me.

"Wow, you are really pissed."

Gajeel shows up right behind him, and I turn my face away.

"Leave her alone, Cobra."

I can't see the look on Cobra's face, but he shuts up for a minute, wich is nice. Gajeel quietly takes a seat behind us, and I hear Cobra turn around in his seat. He's clearly confused with our arrangement in seats, and the fact that I'm ignoring Gajeel.

"O my. Now I get it. You two are fighting."

"Not fighting. Not talking. Not dating."

I sum things up like it means nothing, but truthfully, it hurts. Gajeel is the reason I'm able to go back to school after all that happened with my father. It seems unthankfull to ignore him like this, but then again, he DID screw around behind my back.

Eric does not respond, and neither does Gajeel, and I don't want to turn around to see the look on his face. I will just drag myself trough this day, and any other to come, pretending I don't feel his eyes on my back.

.

.

.

By lunchbreak all my friends know about me and Gajeel, and so I end up with a lot of people at my lunchtable, that I usually shared with Gajeel. Ofcourse they all want to know what happened, but there's too many people there, and I'm not sure if I should tell all of them. Maybe Lucy and Mira, the last one ofcourse not present right now. But Levy is Gajeels friend. Natsu I don't trust enough to keep a secret. And I'm not sure what to think of Juvia and Gray.

Just when I've decided to only tell Mira, since I'm pretty sure Lucy will tell Natsu, Cobra pops up again, smoothly slides on the seat next to me, and puts his elbows on the table, his chin resting on his left hand.

"He banged Minerva."

Cobra says it like it's nothing, and I stare at him in anger. How can he say something like that so easily and be so insensitive about it?

My friends look shocked, but most of all confused. Nobody knows who Minerva is. Except Cobra, obviously. I know he was in the same gang as Gajeel. He must have known her, and who knows how well. He might have banged her himself. But right now, he looks at me with a serious, and even a bit sympathetic face, while the others present at the table start mumbling and whispering.

"Who's Minerva?"

"He banged another chick?"

I can't help answering Cobra friendly face with an angry, but coutious look.

"Did you have to say that in front of all of them? Isn't it my choice who I trust with this?"

Cobra waves my protests away.

"They're your friends. You should trust them, especially with what happened. I've seen how you go around classes today, and it seems to me, you need your friends."

"Still my call."

I get up in frustration,and try to get away from him as fast as possible and as far away as the school allows me, but once again he's on my tail. I whirl around, making him stop in the middle of a step.

"Stop following me!"

"We need to talk."

"No we don't."

"Yukino. There is no way Gajeel would cheat on you."

"Then explain what it was I saw."

"I don't know, but Minerva is a demon. They might call me a snake, but she's the real deal. The devil in the flesh. And I believe there's a great chance, she might have acted on Macbeth's orders. I know you're confused and angry and you don't trust me. But I can tell you all about the gang, and I know a few guys who can tell you even more about Minerva."

"Who would that be?"

"Her brothers."

..

...

...

Cobra convinced me to accompany him to a lunchroom after school. He told me Minerva's brothers work there, and they agreed to meet up with us. I have no idea why I'm trusting him, or what good it will do to know more about Minerva, but the look on Gajeels face was enough to go with Cobra anyway. And so I ended up at the lunchroom with Cobra, sitting opposite of the strangest twins I ever met. And that's what they are according to Cobra.

"Sting and Rogue. Twins. Like Yin and Yang, inseperable, but also eachothers opposites."

It's not rocket science to figure out why. Sting is a energetic, blonde guy, who never seems to stop moving, his haircut short and modern. Rogue on the other hand, has long black hair and seems to prefer to say as little as possible. They both give me the seem curious look though. Sting starts talking.

"Eric says you want to know about our sister. Why?"

I look at Cobra and then look down at the table.

"My boyfriend, Gajeel, slept with her."

The twins lean back in their chair at the same time, and look at eachother. If this situation wasn't so strange and awkward, it would be funny to see how they're so alike and yet so different. Sting looks at me again.

"Gajeel had sex with our sister?"

I nod, not knowing what to say to such a direct question, but Rogue already directed his attention to Cobra.

"Midnight?"

"I assume, yes. You know your sister well enough to know she would never sleep with Gajeel unless there was something in it for her. Mac must have promised her something."

The twins sigh in unison, and again Sting takes the lead in the conversation.

"What you should know about Minerva, is that she would first and for all, do anything to be on top of the foodchain so to speak. When she was little , our father beat her up every time she cried, untill we were big enough to stop him. But by that time, Minerva had already become so bitter, she just wanted to be feared. Worshipped. If the world is a beehive, she wants to be the queen. And right now, Mac is the king of the gang. She'll do anything to become his queen, no matter what, even though I'm sure she doesn't care about him at all."

Rogue silently nods, and Cobra turns to me.

"I know for sure Mac doesn't care about her either. He's just using her. Sting an Rogue have tried to make her quit the gang, but she wouldn't listen. And that night in the club it was pretty obvious Mac had his eyes on you. I wouldn't put it past him to break the two of you up, so he can come to the rescue as the knight in shining armor to snatch you away."

I sigh. Even though this all sounds convincing. It still doesn't explain Gajeels behaviour.

"If she's that bad, he shouldn't have let her in his home."

Cobra nods.

"I'll give you that one, that was stupid. But the gang kinda stays a part of you. If she showed up, he wouldn't just turn her away. The gang is like family, you don't just turn your back on that."

"He just sat there, Eric! He hardly even looked at me. She was on top of him when I walked in on them, and he didn't even have the balls to look at me! Only when I left, he looked at me from the corner of his eyes, as she stood in front of me, completely naked and smiling."

All three of the boys frown now, and Sting leans his arms on the table, getting his face closer to me.

"He didn't even turn his head?"

I shake my head.

"No, he didn't move at all."

Eric grabs my arm and makes me look at him.

"Yukino, look at me. Tell me exactly what you saw."

"I just told you. They were on the couch, she was on top of him, she clearly had been drinking, Gajeel didn't move, didn't say a word, nothing."

Rogue taps his fingers on the table, the most noise he has made since I met him.

"Eric, are your supplies still intact?"

I'm confused.

"Supplies?"

"Poison and venom."

It takes me a while to understand why we're suddenly talking about poison and venom, but then it dawns on me. I turn my entire body towards Eric.

"Do not tell me, she had access to your freakshow."

"The gang has a few people who are experts and break and entry."

This is almost too much to stomach.

"You think she stole some of it and poisoned Gajeel?!"

Eric quickly hushes me, reminding me we're still in the lunchroom, but he can't avoid my question.

"Yes, Yukino, That's exactly what I think she did."

...

...

...

 **A/N: Hope you guys liked this chapter! please leave a review to tell me if you like the changes I made or not. All advice is welcome ;)**


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